Your Daughter's Date is Picking Her Up For The Prom....
- Thread starter Shock and Awe
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Joke:
Keep a sniper rifle trained on idiot's head at all times. Just in case.
Serious advice:
I may be the wrong person for this sort of advice because 1) I'm a guy, 2) My sister isn't even in High School yet, 3) I didn't go to my own prom for various reasons. But I think that you should first get to know the guy who's taking her out before getting suspicious. If he does seem the type to force himself, I guess you could follow them around... no... the idiot's parents would probably sue you for stalking him... and succeed at it too... no... honestly, the only thing you could do apart from getting her to go with someone else (if possible), or just not letting her go to prom, is to just be there for her if things do go as you fear they might.
Keep a sniper rifle trained on idiot's head at all times. Just in case.
Serious advice:
I may be the wrong person for this sort of advice because 1) I'm a guy, 2) My sister isn't even in High School yet, 3) I didn't go to my own prom for various reasons. But I think that you should first get to know the guy who's taking her out before getting suspicious. If he does seem the type to force himself, I guess you could follow them around... no... the idiot's parents would probably sue you for stalking him... and succeed at it too... no... honestly, the only thing you could do apart from getting her to go with someone else (if possible), or just not letting her go to prom, is to just be there for her if things do go as you fear they might.
Go to the door, and as the guy says that he is her date say 'but she's my date'. it'd go along something like this:
'i'm here to pick up your daughter'
'who be you?'
'i'm her prom date'
'no, i'm her prom date'
'but you're her father?!'
'i could be her prom date'
'i'm here to pick up your daughter'
'who be you?'
'i'm her prom date'
'no, i'm her prom date'
'but you're her father?!'
'i could be her prom date'
I would answer my door while I was holding a vibrator, then I would say "One minute, she needs to get dressed." while putting on a wig and lipstick.
I would tell the guy not to have sex with my daugther while sharpening my ax/hedgeclippers and if he did and knocked my daugther up i would chop or cut his D*** and B***s OFF!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XnuPOk144c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3XnuPOk144c
as you open the door, inject the guy with truth serum and ask him some really embarrassing questions while your daughter is in earshot. as they are both leaving, shout to your daughter 'he's a swell guy, you made the right choice' as she looks very, very scared.
Actually having put some thought into this, for some reason or another (I was bored), I've come up with what I would actually do:
I'd be nice, I'd be proper, but I'd make one thing very clear. He doesn't have to marry her, I'm a reasonable person, if she turns out to not be "the one" for him, the kind of crying she'd do from being dumped would tick me off of course but its understandable (so long as she wasn't dumped for a stupid reason or he found a replacement fo rher). But if he dares to hurt her, in any way shape or form, his head will be mine and I'll be doing life in jail.
I'd be nice, I'd be proper, but I'd make one thing very clear. He doesn't have to marry her, I'm a reasonable person, if she turns out to not be "the one" for him, the kind of crying she'd do from being dumped would tick me off of course but its understandable (so long as she wasn't dumped for a stupid reason or he found a replacement fo rher). But if he dares to hurt her, in any way shape or form, his head will be mine and I'll be doing life in jail.
You basically laid out my plans for me. Except that I won't take his life. I'll make his life so miserable that he will wish he had never been born. Everything and everyone he loves, I will destroy. Everything he enjoys doing, I will make sure he unable to do any of them ever again. All his hopes and dreams, I will dash and shatter. I will do all of this while staying out of trouble. So that when he finally commits suicide, I will look into his eyes with a smile on my face, and say "I told you that this would happen." (the looking into his eyes part is conditional, since I may have to blind him in the previous steps)LloydEsaka said:
"I like guns. Do you like guns? Come round afterwards and I'll show you my gun collection. Don't worry, it's perfectly legal; I'm with the law. Good thing you ain't breaking into my house or something eh? (laugh uproariously, slapping him on the back) Anyways, have fun at the prom, and remember, I'll have my sights on you." (wink blatantly, then mime shooting him, making little "pew" noises under your breath, then stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. Finally, snap out of it as though nothing had ever happened, and smile un-nervingly.)
I'd make a good father.
I'd make a good father.
*Opens door*
"Uhh... Hey who are you?"
"I'm ____ here to take your daughter to prom?"
"But she's already left with that other guy"
"Umm... what?"
"She already went to prom with some other guy"
*Heartbreak*
"JOKES! ____ get down here! Why are you crying?"
"Uhh... Hey who are you?"
"I'm ____ here to take your daughter to prom?"
"But she's already left with that other guy"
"Umm... what?"
"She already went to prom with some other guy"
*Heartbreak*
"JOKES! ____ get down here! Why are you crying?"
