Your Daughter's Date is Picking Her Up For The Prom....

[sam13lfc]

I'd have my daughter paint me up to be a real crazy, then be nice to him the whole time, keep him on edge about what I'm going to do next.

That's just evil genius right there, I lol'd.

 

[Abcxyq]

Using a starter pistol, shoot the ground before I open the door, and yell "THAT'LL TEACH YA", then open the door and pretend nothing happened.

 

[ucciolord1]

Open the door in a bloodstained Gorilla suit.

 

[Hussmann54]

I would do the classic "on the porch with a gun"

"Wikipedia says that the average bullet moves at over 1000 feet per second. If you think about trying anything, first ask yourself "Can I run faster than that?"

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Have fun and pay no attention to the snipers.

 

[DocBalance]

I remember a story I heard a few years back about a guy who, when his daughter's date showed up, he set up two separate meetings with two of his friends, the first of which was this HUGE black dude dressed up like a hit-man. He shows up at the door about a minute after the date sits down to wait for the guys daughter. The dad opens the door and lets his friend in, and the friend proceeds to grill the poor date while glaring daggers at him. Something along the lines of "Your her date? Oh. Then I guess I better warn about what happened to the last guy....Just remember, you get any thoughts about, touchin' her or anything, I hear the Hudson is REAL nice this time of year..."

Then his other friend shows up, who happens to be a drill sergeant. I can't remember what he said, but he basically yells at him for 3 minutes in full uniform. Finally the dad comes back in and breaks the joke to the terrified date, who looks fit to crap his pants at this point.

 

[Zedzero]

I think making a joke about his possible sexual inaddicusies would be the best root.

Hand him a dick pump.

 

[KValentine]

Shake his hand while casually holding a shotgun in the other. No warnings, threats, or any acknowledgments of holding a shotgun while shaking his hand.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Ka-CHIK

He's doing what now?

 

[Grayjack]

"My daughter? You mean my son, right?"

Edit: Oh, and I probably would just stand there with my butterfly knife and just calmly flick it around my hand while making conversation.

That Internet expired on the 31st!
OT: I'm not really sure what I would say.

 

[Blair Bennett]

To really freak him when my daughters out of the room I'd say "Hey kid, ever seen the film Teeth?"

Any sensible young man would run.

 

[Mcupobob]

Oh yes you will do just find, then lick my lips.

 

[omega 616]

Just before you open the door undo your belt and maybe the top button on your jeans, open the door and button up your jeans while saying "your just in time, we just finished".

Obviously try to keep a straight face.

 

[BGH122]

I open the door with my trouser truncheon hanging out my unzipped fly, stare the boy right in the eye and rapidly engorge my mini-me whilst pulling the following face:

At which point I would close the door and beat my daughter mercilessly by the window.

 

[nettkenneth]

say while watching news or something "so much guns and knives have everyone forgot the subtle skill of beating the shit out of guys with a golfclub... ahh people nowadays"

then go on and greet the guy and smile that "im just waiting for a reason" smile and send them off

cause it's no reason to kill a guy for having bad judgement

 

[Shadowfaze]

Hit him with a hammer while she gets her prom dress on. Then hide him in the car boot.

Daughter: wheres Brad?
Me: He had to go, he said he doesnt want to go with you after all, you go alone, you'll be fine, ok?

Then, dump the body on the side of the road, about 20 miles away.

 

[Nouw]

*Gets mini-gun

"If anything happens to her"

Enough Said

 

[The Austin]

"No SEX, 'AIGHT?"

Than my daughter would go

"AWWW DAD! Your so funny!"

than I would say

"*****, I mean it."