Your just walking down the street and then suddenly...

[Drakmorg]

"I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite sidewalk on the citadel." I hear.
Then I look up, I'm on the Citadel, with elcor and hanar and turians and all those other guys.

I now feel equal parts "Fuckin' A, I'm on the goddamn Citadel" and "Wait, all my stuff is back on earth, and I don't have a spaceship, dammit..."

And then I end up becoming a space prostitute, since I don't have any space money or any skills that could be marketable in 2185.

 

[gostlyfantom]

when out of the corner of my eye I saw a pretty little thing approaching me, she said "ive never seen a man who looked so all alone, coud you use a little company?" if you pay the right price your evening will be nice- ok you get the joke and you know the lyrics.

 

[bpm195]

A hot woman tries to kill me...

...

I need to see a shrink.

 

[sycoesis]

zombie apocalypse 95% of us die and i drive and ambulance carrying a nuke into an active volcano
after being bitten myself

 

[Drummie666]

A guy walks around the corner and tries to put a knife in my throat, I dodge and we have an epic free-run chase around the city which ends when I make it into the police department building.

 

[Emperor Inferno]

Natalie portman blows me, then asks me to write a script.

I proceed to write a script. It's the best script of all time, past present or future. The fact that I'm the best of all time makes Natalie like me even more, and so she blows me again.

And then we do other stuff....

 

[Hisshiss]

DICKWOLVES HAPPEN!

Every morning we are roused awake by savage blows, and every night we are raped to sleep by the dickwolves. xD.

 

[Merkavar]

im dreaming and arent wearing any pants.

 

[Phantomess]

I can hear Bon Jovi... but my phone is in my bag and I'm not wearing headphones... there is only one man who can play the guitar and voicebox like that!

Richie Sambora is busking outside my house. My God.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

An army of creepers appear in front of me.....TTTTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

[jamesmax]

I become a King.
Or better than Kings... Gods

The world will be led into a Golden age.
Only for me though, everyone else gets oppressed. I'd be a real dick if I took power.

Uniforms would be snappy though.

or beter yet the king of gods

 

[jamesmax]

anc[is]AND THEN COMES A GIANT FIST!!!

sungbob

 

[Ambi]

*is too embarrassed to say*

The first thing I think of is usually something perverted, the second thing is a cliche, and by the third time I feel dishonest for going to the effort to think of something delightfully amusing and random-sounding.

 

[SinisterGehe]

Every human on earth would just disappear and everything would be left as they were. All the fast food meals on the table, cars on the street etc. And I would be able to live in eternal solitude.

 

[Votix]

I hear the word MAGGOT and all of a sudden I'm blown to pieces thinking:"Screw Soldier."

 

[ranyilliams]

I found a lottery ticket and it won me 50 million dollars. I retire at 19 and make movies for the rest of my life.

 

[Dfskelleton]

Suddenly, I am approached by an ancient Chinese Emperor. The Emperor explains how I am actually made of cardboard, and therefore have power over all dishwashers. I adopt every dishwasher on the planet and name them all Soopits. With my army of Soopits, we march to the vaccuum cleaner store and buy the best vaccuum cleaner in the store. We then use this vaccuum to suck up the entire ocean. We then fly into space and pour the ocean on the sun, thus putting the sun out once and for all, giving rights to every tangerine in the northern hemisphere. With rights for all tangerines, I return home to take a bath, only to find that my bathtub was my one and only son all along. After a touching reunion, we drink the core of the earth as father and son, becoming planets ourselves in the process.
That, or I adopt a squid and name him Overlord Buzzdeathmurderfrenzygorekill IV: Devourer of souls. With my trusty steed, I conquer Malaysia.

 

[Aurora Firestorm]

I find a winning lottery ticket and don't have to panic about getting a job after grad school, and I can do whatever the hell I want.

Done.

 

[BoredDragon]

Out of no where, 3 ninja walruses appear from the darkness. I pull out my katana that I have for some reason and we are about to fight when it turns out they were just returning my wallet.

Those ninja walruses are always such so helpful