Your most painful accident. (caused by an in-aminate object)

[The_Chief]

not my worst but the funniest. today, while i was riding my bike, i hit a car. but only the mirror. so with just my bicep. i took off the mirror part and the frame was bent and messed up. i was fine. like 10 cars stopped, but i was fine. it was fun explaining that to the police.

 

[USA2018]

i tried to jump over razor wire whilst in baghdad. didn't make it... only 7 stitches, but ti hurt like hell. i think the damage to my ego was the biggest injury.

 

[hcig]

I've been elbowed in the face by a statue. It hurt.

What's the most painful thing to ever happen to you that was completely your own fault and caused by an in-animate object.

well, i was there, laying with my ass in the air, and the gerb-

oh wait, inatimate?

....


...so i kill the gerbil, and then...

 

[Teh Ty]

One, soccer match, hit in the balls by a soccer ball, then , when I was still down, straight into the face.

 

[Squedee]

was lifting laminated boards
put my end down
other person puts down their end, knocking my end off
breaking my pinky toe on my right foot
was probably an 80-100 pound board

 

[Fruitloops89]

getting poked in the eye by a tree even though I wear glasses
falling up the stairs
bumping my knee into a table
realizing I slept on a whammy bar for a guitar hero guitar
stepping on a toothpick
walking into a door
getting cut by a glass you didn't know was broken


and all of these happened in the past three days.

 

[UltimatheChosen]

Accidentally stabbing my hand with a woodcutting tool when I was eight. I still have the scar (and it's been over twelve years).

 

[Zacharine]

Does bursting your eardrums from a fragmentation grenade exploding 3 meters from you at a shooting range count as an injury caused by an inanimate object?

Do explain.

I thought I already did, but here goes again.

Military shooting/practice range. First time with live grenades. We are at a pillbox. The guy who's turn it's to throw decides he doesn't need to wait for a permission until priming the grenade and he thinks thatn despite numerous warnings to the contrary it's quite okay to hold the 'nade on his left hand, pull the pin with the right and then swith the 'nade from his left hand to his right before throwing it. The handle flies off, starting the countdown from 3 until explosion. The guy panics and tries to get rid of it by throwing it haphazardly. The serge sees this and yells 'Duck and cover!'. We hunker down in the pillbox, trying to protect our ears (half of us didn't yet have ear protectors on). The grenade gos boom about 3 meters from us. The shrapnel naturally don't penetrate to the pillbox, but the sound is quite defeaning. I get up dizzy, ears tinning like hell and a mate looks at me, points at my ears. Litlle bit of blood coming out. An ambulance trip and a hospital later we see I have bursted my eardrums. A few days of treatments and orders to use earplugs for 24/7 for a week before coming back for a check-up and I'm back, yelling at the effin idiot who threw the 'nade. Neither our liutenant nor our serge were too amused either and the captain was furious. During my (and couple of others) hospital trip he was getting investigated by MP to see if he had properly reviewed and passed on the instructions for live grenade use and checked the serge's and liutenants qualifications before ordering the training. He of course got scott free as he should have (he had done everything by the book), but it pissed him off none the less. The serge and lieutenant only got a extremely minor slap on the wrist (small pay deduction for liutenant, the serge got a few days of not being allowed outside the base gates. You get worse punishments for falling asleep for 5 minutes on some mockjob useless guard duty.) but the guy who threw the 'nade... Well, let's just say I'm glad I'm not him. N prison or anything but...

This happened over 4 years ago. My hearing is mostly fine (usual ranges and not weak enough to merit any kind of hearing aid. Got lucky ), but sometimes loud or shrill noices make the tinning come back.

 

[Skarvey]

I think every male on this thread can agree on one greivous bodily injury that we've all incurred at one point or another. Yes, my friends, I am talking, of course, of catching your manhood in the zipper of your pants.










Yeah, you just remembered it, didn't you?

 

[DinosaurSnack]

Was riding my bike when I was about 5, and there was this old mailbox with the corner of its bottom sticking out. It sliced my finger right open. I still have the scar.
Stubbing my toe and anything...I have an ingrown toenail they are not fun.
Finally I hit my right arm on a piece of metal that basically took an almost perfect triangle (about an inch on all sides) that was and inch and a half deep, yet I did not feel a thing. to give a more clear picture it was as if someone took a cookie cutter and ripped out a chunk of my flesh.

 

[tkioz]

I don't know if this counts but I peed on an electric fence when I was 9 years old.

Its hard to describe how much that freaking hurt.

 

[MorsePacific]

While riding my bike to a friend's house (not even a mile down the road) I managed to crash my bike into a two foot high wall hard enough to take me and the bike over it, resulting in me landing in a comfy pile of gravel with my bike on top of me.

 

[SimpleChimp]

I was riding my bike as a kid, fell off, and peeled off like half may face. (don't worry, it all grew back flawlessly)

The only time i was ever knocked out was when i got hit by a base ball.

I've been run over a car, and fished tailed by atleast three.

But worst of all, i ran into the mesh/net door (what ever the wire door is on the sliding glass door), fell back wards (after completely twisting the frame) fell back wards and broke a wooden table. I had a bad concussion and dislocated my shoulder.

 

[similar.squirrel]

All manner of toe and foot-related mishaps.

 

[DragunovHUN]

More stupid than painful but... i got an AK bayonet stuck on my right ring finger once.

Here's what i said about it at the time:

finger stuck in bayonet... spent all night in hospital... had to get bayonet cut off w/ powertool. had to go buy 1, was defective. Doc went home brought his. Got burn injuries, effect of lidocain worn off halfway through the night. it fuckin hurt. got tetanus injection in butt. nearly lost finger, no blood flow
russian plum 74 "deactivated" :'(

Typing with one hand sucked.

Spoiler

 

[thatsepic]

i divided by zero... have not been the same since

 

[Dantes Alaska]

was playing catch when i was younger, was going deep, and ran into one of those bbq's that are in the ground in picnic areas, i had about an 8 inch bruise right next to my crotch, and a couple scars from working in the food services

 

[WittyName]

Hit in the face with a bass guitar, which almost knocked my front teeth out.

The headstock still has the indent my teeth made in it!