Your Pure Awesome Fort?
- Thread starter Fniff
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I reckon that anybody who gets through the stuff on this list or even finishes reading this list without quitting out of sheer boredom deserves entrance into my castle, here is the challenges-
A woodland of bloodsuckers, a pint drinking contest with some gross fat guy, a omega pirate in a arena, a shopping mall guarded by laughing octopus, a maze 2 miles wide, a minefield, an assault coarse, a valley guarded by the salamander from lost planet demo, a door where the key is on the other side, a slippery ledge a bit taller then you can jump, a half hour long quick time event, a hall of mirrors with a tiny secret button indistinguishable from regular panels, a desert with strong bloom effect in order to blind you, a wall made of really smelly cheese, a door with push written on it when in fact you must pull, a really unreasonable target practice event, a supreme hunter, a really damn angry dog, a mildly creepy man and you must fish around in his pocket in order to find a key while he makes pretend sex noises in order to deter you, a lock where you must turn the key in time with an increaseingly frantic tune, ravenholm, a hole only large enough to allow a mouse, a corridor filled with microwaves, a hospital roof where you must defend it for ten minuets while infected assault you, a really quite uncomfortable heli copter ride where the seats are just a little bit wonky, a poetry contest, a phone call to your mother, a five part vidio of break dancing, an enraged bear, a path made of white hot beams of metal, a rubix cube, a ring fight with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a swim in acid, a timed jumping puzzle, a really tedious wine tasting competition, a haunted mansion, a long path where you kind of think you can hear footsteps slightly out of sink with yours but when you stop you cant hear them any more for some reason, a little wooden hut with a large spinning blade filling up the way out, Sepheroth from kingddom hearts, a game of pong with a really cleaver computer, a yo mama so fat joke contest with GLados.
Anybody capable of getting through all those events in a line would be allowed in my castle. Not that I have a castle, but if I did those would definitely be the security measures I would include. Gods I am childish for taking part in this, although I am a child so I guess that is alright.
A woodland of bloodsuckers, a pint drinking contest with some gross fat guy, a omega pirate in a arena, a shopping mall guarded by laughing octopus, a maze 2 miles wide, a minefield, an assault coarse, a valley guarded by the salamander from lost planet demo, a door where the key is on the other side, a slippery ledge a bit taller then you can jump, a half hour long quick time event, a hall of mirrors with a tiny secret button indistinguishable from regular panels, a desert with strong bloom effect in order to blind you, a wall made of really smelly cheese, a door with push written on it when in fact you must pull, a really unreasonable target practice event, a supreme hunter, a really damn angry dog, a mildly creepy man and you must fish around in his pocket in order to find a key while he makes pretend sex noises in order to deter you, a lock where you must turn the key in time with an increaseingly frantic tune, ravenholm, a hole only large enough to allow a mouse, a corridor filled with microwaves, a hospital roof where you must defend it for ten minuets while infected assault you, a really quite uncomfortable heli copter ride where the seats are just a little bit wonky, a poetry contest, a phone call to your mother, a five part vidio of break dancing, an enraged bear, a path made of white hot beams of metal, a rubix cube, a ring fight with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a swim in acid, a timed jumping puzzle, a really tedious wine tasting competition, a haunted mansion, a long path where you kind of think you can hear footsteps slightly out of sink with yours but when you stop you cant hear them any more for some reason, a little wooden hut with a large spinning blade filling up the way out, Sepheroth from kingddom hearts, a game of pong with a really cleaver computer, a yo mama so fat joke contest with GLados.
Anybody capable of getting through all those events in a line would be allowed in my castle. Not that I have a castle, but if I did those would definitely be the security measures I would include. Gods I am childish for taking part in this, although I am a child so I guess that is alright.
Forts are expensive. I'd just convert my garage into a centre of opperations.
Get a couple of table tennis tables and stick them together,
Hang 1 low hanging light from the ceiling, just above the table,
Put a massive map of the local area on the tables,
Put some army men and some cars on the map,
cut the bristles off an old fashioned wooden broom to push the cars with...
and your done! One cheap and cheerful centre of operations!
EDIT: Anyone who can guess who I stole this idea off of wins a cookie
Get a couple of table tennis tables and stick them together,
Hang 1 low hanging light from the ceiling, just above the table,
Put a massive map of the local area on the tables,
Put some army men and some cars on the map,
cut the bristles off an old fashioned wooden broom to push the cars with...
and your done! One cheap and cheerful centre of operations!
EDIT: Anyone who can guess who I stole this idea off of wins a cookie
My extremely Average fort. [http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=30512&id=1457506265&l=8b4ecd12e0]
You can go ahead and bow to my awesome now.
You can go ahead and bow to my awesome now.
In big boxes, but there will be a hidden tunnel under one of the boxes which leads to an under ground fort which fire grenade launchers to anyone approaching.also if that fails and they find the secret tunnel the boxes explode all of them, and if they some how survive that there is lazers in the tunnel which you can't deactivate without my penis print, why my penis? because i'm not likely to be touch objects with my penis. Then I get my super mole army to dig to another area , cats to then set up boxes then we collapse the tunnel leading to the old base.
I'd have an underground fort. 1 mile under the arctic ocean, 5 miles off the coast of green land.
it gets detailed here.
The fort would have 7 levels and would be 1 cubic mile in total.
Level 1 would contain basic jobs for income from the outside world. Level 2 would contain executive offices, for the human element in controlling the factory. Level 3 would be a big greenhouse for food supply and water supply.. Level 4 would be entertainment. Level 5 would have houses. Level 6 would have generators for power. Level 7 would have the mainframe and my office. The mainframe is a computer that details everything.
Cameras will be placed everywhere. Security turrets will be placed secretly in the roof of every hallway. Security and maintenance will be placed on every level. Security is based on level 2, Maintenance on level 6.
There will be 5 ways in and out of the fort. 1 on level 1, 2, 3, 6, and 7. 2 and 7 are secret escape roots, a x mile long unmanned tube with 10 foot thick steel doors every 100 feet. level 2 would exit out of Europe, and level 7 out of japan. level 1 would enter and exit from Greenland. level 3 would be an air chamber/ a loading bay for animals, entering and exiting with level 1.
The routes will use high speed railways traveling at a x degree angle to get directly to the fort.
The exit for level 1 and 3 would be guarded by a 2 story arctic(pure white) castle. the castle would be completely sealed from the top and the exit would be 500 feet underneath the castle. The castle would have automated arctic turrets every 5 feet and a stainless steal gate spiked with barbed wire. On the barbed wire would have motion detectors. The castle will basically be a big hunk of metal on top of an elevator with a lot of guns on it.
now, how do you spell awesome?
it gets detailed here.
The fort would have 7 levels and would be 1 cubic mile in total.
Level 1 would contain basic jobs for income from the outside world. Level 2 would contain executive offices, for the human element in controlling the factory. Level 3 would be a big greenhouse for food supply and water supply.. Level 4 would be entertainment. Level 5 would have houses. Level 6 would have generators for power. Level 7 would have the mainframe and my office. The mainframe is a computer that details everything.
Cameras will be placed everywhere. Security turrets will be placed secretly in the roof of every hallway. Security and maintenance will be placed on every level. Security is based on level 2, Maintenance on level 6.
There will be 5 ways in and out of the fort. 1 on level 1, 2, 3, 6, and 7. 2 and 7 are secret escape roots, a x mile long unmanned tube with 10 foot thick steel doors every 100 feet. level 2 would exit out of Europe, and level 7 out of japan. level 1 would enter and exit from Greenland. level 3 would be an air chamber/ a loading bay for animals, entering and exiting with level 1.
The routes will use high speed railways traveling at a x degree angle to get directly to the fort.
The exit for level 1 and 3 would be guarded by a 2 story arctic(pure white) castle. the castle would be completely sealed from the top and the exit would be 500 feet underneath the castle. The castle would have automated arctic turrets every 5 feet and a stainless steal gate spiked with barbed wire. On the barbed wire would have motion detectors. The castle will basically be a big hunk of metal on top of an elevator with a lot of guns on it.
now, how do you spell awesome?
Well, it's true that cans are great for snowballs but styrofoam has never failed me before. Here's an idea. Try getting styrofoam and give it can-plating. That will give you great snowball and styrofoam defense.Deleric said:
This has been a Martha Stew- I mean, War Penguin production.
[small]War Penguin was filmed in front of a live studio audience[/small]
Imagine if you will thick walls of snow 50 feet high. Beyond them lies the cardboard keep, buttressed by dining room chairs with soda can spires the reach through the clouds. The ceiling is reinforced blankets for comfort, and to deflect aerial attacks. Guarded by an undead Mr. Rodgers, a feral Barney, riding on Thomas the Tank Engine. With the cast of Sesame Street holding the gate. Everyone know not to approach the "No Adlts Alowed" fortress.
My fort would be so awesome, it would be 2 forts. One would be staffed by a construction company, in a concrete fort, and the other would be a destruction company, housed in an old wooden fort. They'll be connected by a covered bridge and some sewers.
And I'll call it: 2fort.
And I'll call it: 2fort.
