Your Pure Awesome Fort?

[BillNyeTheColonelGuy]

Self: Construct fort out of table, cinderblocks and machine gun turrets.

 

[jobobob]

I would have a bunch of: pillows, sheets, and chairs stacked up with a no girls sign.

 

[Alpha Centauri]

My fort would be among the stars and planets of the Milky Way

 

[GrinningManiac]

Count dracula's spindly-castle-on-spindly-crag, but in Monument Valley, with all my mates, and lots of weapons.

Then, I'd rountinley call in a zombie hord ammounting to the population of Asia to try and et close enought to climb the rocks and storm the castle.

Oh, and I'd have a helicopter gunship on the roof, in case things go bad.

And every game on earth, in case things go boring for a while

And the Big Screen from Strangelove, just because

 

[ZomgSharkz]

Mine would be a small unassuming house next to a massive incredi-craptacular-izing mega-fun-freaking-gun-shitting-monstrosity of an untold caliber of pure brain defying, galaxy shaking, universe snapping absolute genius that can break the minds of any mortal man stupid enough to try to comprehend it's sheer God damn FORT-itude. Forged from the bones of the last Megadelopasaur, and with a dark matter phase inducing crystalline wormhole matrix containing the power of 10,000 black holes powering it's titanic implosion mind bending twenty story tall cannons that consume an entire sun to fire a single shot, it will be a fortress of such depth and complexity that none can even look upon it without seeing the angry eyes of God himself!

Guess where they'll be focusing all their attention. Bwhaha.

 

[Teh_Lemon]

Pfft, while you guys are playing with your toy tanks and forts and whatnots, I'll be watching all of you.

From my LABYRINTH.

 

[wewontdie11]

My fort would be manned by 400 clones of Paris Hilton, yeah i'd like to see any of you wanabe mercs get close enough to my Doom Fortress of "thats so hot" with her waiting for a fucking chit chat with you.

Cos your so hot!, oh my god, your wearing camo?.. that is soooo in this season!

I'd obliterate your fort in the most gruesome way possible then leave you and force you to make more Paris Hiltons to kill.

Mine would be made from 6 pillows and my impenetrable duvet.

 

[Soulgaunt]

Spoiler

I reckon that anybody who gets through the stuff on this list or even finishes reading this list without quitting out of sheer boredom deserves entrance into my castle, here is the challenges-

A woodland of bloodsuckers, a pint drinking contest with some gross fat guy, a omega pirate in a arena, a shopping mall guarded by laughing octopus, a maze 2 miles wide, a minefield, an assault coarse, a valley guarded by the salamander from lost planet demo, a door where the key is on the other side, a slippery ledge a bit taller then you can jump, a half hour long quick time event, a hall of mirrors with a tiny secret button indistinguishable from regular panels, a desert with strong bloom effect in order to blind you, a wall made of really smelly cheese, a door with push written on it when in fact you must pull, a really unreasonable target practice event, a supreme hunter, a really damn angry dog, a mildly creepy man and you must fish around in his pocket in order to find a key while he makes pretend sex noises in order to deter you, a lock where you must turn the key in time with an increaseingly frantic tune, ravenholm, a hole only large enough to allow a mouse, a corridor filled with microwaves, a hospital roof where you must defend it for ten minuets while infected assault you, a really quite uncomfortable heli copter ride where the seats are just a little bit wonky, a poetry contest, a phone call to your mother, a five part vidio of break dancing, an enraged bear, a path made of white hot beams of metal, a rubix cube, a ring fight with Arnold Schwarzenegger, a swim in acid, a timed jumping puzzle, a really tedious wine tasting competition, a haunted mansion, a long path where you kind of think you can hear footsteps slightly out of sink with yours but when you stop you cant hear them any more for some reason, a little wooden hut with a large spinning blade filling up the way out, Sepheroth from kingddom hearts, a game of pong with a really cleaver computer, a yo mama so fat joke contest with GLados.

Anybody capable of getting through all those events in a line would be allowed in my castle. Not that I have a castle, but if I did those would definitely be the security measures I would include. Gods I am childish for taking part in this, although I am a child so I guess that is alright.

Those are the greatest ideas ever! I have to be your second in command! I'll bring an infinite army of fluffy scorpions!

 

[Spacelord]

The Walls would be made of Barret .50 cal rifles strapped together by barbed wire, and I would have a moat with robotic alligators made of gatling guns. The bridge would be made of swords, chainsaws, and various shards of glass and other sharp shrapnel. Outside the walls would be landmines that fire lasers and magma when stepped on. My AA turrets would fire other AA turrets which would then fire at any airbourne threats as they fly through the air. And I would be in power armor. I would carry a Fat Man that fires mega nukes instead of mini nukes (Fallout 3 Fat Man. No, im not carrying around a large male with me) and a lightsaber where the saber is made of lava.

you know, I was going to describe the most badass hypothetical fortress ever, but you kinda stole my thunder there, chief.

Anyway, yeah. I'll have what he's having.

 

[PhantomCritic]

Mine would be on a secret island in the middle of the sea in the shape of a hand giving the middle-finger with approximately 1200 TF2 Heavyweapon guys manning the front, several man-bear-pigs and Matt Damons at the door and inside would be my heavy artilary of self-exploding George Cloneys and self-indulgent kangaroos with built in laser eyes. Oh yes, I would also have my own mini-gun, I don't want to make a mess on the carpet after all.

 

[TheSentinel]

An old Army Base.

Filled With Zombies.

Zombies with guns.

And tanks.

And helicopters.

And chainguns.

And Flamethrowers.

 

[Jaqen Hghar]

My fort is awesome because it is so hard to locate. It has been shrunk down so much it can slip inside atoms, between the electrons and protons. Not sure if I got that right, but it is super tiny. So it is currently somewhere inside one of the oxygen molecules here on Earth. Yeah, you try to find it.
It also has a forcefield so it cannot be harmed. I got a DNA and memory-pattern locked ring which can teleport me into the fortress and back. Beat that!

Oh, and if you want to know how I can use this fort to my advantage... I can move inside your body and destroy it one cell at a time! BWAHAHAHA!

 

[Computer-Noob]

Mines made out of pillows and I made it last week

AHA! I made mine YESTERDAY! My fort building skills are VASTLY superior. I win

 

[keybird]

A box with a big "Fort Awesome" flag.

Damn that was going to be mine

 

[Icedshot]

my ice fortress in DF, including an ice furnace (and about a billion traps)

 

[Haliwali]

1Fort, 2Fort.
Red Fort, Blu Fort

 

[UnkeptBiscuit]

Why on earth would I need a fort?

For the ninjas.

 

[mrpenguinismyhomeboy]

Why do I need a fort?

Cause otherwise they'll get you.

 

[Berethond]

http://www.innertraveler.com/Collections/ArtistThumbnails/BlackGate_jordanS.jpg

HAHAHAHAHAHA.
I win.