Your Villianous Monlogue!

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mrhappyface

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Jul 25, 2009
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The heroes have defeated your minions, vanquished your bosses, and destroyed all your images and used them as toilet paper. However, as they burst into your throne room, they stare in rapture at your magnificence, and unable to raise their arms to kill you on the spot, you deliver your monologue!
Now what do you say? A brooding and repetitive speech on the true nature of man, a reveal about your tragic past, or just an awesome one liner?
 

photog212

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Oct 27, 2008
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I laugh as I arm the thermonuclear device that will destroy the protagonist. Ala predator.
 

Erana

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Feb 28, 2008
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"Kill me, and everyone dies. I made it so; you know I have the power."

I wouldn't really have done anything like that, but it would really mess with the head of a good protagonist. If I had the chance, I would merely billow my cape and walk off majestically, to rebuild my empire elsewhere.
Probably with zombies, or ninjas, or aliens...
 

troth

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Jun 8, 2009
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Me: Do you have a gas mask?

Hero: No.

Me: Good. *Hits mustard gas button while donning mask*

Me: Suckiittttt! *****.
 

Kruxxor

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Jan 18, 2009
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I would say nothing and strike down the intruder/s where they stood. Because I'm THAT badass.
 

S.R.S.

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Nov 3, 2009
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photog212 said:
I laugh as I arm the thermonuclear device that will destroy the protagonist. Ala predator.
I take offense to that. We only do that as a last resort.

I'm more of an "introduction" kind of villian:

"Did you ever have a nightmare about a large man who killed you parents, and your siblings, and then your lover, and then everyone you know? And then burned your house down and destroyed everything precious you ever conceived of?

...that was ME".
 

El Poncho

Techno Hippy will eat your soul!
May 21, 2009
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We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
 

Gabanuka

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Oct 1, 2009
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Good evening Mr Bond I've been expecting you, try as you may you will not stop my plan to set fire to the sun! Now the time has come or you to die. *shoots him in the head*
 

HT_Black

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May 1, 2009
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Fools! Why do you antagonize me so? Do you believe you act for the betterment of mankind? Have you slain my kindred, my countrymen, my friends in the name of justice? Did you lay waste to my cities and armies, leaving countless lives lost and shattered, for your outdated morals? You think that because I seek to topple your governemnt, I am inherantly evil? Do you think I am somehow different from you? I am not! We are all the same, beneath our skins: we are humans, creatures born of the earth and given life in some divine occurence! I am not villanous by virtue of being unsatisfied with my life!

*walks to edge of room, leans on balcony rail. City beyond is on fire, there is lots of screaming.*

Do you see what your crusade has wrought? Do you see my city in flames as my people die? Can you not hear the wailing of the infants, the cries of the women, the tortured pleas of the dying? Can you hear it? They are calling my name! They believe that I, their king and sworn defender, will come to their rescue! And it is because of you, and your self-righteous quest for vengance, that I cannot! It is becasue of you that my world is burning!

*Whips around, fist clenched in rage*

What you have done is worse than any of my transgressions! What have I done to you? I slew three men and toppled your government, but you have murdered thousands of innocent people! I sought to free your kind from the shackles of your leaders! I killed your king and his right hand, and your propagandist general-- and what did you do? You took up arms against your emancipator! I sought to abolish lying and villany within your world, but you can't do without them! My lands are not perfect, I will be the first to admit, but here we are not criminals, shysters, and cheaters! We are but men here; unbridled humans, who act as fits their nature, and for that reason we are better than your petty monarchy. Where you come from, human nature is a thing to be decided by "monetary values" and "acceptable social norms"; you infringe upon your own lives!

*Hero walks up to me, wraps hand around my throat, goes on about how I'll be made to answer for my crimes in the court of law, etc.*

No...I am sorry, my misguided foe, but I will never submit to your system. There will never be a day when I will don your king's collar and submit to his will; I will never give myself over to the masses; and I will never ever go back on that which I stand for.

*Grabs hero's wrists*

Today, we go into oblivion TOGETHER!

*Pitches of balcony, pulling hero along for the ride*

THE END.

...Might as well go out with a bang, right?
 

Shockolate

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Feb 27, 2010
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"Why can't you understand. I am NOT the bad guy here. You come all this way looking to destroy a monster who has killed thousands who got in his way. But there IS a reason. You people are afraid. You are weak. You do not want to do what needs to be done. You don't fight back in the way that needs to be done. Daemons, child. Daemons, beasts, creatures and another world, who seek to destroy ours through brutality and fear."

"But I am something more. I wield a power that no human possibly could. Because I am not human. I was born a humanoid, but wear your race's guise simply because you found me first. I imprinted on you, you see. The first man who found me had part of his DNA transfered to my body. It was as if I was his son. He raised me on his culture, his language, his beliefs. That man was a warrior, who first taught me the very basics of fighting. But later on, I would come across another warrior. A Daemon."

"A disgraced fiend, he showed me how they do things. One culture meets another, and becomes something twisted. As a continued through my adulthood, I discovered my origins kept secret from me. I also learned of my capabilities. I was thought of as a fallen prodigy, a genius who understood any and everything infront of him. Any skill mastered, and every thought considering a thousand different things at once. But, after the incident, I was left without a home and only a daemon as a companion."

"As I became a warrior myself, I understood the way the Daemons work. Fear, Child. Fear was a powerful weapon. And with it, you can control you enemies. They won't make a move if they know what is waiting for them. And once I discovered my power, I could easily make things the way I wanted them to be. I became a monster. I was savage, brutal, merciless, relentless. Inhuman strength, speed, skill, and intelligence, I became something even they feared. I drove them from our world, rescued my people, and made this world safe. But you decided I was to dangerous to keep off the leash."

"They never knew what I did. I always kept it secret from them, as a failsafe for such an occasion. You thought me a mindless butcher, immortal, and bloodthirsty. This was a facade. I have the knowledge of something you could never comprehend. The Warp. I understand it, I use it, I AM it. I learned that I was seemingly resistant to it's influence and a conduit to its power. With it, I could revert you into primordial ooze, raze countries in unnatural fires, and destroy this world in the blink of an eye. But I have no ill will towards your kind. You do what you do because you think it would benefit your world, and I respect that. I am not a being without honour and pride. But you are mistaken. In my absence, you have been indoctrinated by the very beings you have come to hate, who you drove away as you stood by my side! They are the most powerful people in the world. They control everything. And it is time I right this wrong. They took over, and as I return, they challenge me once more? Then I accept. I will be fast. I will be strong. I will be terrifying! I am the shadow warrior. I am the savage blade. I have destroyed Gods in my wake. I AM *blank* AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING I'M NOT CAPABLE OF!"

For those who are wondering what the fuck this is, it's a monologue I wrote on the spot based on a story that's been swimming around in my head for years that I've been too lazy to actually write down. While I said I wrote in on the spot, I kind of already had it all planned out, I just used this post to actually write it down. If you're wondering about the *blank* at the end (I know you are), that is because I never decided on a name for said character.It is heavily based off Warhammer (if the part about the Warp didn't tip you off) and I'm feeling more and more that I should actually continue writing it. Thoughts?
 

TriggerHappyAngel

Self-Important Angler Fish
Feb 17, 2010
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ME: What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen European Swallow?

HERO: huh? i don't know!

ME: *throws the Hero into a bottomless pit*
 

MazzaTheFirst

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Jul 1, 2009
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"Let me see, I could either shoot you all here and now and be done with it, or tell you my entire life story and master plans allowing you to undo the damage I have done.

When I was a boy..."

Alternatively:

"So you think you can outsmart me? Maybe... Maybe... But I have yet to see you outsmart bullet."
*Mini-gun revving*