You've just become emperor of the world. What's your first decree?

[SultanP]

That people under 18 who write and record music will be punished. Severely. Possibly by death.

Dude I kind of hate you, I mean do you really think that the Justin Biebers of the world are going to reach voting age and you will suddenly appreciate their sound. Are you implying that people under 18 don't need to practice their skills in order to improve, in order to aspire to greater things. Can you really put an age limit on a poetic license? Every musician you enjoy started before they were 18, it just takes longer to perfect a sound when you don't run it through the auto-tuner. Unless their are no musicians that you like then I probably do hate you.

There are plenty of musicians that I love. And I'm sure a lot of them didn't start recording music that the public had to listen to before they turned 18. Really, the "law" spawned from the children's Eurovision, and me being forced to listen to their ridiculous music by having to be in the vicinity of people who listen to the music that comes out of that horrid place. It wasn't helped by how easy it is for people to write some trite soulless ear junk, and get a record deal for it. I try to avoid that stuff the best that I can, but I still know far too many pop and rap songs released by kids singing about stuff they don't know shit about.

Really, when it all comes down to it, I think I'd rather get rid of all the children who start recording music that gets produced, and the adult artists who started too soon. Just so I wouldn't have to listen to another squeaky voiced child sing about women to a hip-hop or pop track. But the law isn't retroactive, so I'd still be able to enjoy bands like The Who, and all the other great musicians from the past, who by far surpass anything out today, in my opinion, of course.

Edit: In short, they can practice all they want until 18, or thereabout, as long as they don't record it and get it produced so people like me get assaulted with it.

 

[Skeleton Jelly]

In all seriousness. Just my beliefs, every religious person, shall forcibly moved to Australia and the surrounding islands. Australians will be forcibly moved to other country and will receive compensation. The Religious people will become their own nation and need to survive on their own. I will not rule over them.

They will most likely just end up killing each other anyways.

 

[Shoqiyqa]

I'd introduce an 18-year age of consent for religious indoctrination.

 

[BoxCutter]

That gay marriage is legal everywhere, and that all gays currently in Civil Unions are officially married.

I am late to the party but I would likely do this as well, equal right for all is essential in my books.

Man would this be a tough job.

 

[Lazier Than Thou]

My first decree as Emperor of the World is to step down as Emperor of the World. Man should be free, and not beholden to an Emperor.

Wait, no, the second. The first would be that the hottest 12 women in the world would be married to me forever and would be forced under penalty of law to put out in a timely fashion and as frequent as I want. Yeah, that sounds awesome.

 

[hyrulegaybar]

My first decree is to tax every last damn religion out there. What about you?

Wow, putting taxes on non-profit organisations too? What about all the churches etc. out there that have leaders or whatever with day jobs, you know, for the 6 days a week they aren't talking to people in a congregation? That sort of organisation shouldn't be taxed. You are an evil little man, you know that?

At 6'3" I'm not all that little. And I don't think it's evil to expect a business to be taxed like a business. They'll find a way to pay their leaders if they're taxed, believe me.

 

[hyrulegaybar]

Ban every musical genre other than metal and screamo. This way we have less gangster fuckheads, wannabe gangster fuckheads, and preppy annoying 13 year old Justin Beaver fans (I would also legally change Justin Beiber's name to Justin Beaver and then proceed to lock him away for life with Lady GayGay and any other Pop, Rap, Hiphop, R&B, Country and Pop-Rock singer or band).

I believe the world in my image would be a better world in general.

Lady GayGay! How original and homophobic. Knock that shit off.

 

[Th37thTrump3t]

Ban every musical genre other than metal and screamo. This way we have less gangster fuckheads, wannabe gangster fuckheads, and preppy annoying 13 year old Justin Beaver fans (I would also legally change Justin Beiber's name to Justin Beaver and then proceed to lock him away for life with Lady GayGay and any other Pop, Rap, Hiphop, R&B, Country and Pop-Rock singer or band).

I believe the world in my image would be a better world in general.

Lady GayGay! How original and homophobic. Knock that shit off.

Would you rather Lady GuyGuy?

 

[hyrulegaybar]

Ban every musical genre other than metal and screamo. This way we have less gangster fuckheads, wannabe gangster fuckheads, and preppy annoying 13 year old Justin Beaver fans (I would also legally change Justin Beiber's name to Justin Beaver and then proceed to lock him away for life with Lady GayGay and any other Pop, Rap, Hiphop, R&B, Country and Pop-Rock singer or band).

I believe the world in my image would be a better world in general.

Lady GayGay! How original and homophobic. Knock that shit off.

Would you rather Lady GuyGuy?

I would rather you just get out of my thread with that crap, thanks. I'm not a Lady Gaga fan, but it's childish to resort to homophobic taunts especially when the thread ringleader is gay.

 

[Cabisco]

I guess my first decrees would be all civilised etc so I'll skip ahead to my first slightly crazy decree.

Detonate a load of nukes in space to make the ultimate fire works display, also if possible take out a chunk of the moon in the process.

 

[liveslowdiefast]

Simple, kill all gingers! Or insted make a effiel tower out of meraunge! either is good!

 

[Steppin Razor]

I would demand:

Spoiler

[HEADING=1]CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES![/HEADING]

 

[teisjm]

1st. decree
As of this day, the emperor of the world commands that he shall no longer be reffered to as the emperor of the world, but as The God Emperor of Mankind.

 

[tehroc]

Take all the money from the rich, equalize the populace and focus it all towards space exploration.

do that and watch the money go right back to the same before you did that.

Corruption in my society would equate to the death sentence. Anyone who put personal greed over the good of the society would be a treasonous act and always punishable under the death penalty.

 

[Offworlder_v1legacy]

Declare war against the spider, vanquish all stupid 'religions' and make gaming part of the olympics. (yeah that's three things but whatever)

 

[hannan4mitch]

Mandatory higher education. If you can go, you will go. And you will graduate.

This sort of thinking is perilous to us, it does more harm than good. To prove it, I ask a simple question.

How many of those Higher Education Graduates are going to want to work at burger king? or Which of them will be unfortunate enough to have spent years of their life getting a degree only to be given the job of Sanitation. You know, refuse labour, garbage skips and sewage work. Who would work retail if they have a degree in a higher skill set?

Remember the first three words? IF YOU CAN. If you didn't get high enough grades, if you drop out, etc. you can work the lower end jobs.

 

[Th37thTrump3t]

Ban every musical genre other than metal and screamo. This way we have less gangster fuckheads, wannabe gangster fuckheads, and preppy annoying 13 year old Justin Beaver fans (I would also legally change Justin Beiber's name to Justin Beaver and then proceed to lock him away for life with Lady GayGay and any other Pop, Rap, Hiphop, R&B, Country and Pop-Rock singer or band).

I believe the world in my image would be a better world in general.

Lady GayGay! How original and homophobic. Knock that shit off.

Would you rather Lady GuyGuy?

I would rather you just get out of my thread with that crap, thanks. I'm not a Lady Gaga fan, but it's childish to resort to homophobic taunts especially when the thread ringleader is gay.

I was not aware that you were gay...

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

Get me a doughnut.

 

[tehbeard]

Hand out guns to monkeys.

I would then pour the money not being spent on global military (Cost for global military upkeep < Costs for all current militaries, it's basic economics of scale) into two scientific endevours.

1) Creation of an Ad-hoc portal device.
2) Space exploration.

Edit: Damm did not think of this, and tl;dr so sorry if already said but...

Make it legal to kick Kotick in the balls.