Zero Punctuation: Eve Online

[GaryH]

Multiplayer does not mean cooperation.

But EVE is designed to favour cooperation. A person foolish enough to play alone against people who cooperate is doomed to fail.

Solo PVP (one player against another) is simple and boring; target, activate weapons and wait until one person dies. However the game is geared around team play; small, fast ships to fly in and tackle the larger ones to hold them still and cripple their targeting systems and weapons, bigger ships to do the bulk of the damage, support ships to repair damage and recharge shields. It's essentially the MMO holy trinity of archetypes with fancy names. The only difference is that in EVE, the support ship is a support ship and nothing else; you need a friend in a bigger ship to do damage and that friend is a huge target and so needs some other help to make sure that the target doesn't actually hit him in the first place.

In EVE, a group of relatively new players in cheap frigates can band together and take down an experienced player in a big, hulking battleship if they use the right set up and tactics. EVE is a game ABOUT teamwork and cooperation; if you only play it in single player, never join a corp and never leave secure space then yes; it is everything that yahtzee described. If you play it how Yahtzee played it then I'm not surprised that you didn't enjoy it, but you missed out on some of the deepest and most engaging multiplayer gameplay available.

It's not perfect though, I'll admit. The UI is clunky, the game has it's bugs and imbalances, it's nigh impossible for new players to get past the learning curve nowadays and the developers frequently make some questionable judgements regarding rebalancing and general patches. Including recently changing a gorgeous looking and extremely popular ship model to a hideous and bland one for no reason whatsoever, out of nowhere; upsetting half the player base in the process... WHY!?.

I just find it weird how I simultaneously agree AND disagree with this review.

 

[Nadsat]

But, there is a deeper reason. As I stated before EVE players are pretty fond of our game because it is so unique in the MMO world. I believe the fans and the critics can both agree with this.

Ummm, didn't Yatzee just say it wasn't?

 

[PegasusJF]

But, there is a deeper reason. As I stated before EVE players are pretty fond of our game because it is so unique in the MMO world. I believe the fans and the critics can both agree with this.

Ummm, didn't Yatzee just say it wasn't?

Well, I guess there are exceptions. I can give you a list of reasons if you what, but I think just one will suffice. You can conquer, hold, utilize resources, and improve (as in building permanent structures in the game) star systems. EVE is alone or among a elite few there.

But also, when I say critic I mean people who actually have seen all facets to make a fully informed opinion.

Yahtzee clearly has not, and from what I have gathered from your previous rant, neither have you.

 

[Azhrarn-101]

I've not seen the review yet but I'm pretty sure eve came before Wow...? did it? honestly i might be confuzzling it with everquest or something.
Anyway i personally went from wow to eve because three (useless) years of WoW left me wanting something deeper, and i think eve is by far a better game.
Of course my stance is fairly rare, and not everyone feels the same way about mmorpgs as i do (i challenge u to find another who is just over fighting) but of all the mmorpgs i've tried eve is definatly the best. Doesn't mean it's a good thing...

EVE had its fifth birthday this year (not counting the beta), so yes it is a good deal older than WoW.

 

[Yahtzee Croshaw]

tried the game once. After about three or four hours I was simply bored to death and quit the game with about the same conclusion as Yahtzee: This game manages to make outer space boring. Quite an achievement, in my opinion.
The unintuitive interface results in a tutorial that's just ridiculously long and at the point that the combat got explained I simply asked myself how this game is any different from the tons of other MMOs out there.
EVE feels to me more like those MMO browser games than anything else. If it wasn't for selecting an enemy and pressing number keys every now and then, I could just choose the skill I want to develop and leave the game for the next three days. I don't like those browser games and I don't like EVE for the same reason. I want to play the game in order for my character to get better, not just wait it out. Sadly, otherwise EVE is the typical MMO. So, if I actually feel the need to play an MMO, I play a different one than EVE. One that actually rewards me for playing.

 

[Fools Paradise]

[bitter nerd rage directed at eve players]

tl;dr - Judgement was accurate. Should really have tried being part of a corp. God, EVE players are dicks.

I'm sorry you lost your ship the first time you went into low sec, told said PvPer exactly how you felt in this in eve mail/local/the forums, got mocked for it by everyone and then rage quit eve.

 

[Nadsat]

Yahtzee clearly has not, and from what I have gathered from your previous rant, neither have you.

Elaborate, please. Use that superior EVE-playing intellect to mentally destroy me, I beg of you

 

[Fools Paradise]

Yahtzee clearly has not, and from what I have gathered from your previous rant, neither have you.

Elaborate, please. Use that superior EVE-playing intellect to mentally destroy me, I beg of you

re, your last post and this one come to think of it, and tbh it probably applies to a lot of people in this thread.

Posting in the style of Yahtzee in one of his threads just makes you look pathetic.

 

[Syaoran05]

You know...I think a better MMO for the space scene is SpaceCowboys/Flysis/AirRivals. There's too much to even explain about that game in a post that I feel like typing this early in the morning. But it totally rocks and it's free.

 

[Sir_Substance]

Yahtzee clearly has not, and from what I have gathered from your previous rant, neither have you.

Elaborate, please. Use that superior EVE-playing intellect to mentally destroy me, I beg of you

given that's the best you can muster, i think he probably has.

 

[Uncompetative]

I think there is a big difference between 'interesting' and 'fun'.

 

[Khazoth]

This thread is still going? I've got to say Eve has one of the worst communities I've seen in an MMORPG, and that says something. Its like they believe that Eve is so wonderful, such a gift from the gods if you don't like it you are some kind of sub-human experiment that shouldn't be allowed out of your house.. Oddly enough that sums up how everyone else thinks of Eve Players.

If you really don't get why people hate Eve its simple, the game is so complicated and downright hostile to new players.. The people behind the game hired an economic professional.. FOR THE GAME WORLD.. The game requires a degree in spreadsheets and a love for math. So the fact is you either hate it or you love it, there is no middle ground with Eve because the game is so BORING to most of us.

 

[nastykerm]

This thread is still going? I've got to say Eve has one of the worst communities I've seen in an MMORPG, and that says something. Its like they believe that Eve is so wonderful, such a gift from the gods if you don't like it you are some kind of sub-human experiment that shouldn't be allowed out of your house.. Oddly enough that sums up how everyone else thinks of Eve Players.

For some reaosn I think your experience with EVE is highly limited. Let me guess, you tried the trial for a few hours then quit?

In any case, your post describes idiotic players in general, not just EVE players as you can clearly see who the abusive ones are in this thread. Its the non-EVE players that lowers the combined IQ in this thread.

 

[bigwillystyles]

I quit some time ago but I played eve for a while and I have some comments. Alarm bells rang in this review when you said you wouldn't be joining any player corporations. If you are not doing this or engaging in pvp then you absolutely have not played the part of the game that is unique. The huge population of high sec dwelling mission runners are just lemmings who really want to play WOW in space. The real fun is that in low sec and 0.0, you can do whatever you want, the stronger and more intelligent party are always the victors. Onto skills, there are a certain few skills that are pretty necessary to be effective but really it's not the point of the game to get your character as high level as possible. What you learn when you are a really high level character is that it often doesn't mean all that much. New characters with superior numbers and tactics will beat clumsy old characters. There are giant corporations (Goonswarm etc) that made themselves large from using swarms of new players to overwhelm stronger enemies.

I don't think much of this review, as you really havn't explored anything of the game.

 

[Yvressian]

Played Eve for two days and gave up. It's got a learning curve steeper than K2. And I ain't gots no hiking boots. Just seems like the developers were so smug but ended up proverbiably shooting themselves in the foot by making a game that instantly turns off people who cannot devote themselves completely to their oh-so-complicated game.

 

[jodertio]

anyone want to hire kugutsumen for some "speacial job" ^^

 

[wardingo]

keep it up dude! What i love about ZP is that they all have the same HIGH level of humor.
not one is lower than any other video, keep it up yahtzee!

 

[Stabby Joe]

Wow, he was right! An EVE advert flickered in the corner of my eye throughout watching this review...

...a good review BTW...

 

[Tranka Verrane]

Wow there's a lot of posts on this one already. Sorry but I'm not gonna read 11 pages of 'Eve sucks' 'No it doesn't' 'Yes it does'. Since I have an Eve blog, however, here is my review of the review. I apologise in advance for raking over old ground, if that is what it does:

Despite not owning a console I watch the reviews by ZP each week (in much the same way as I watch Top Gear despite not having a car) and was suprised and delighted this week to find that he was reviewing my dear favourite Eve.

In the way of such things I should offer a riposte to the review as a hardcore fan:

Right at the outset ZP states he isn't going to have anything to do with corporations. Well, OK. That being, kind of, uh, the point of Eve, you may as well stop here. That's like stating you're going to review WOW but you don't want to have anything to do with any of that magic palaver.

Cue lots of jokes about overweight bespectacled smelly whiny nerds. Erm. I don't think I fall into any of those categories, but the only other person I know in the real world who plays Eve does, so it makes me wonder... Well, he isn't whiny, but I kind of am at times, so I guess we make a set.

Bored, bored, bored, eyestrain. As a summary of Eve it leaves out a lot, but I can accept it. I certainly find myself bored a lot, and were it not for the fact of the timebased training system I would probbaly have quit. However that means you hang in there waiting for some interesting expansion that is always just around the corner because then you will be so much more uber than the newbies who have just been pulled in, haha. Fortunately usually you end up making something interesting to do yourself, this being a sandbox, and you having the benefit of YOUR CORPORATION.

Then there is the 'I don't understand it so it's rubbish' argument. Er, no. I don't think I even need to point out the flaw in this one.

Zp next complains that battles are of the 'fight till you look like you're going to lose then try to run away' variety. Erm. Isn't that true of all battles? Not just in gaming, but in the real world too. That's rather like complaining that when you played this game you still needed oxygen.

The training system; yes, it isn't perfect. I would like something that increased with how much you played the game. Oh wait a minute, there is. The more you play the game the more you understand it, something that isn't necessary in WOW and the like because you understand them after about three hours. Plus you get money and better social standing with NPC's, which pays off in its own ways too.

'Missions are all just variations on go here and shoot things'. Well, yes. I'll give you that one. I would like to see more complexity in missions but as they are just one of the million things you can do and mainly aimed at casual players it doesn't really concern me too much.

Ultimately I think you missed the point of Eve, ZP, because you failed to understand what a corporation is. If you think that it means you get given a cubicle and are told to sort beans till we get back to you you are imposing wow-like grind onto the terminology of Eve and making two plus two equal 3.

I hate this particular piece of terminology, but there is an apt two-word summary for this review.

ZP: Epic Fail.

 

[Tranka Verrane]

I played this game for 30 mins and then uninstalled it. Very spot-on review

ROFLMAO.

How would you know? 30 minutes!!! FFS.