Zombie Informed Survival Test (Z.I.S.T.)

[TheLiham]

1. Barricade the possible entrances, grab a crowbar or something like that, If there's petrol then throw a few cans outside then splash another can over the cans outside, wait until the zombies close in and light the petrol (if indeed there is petrol) and hold my position with the crowbar and assorted other tools until safe or dead.

2. Pick up the girl, cook and throw the grenade and run to the safe house while the policeman covers our six.

3. If my companion is too far away then shoot him in the head and spare him the pain of being omnomnom'd alive. If he's close enough to be saved safely, then I'd help him up with one hand while shooting my last round at the zombies legs to slow them down then run like fuck to the helicopter.

 

[nuba km]

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F, I think you can figure out why you got this mark you can keep your B if you want.

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B, (a lot of people are getting B's) realistic approach but again lost point due to to strong morals.

 

[shootthebandit]

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F, I think you can figure out why you got this mark you can keep your B if you want.

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B, (a lot of people are getting B's) realistic approach but again lost point due to to strong morals.

i must be the first F, woop

i cant believe i didnt get some recognition for the pole vault.

 

[Loki Cain]

i think that in 3 your dead no matter what unless you are an Olympic runner yourslef

in 2 its a long shot, depending on the size of the horde even if I kill the officer it will only distract so many zombies and his club is kinda useless its too short you have to get too close to the zombies. even with the grenade it will only kill so many zombies. The little girl is just slowing you down so to even have a chance in hell to get away she must be left behind and its likely the officer wont have that. So really your left with two choices run or hide. So i think that hiding is your best chance so you have to leave someone to detract the zombies So stab the officer, hide and hope for the best.

 

[MGlBlaze]

1) I'm probably screwed.
Assuming they will break in;
I try and form the shelves into crating a bottleneck that will force the zombies into a concentrated stream; preferably one by one, but anything as long as the numbers are manageable. The store will likely be stocked with some things I could use as improvised weapons; I could take a hammer (just an ordinary hammer), something to use as a spike, a moderately long pole and some strong straps and glue to make an improvised warhammer and start bashing in their skulls as they come at me. The increased range the pole affords should keep me in relative safety. I will also need to find something to cover myself to minimise the chance of infection from any blood splatter that may occur. A jumpsuit, plastic sheets I could strap to myself, goggles, anything. If it's a tough material and would be bite or cut resistant, all the better; makeshift armour would be very useful.
If there were some powered cutting implements I could also set them running along the floor and makeshift walls as a sort of killzone.
Assuming I need to get out;
Just go with the warhammer and covering myself. Kill the zombies that matter and get the hell away at the soonest opportunity. If there's anything flammable I could use to burn the zombies, then I'll use it.
Alternatively I could mount a load of circular saw-blades to the pole to make a pretty nasty flanged mace type thing.

2)
Probably have adrenaline going through us right now because of the incoming horde. Grab the girl and make a break for the safe-house. Kill the girl if she shows ANY signs of becoming one of them. Ask the police officer to notify me if he notices anything strange; do not trust him to be able to kill her when it becomes necessary. Do not tell him that I may kill her so he won't have motivation to try and hide it.
"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity"
Which weapon I have shouldn't matter, but the combat knife would be better if killing the kid became necessary. A knife also has more general utility.

3)
Again at this point we will both undoubtedly have a mass of adrenaline pumping through us and will as such be stronger, faster and tougher than normal. If need be run back and get him on his feet ASAP (should take literally 0.20 seconds or less to get on his feet, also shouldn't be necessary due to the aforementioned adrenaline. He probably wouldn't even notice the cut right now. it is very unlikely that he would need my help.) and get to the helicopter. Use the handgun to shoot the closest zombies. If needed, use any remaining bullets in the handgun and the rifle to keep the zombies away before take-off, but if the pilot is competent the take-off should be immediate.

 

[Arashiofordo3]

1. The entire place is a death trap. Priority 1 is to get out as soon as possible. The only problem is being the 200-300 stumblers outside, I'm assuming that they've taken to the front as thats where I entered from. First thing to do is gather any safety gear, anything which is thick enough to resist bites. secondly get to the roof and sealing the roof access behind me possibly by drawing up the ladder if its not fixed to the wall, attempting to draw as little attention as possible scout the hordes distribution taking notes of the points where they're thinest. If none are around the back lower the ladder down to the ground round the back and make a beak for it as stealthily as possible having also taken a melee weapon from the selection there (possibly a hammer or some other blunt trauma capable object, most likely to cave in the skull lest likely to get stuck in a corpse) if no escape rought is clear then the only other option is to remain on the roof until large proportion have left or gathered to one spot (possibly by luring them there) then while they're distracted make a break for it again as stealthily as possible.

a though occurs with this one, considering I'm out in the middle of nowhere and I've managed to run smack bang into the middle of 200-300 stumblers, what the hell was I doing in the first place to fail to notice the fucking army of the shambling dead.

2. Arm and drop/throw the grenade (depending on how close they are) behind me to take out the front of the hoard, the blast and impact will be enough to stumble the others nearest the front slowing the momentum of those behind the blast giving me more time to run. The officer will be dealing with the girl. If they make it good for them. My primary concern is getting through that door as fast as I can. The other option is if I have the knife stab the police man or slash his Achilles tendon, and leave him and the girl (unless I can confirm her as not infected and maybe keep her around as food should the need arise, all other cases she's nothing more then a burden) as a distraction. Once inside I can lament my wicked ways but otherwise, couldn't care.

3. The only winning answer is to leave them to their fate. then once the helicopter has taken off use the sniper rifle to end their life. Then I have a pistol with twenty bullets and a sniper rifle with four. I'm now better armed and outside the immediate danger zone.

 

[Zykon TheLich]

1. Find the chainsaw safety gear and put it on. Pick up any good mace like weapons for breaking bones. Head for the roof and hide. When they've all buggered off I climb down and leg it to find a better place to hide.

2. Eat the little girl, the zombies will mistake me for one of their own, shuffle off in my own good time.

3. Keep running, get in the helicopter and go, although if they haven't caught him by the time I get to the chopper and he might make it if I shoot a couple of them I'll do that.

 

[nuba km]

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you two draw for the best answer both of you think things through thoughtfully and logically. both of you value human lives without it putting you at risk. also Arashiofordo3 your comment about running into 200-300 shambling dead in middle of now where made me cough out lout (got cold cough when I laugh). both of you have a good grip of what you can and can't do. both of you will make excellent allies to however you meet in the zombie apocalypse and are some of our best hops to continue the human race encase of walking dead/ rabie mutant people. you get the bronze chuck norris of the zombie apocalypse trophy.

 

[nuba km]

1. Find the chainsaw safety gear and put it on. Pick up any good mace like weapons for breaking bones. Head for the roof and hide. When they've all buggered off I climb down and leg it to find a better place to hide.

2. Eat the little girl, the zombies will mistake me for one of their own, shuffle off in my own good time.

3. Keep running, get in the helicopter and go, although if they haven't caught him by the time I get to the chopper and he might make it if I shoot a couple of them I'll do that.

C, plans are not thought out enough and could easily get you killed (except for the last one).

 

[Zykon TheLich]

1. Find the chainsaw safety gear and put it on. Pick up any good mace like weapons for breaking bones. Head for the roof and hide. When they've all buggered off I climb down and leg it to find a better place to hide.

2. Eat the little girl, the zombies will mistake me for one of their own, shuffle off in my own good time.

3. Keep running, get in the helicopter and go, although if they haven't caught him by the time I get to the chopper and he might make it if I shoot a couple of them I'll do that.

C, plans are not thought out enough and could easily get you killed (except for the last one).

Unlikely, seeing as they are all going to be under my control anyways, I'm just toying around with the roleplaying element for the fun of it.

 

[woots7]

1.get all the flammable things i can in the store,put them around the door, douse them in petrol then turn on all the lawn mowers to make a hell load of noise, then light my pile of flammable stuff doused in petrol , while all the 300-500 zombies are distracted by the massive fire and all of the noise i grab a chain saw, then smash the back door open and run like SHIT.

2.kill the girl with my pointy metal stick because she's probably infected then run like SHIT with the police officer stabbing any zombies who are getting close to us.

3.when he trips a grab his arm before he hits the ground and we keep running like SHIT and then when we get to the helicopter shoot all of the zombies who get to close while the helicopters taking off.

 

[MasterOfWorlds]

Scenario 1)
Grab some sort of cutting equipment, such as a small hatchet, mathete, or such, with a clip and clip it to my belt. Find about a 3.5-4.5 foot metal pole. Find some good, reasonably close fitting gloves, boots, and some sort of coverall with goggles and helmet and some dust masks. Pull some stuff off of the shelves to further slow the zombies and grab some radios and batteries and a lantern and flashlight or two and make for the roof. While I radio for help, I'll bash any zombies that come up on the roof one at a time. If help is on the way, great. If not, I should be able to see how many zombies are around and know when it's safe. If there aren't too many to take care of, I try to take them out one at a time as they try to come after me. The hatchet/machete is for cutting through obsticals. It's easier to break a zombies knee and slow it down further than it would be to actually crush through the skull of sever the spinal cord, so blunt for to knees is probably the way to go. Also, I'd grab some rope. In case they all swarm into the warehouse, I'll tie the rope to something on the roof and climb down once I see that the area around is safe, relative though "safe" may be at that point.

Scenario 2)
I'd go with the pointy pole because I've had training with jo and bo staves. The added reach and leverage would be more than enough to shatter knees and trip them up if they got too close. I'd be running though. I'd tell the cop that any injured must be left behind, period. If the cop refused, I'd tell the cop to carry the kid while I take his pistol to take out anything that got too close. I've had plenty of pistol practice too, so that should help. Then we'd commence operation GTFO. Once we're (or I, depending on how things work out) are in the safe room, I parricade that door with anything that isn't nailed down and proceed to make plans with what's available in the room. I don't really want to rest where the zombies know where I am, so I'll head out as soon as I make a reasonable plan if the zombies don't look like they're going to break through for a few minutes.

Scenario 3)
Turn my head while running to see if he's getting up. Either way, there's not much I can do for him. I might pop a few shots off at the horde chasing him, but there's no way I'm stopping. Anyone with me during an apocolypse is going to get the same, "If you go down, you're on your own unless we know for a fact that we can get you before they catch us." speech. He has no delusions about my feelings, and I gave him fair warning. It's a shame, but I'll have to count him among the dead while I run to the chopper. I'll probably have nightmares for a good long time, but at least I'll be alive.

 

[lettucethesallad]

1. Chainsaw. Then climb up on the roof and pick the zombies off one by one if they managed to break into the store and climb up the ladder. Easier one on one than in a group.

2. Pointed pole, run for it. Leave the girl - she poses a risk and would lower my own chances of survival. Also, would not be of any use in any future zombie encounters for at least another 5 years. Cop can come along if he can keep up.

3. Leave him. If he gets up quickly and makes a mad dash for the helicopter I'd have it wait for him - if not, we're out of there.

These answers are of course based on my not knowing these people. If it were people close to me, say if the girl was my niece or the tripped man my brother, I'd do whatever in my power to save them.

 

[viranimus]

I will present you with three scenarios that you may occur in a zombie apocalypse:

1.you have ran into a small hard ware store that has: gardening equipment, tools and cash register. you have locked the front door and there is no back door. their are around 200-300 zombies out side what to you do? (in this situation it's slow hard to kill zombies)

A: Begin the process of Jury rigging riding lawn mowers. Salvage any and rig the motors to also run spinning exposed blades on the top. Also equip it with something like say a fire alarm or something that makes alot of noise continuously. Line it with mini propane tanks for camp grills rigged with a small explosive charge formed from nitrogen based fertilizers and a remote control activator.

Stock up on equipment. Ideally Machette, wood axe, something fairly easy to wield with devastating power but is quiet enough to not alert others to your presence. Also pick up any viable survival supplies such as strong rope, tarps, glue, flashlights, batteries, camp supplies, as much as you can carry that wont slow you down. Not only will these be crucial to your own survival, but they will likely be highly valuable and worth trading.

Once your ready... Send your modified Mower of death out in a straight line. Allow it to draw the attention of the hoard and as the numbers at the back of the store decrease, blow the ***** as you make your way out the back and through the hoards thinned out numbers.


2. you have teamed up with a police man and injured 5 year old girl, the police officer is out of ammo and only has a baton left you are carrying a frying pan/combat knife/grenade/pointed metal pole (pick one) zombies are hot on your tail you are about 500m away from a save house what to you do? (these zombies are left 4 dead zombies)

A: Simple. Take the pointed metal pole. Jam it in the cops foot (or some other way of immobilizing him) and leave him behind for the hoard to focus on. The cop is out of ammo, and wont get far with a baton anyway. If its a good cop, inevitably hes going to sacrifice himself to protect the injured girl anyway, better to volunteer him for it, than wait for an inane and long drawn out speech about it. If its a crooked cop, he was likely going to do the same thing to you, so its better you did it to him first.

As for the injured 5 year old, It really depends on the type of injury. If its anything other than an infectable cause, its fine, but if there is any sort of indication she is infected, exchange the girl for the cop and leave her behind.

Either way, sacrifice one in order to get to saftey.


3. you and the person closest to you are 100m away from a helicopter that will rescue you when the other person falls over with the zombies 50m behind you have a pistol with 20 shots left what do you do? (these are 28 days later zombies)

A: If its just a trip, give them a second to get back up and continue. Fire off a few shots to give the fallen a chance. If its a twisted ankle, or something that will inevitably slow them down, Do the honorable thing and shoot them. Theres no chance there going to make it. Going back would just be sacrificing both parties, and even putting the helicopter at risk. And it would be better to be shot and killed than to turn into a rage fueled monstrosity.

Sorry. I never said I was a nice guy.

 

[Daverson]

1.you have ran into a small hard ware store that has: gardening equipment, tools and cash register. you have locked the front door and there is no back door. their are around 200-300 zombies out side what to you do? (in this situation it's slow hard to kill zombies)

No back door? It's a hardware store, it's the apocalypse. No one's going to care about a quick bit of sledgehammer DIY. Bam. There's now a backdoor. Best case scenario, I can escape without having to deal with even one zombie! =D

Firstly however, the store should be checked for useful materials. Nails and vegetable seeds should be taken en-mass (both being relatively lightweight and easy to store on my person, and both being essential to the construction of a new settlement), any repairs/modifications should be made to my current equipment (within reason), but don't linger too long! Half an hour at most should be spent inside.

2. you have teamed up with a police man and injured 5 year old girl, the police officer is out of ammo and only has a baton left you are carrying a frying pan/combat knife/grenade/pointed metal pole (pick one) zombies are hot on your tail you are about 500m away from a save house what to you do? (these zombies are left 4 dead zombies)

I don't know if the girl is infected, but these is L4D "zombies", so it's reasonably safe to assume she isn't. 500m isn't too far, the group could probably run that distance (if the girl is unable to walk, she could be piggy-backed). A grenade could provide a suitable distraction if the infected become a relevant threat.

3. you and the person closest to you are 100m away from a helicopter that will rescue you when the other person falls over with the zombies 50m behind you have a pistol with 20 shots left what do you do? (these are 28 days later zombies)

20rnds in a pistol clip? The gun nut in me is highly suspicious of this.

Anyways, hold my position and cover him/her while s/he gets up. If s/he is reached by one of the infected, put him/her out of his/her misery, then continue onto the chopper (at full speed!).

 

[ender214]

1. I'm assuming the zombies are too stupid/not aggressive enough to break through the windows, in which case I grab an axe or some other kind of long handled weapon and create a series of 2 or 3 barricades out of shelves/supplies in front of the entrance, with additional barricades creating a narrow corridor with 3 chest high walls. I sit behind the first one and open the door, funneling in the zombies singly and kill them from behind the barricade. It will take a while, but eventually I should be able to whittle through the hordes. The other barricades are to be used if the first barricade is overwhelmed.

2. I'll be carrying the long pointed stick. Try to convince the policeman to join me and leave the 5 year old girl behind. If the policeman is convinced, leave the girl alive to attract some of the zombies through her crying and thus lessen the horde that we will have to face. A night-sticks range is rather short so we'll try to get the policeman a new weapon if we can conveniently find one on the way (like on some dead survivor we pass on the way to the safe house). Use the stick to shove zombies out of the way (faster) or kill them if its necessary. If the policeman refuses to leave the girl, leave both of them alive and try to make it alone to the safe room. The girl should attract some of the horde off of me through the noise she makes. The trip to the safe house will be difficult alone, but there is no better option.

3. Try to pull the friend up to his feet immediately (would only do this for a very close friend, not some random stranger I met on the way). He should be able to get up before the zombies advance significantly. Proceed to sprint to the helicopter. The only case in which I would use the pistol to kill the zombies is if there were 5 or less zombies, in which case I would feel confident enough that I would be able to kill them within my limit of 20 bullets (what kind of handgun holds 20 rounds though?) and then be able to help my friend up and get to the helicopter before the sound attracts a larger horde.

 

[mb16]

1: get as many sharp and long objects i can and anything which will burn (like the remington branch wizard) and the clime the ladder if the ladder can be pulled up/kicked down i do so if not i jab at any zombies climbing up (you try climbing a ladder with some one stabbing you. With the flammable stuff I can use it to clear the zombies if I need to run for it, or to attract attention.

2:if i can while running convince the little girl to stay behind and pull the grenade pin (a white phosphorus grenade) when the first zombies get to her. then go morn here in the safety of the safe place. If i cant get here to do that just drop her and grenade -the pin (im not that evil i would let her be eaten)

3: get to the copper first. look back and see if he will make it
if yes- tell the chopper to wait hovering at about 5ft, then make him grab onto the skids ad pull him up as we fly off. then sit him in a corner with my pistol trained on him (and maybe the pilot for good measure)
if no-take off and keep an eye on the pilot. they have a nasty tenedcy to turn just at the wrong moment. also if he says he feels ill, im shooting him then tossing him out of the chopper(i sure i could land a chopper)


note:

Spoiler: this the the branch wizard

 

[s0m3th1ng]

1: find a way to the roof, open the doors, and light the fertilizer section on fire. Hop down to the ground, close the doors, make smores.
2: Toss the girl to the zombies to slow them down and distract them. Run with the cop, tripping him if the zombies get too close.
3:Shoot the dude in the head to spare him the indignity of un-death and GET TO THE CHOPPA.

A-, you will properly not get killed by zombie but you may be left behind by other survivors and you don't work well in groups.

Why would you join a group? It's pretty much been proven(Through first-hand experience) the only thing group-think gets you is a toothy massage. Every man for himself baby.

 

[Arashiofordo3]

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you two draw for the best answer both of you think things through thoughtfully and logically. both of you value human lives without it putting you at risk. also Arashiofordo3 your comment about running into 200-300 shambling dead in middle of now where made me cough out lout (got cold cough when I laugh). both of you have a good grip of what you can and can't do. both of you will make excellent allies to however you meet in the zombie apocalypse and are some of our best hops to continue the human race encase of walking dead/ rabie mutant people. you get the bronze chuck norris of the zombie apocalypse trophy.

Thank you very much sir. Lets just hope such things don't occur, little girls tend to hate me when I try to eat them.

 

[Holy_Handgrenade]

I want to check how my fellow escapist would to in a zombie apocalypse. I will present you with three scenarios that you may occur in a zombie apocalypse:
1.you have ran into a small hard ware store that has: gardening equipment, tools and cash register. you have locked the front door and there is no back door. their are around 200-300 zombies out side what to you do? (in this situation it's slow hard to kill zombies)
2. you have teamed up with a police man and injured 5 year old girl, the police officer is out of ammo and only has a baton left you are carrying a frying pan/combat knife/grenade/pointed metal pole (pick one) zombies are hot on your tail you are about 500m away from a save house what to you do? (these zombies are left 4 dead zombies)
3. you and the person closest to you are 100m away from a helicopter that will rescue you when the other person falls over with the zombies 50m behind you have a pistol with 20 shots left what do you do? (these are 28 days later zombies)

well I wish you guys the best of luck with these tests and the best get to join my 'the people who kick zombies asses' group (not an actual escapist group(from my knowledge) but should be)

1. Get a ride on lawnmower and pile any highly combustable materials on it, pierce the part which holds the petrol therefore leaving a trail let it ride out into the crowd then light the trail. Then block the front of the shop of with lit petrol any zombies that come through I will pick of with the lightweight weapon e.g shovel or machette. But if it looks like a could blow through the back wall by blowing up the ride on lawnmower I'd do that then run like hell.

2. Left 4 Dead zombies are quite slow so I think a policeman could outrun them with a child on there back. If that was to dangerous for me I would and I'm guessing were outside? Tell policeman to give me his baton and run with the girl, I need them out of my way for what I do next. I would lure the zombies onto a nearby car park or petrol station even better. Use the grenade to take most of them out. If any get close to me after that I use the baton.

3.If there is a lot I can't really do much for him apart from try to pick them off with the gun and see if he can get up if he doesn't I would kill him in mercy. If there were around ten or less as I'm quite good with a firearm I I think I would be able to pick them off. I wouldn't go to him though that's just stupid.