Zombie Rights and Awareness!

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

What about collateral? I for one am always ready to champion causes, but really zombies, though perhaps docile, once riled, lay waste to entire settlements. The zombie community would have to pledge a certain amount of their collected assets as a sign of good faith, otherwise I'll have no hope in persuading the House of Lords to give you Guernsey, and they really hate Guernsey, so you can see the difficulties that already need surmounting.

I do not believe there will be qualms over the constant supply of human bodies. Our prisons are overcrowded and we've been searching for a good way to reform the justice system for years. However, "You are sentenced to 'Death or Transmogrification by Zombie'", may be a bit of a PR roadblock, and might deter vying criminals.

I shall tentatively enquire in the Lords on your behalf.

 

[Shock and Awe]

Oh sure whatever you say!

*Loads shotgun*

 

[Devil's Due]

Well..

1. I can understand the need for an island, although what use do zombies have for electricity or shelter, unless they're used for containment of said zombies. They're immortal (as far as I know) and immune to disease.

2. Good point, I can agree on this. (although it does make it a ***** to bring someone back if they've been wrongfully accused.)

3. This is a null point, seeing as all movies and games coming already state that all characters and scenes involved are fictitious.

We have taken this post into consideration. For number 1, rain and such doesn't harm us, but we do feel cold, and would prefer the warmth of a shelter. Also, as you know, loud sounds and lights attract out attention. Doing so would keep us all happy and amused.

For number 3, we have edited the original demands appropriately to fix this clarifying problem.

What about collateral? I for one am always ready to champion causes, but really zombies, though perhaps docile, once riled, lay waste to entire settlements. The zombie community would have to pledge a certain amount of their collected assets as a sign of good faith, otherwise I'll have no hope in persuading the House of Lords to give you Guernsey, and they really hate Guernsey, so you can see the difficulties that already need surmounting.

I do not believe there will be qualms over the constant supply of human bodies. Our prisons are overcrowded and we've been searching for a good way to reform the justice system for years. However, "You are sentenced to 'Death or Transmogrification by Zombie'", may be a bit of a PR roadblock, and might deter vying criminals.

I shall tentatively enquire in the Lords on your behalf.

We would be willing to give up the once infested "Raccoon City" and locations within the "Lead 4 Dead" games without harm, though Dead Rising games are not within our rights as those are property of the Undead Variety Zombie.

Possibly, and we have edited appropriately allowing animals as food as well now, so we can snack on those and the occasional inmate that has been sentenced to us, post-dead in watercooler boxes with ice to preserve the scrumptious body.

(Looky that, post 1111, how nice!)

 

[zombiejoe]

Hmmmm, I have a few questions Mr.Zombie. For one, why can't you feed on the flesh of animals, instead of the living humans (can I call us that, or is that insensative). And also, how where you able to type up this post if you are a zombie? Did you re-learn how to speak? Or did you get a translator? Or am I turning into a zombie and I see your zombie language as my own, or what?

Simple my friend, we are considering changing it to animals and post-dead convicts instead for our feeding.

Also, I am simple a infected zombie, not a fully "undead" zombie that walks slowly and cannot speak or lost their limbs! I was recently infected a few days ago and am simply the latest victim of the Umbrella corp, so I still have all my limbs and most of my knowledge intact. Once I lost it, another will be appointed. You are not a zombie... yet, unless you'd like to be a willing participant.

I may be zombiejoe, but I sure ain't no zombie joe. And I don't plan on being infected anytime soon, I still have babies I wanna make.

However if you wanna get some fresh blood I found a cute one down at this place called Willametta

WARNING, SPOILERZ!


[spoiler/]http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb21710/common/skins/common/blank.gif/[/spoiler]

 

[Frontastic]

How does one join this fine organization and by extension, you're ranks?

 

[Sirpipple]

ok lets say that we do what you want we give you food and an island and that other third thing
but what do we get in return?

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Isn't zombie awareness month May? (I'm serious, not being a smartass)

Regardless, it's been too long that our former fellow man have been mindless cannibals. We demand they have rights, damnit!

 

[Devil's Due]

Zombies don't exist and never will

Zombies always have existed, my friend!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zombie

Please read and enlighten yourself! Knowledge is power. We will continue to exist, even when people desire that we do not!

How does one join this fine organization and by extension, you're ranks?

Simple, either go up and ask a zombie to infect you. If you're unable to do this, just use the Zombie Awareness avatar for your support. But that is not required. We don't require much [small]other than your undying loyalty and body[/small]

 

[Sirpipple]

hey what was that thing you said that's in small type i can't read it...

 

[Devil's Due]

ok lets say that we do what you want we give you food and an island and that other third thing
but what do we get in return?

We don't eat you.

Isn't zombie awareness month May? (I'm serious, not being a smartass)

Regardless, it's been too long that our former fellow man have been mindless cannibals. We demand they have rights, damnit!

Yes, but I'm lazy and bored and wanted to make this topic today. Power to the Zombies! Also, out of another thing of boredom, I made a zombie user group for zombie rights!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/Zombie-Rights-and-Awareness

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

How does one join this fine organization and by extension, you're ranks?

Now this is the kind of thing that causes diplomatic incidents. Now it looks like you've called zombies rank.

We would be willing to give up the once infested "Raccoon City" and locations within the "Lead 4 Dead" games without harm, though Dead Rising games are not within our rights as those are property of the Undead Variety Zombie.

Possibly, and we have edited appropriately allowing animals as food as well now, so we can snack on those and the occasional inmate that has been sentenced to us, post-dead in watercooler boxes with ice to preserve the scrumptious body.

As a technical representative of the British government, I doubt I would be able to accept either Raccoon City or the Left4Dead regions on behalf of Her Majesty, since they were beforehand in the ownership of the American government, and it is likely I'd cause a major diplomatic incident by doing so.

There is little you could give us, as the so-called "infected" in the 28 Days Later movie were merely normal underclass citizens. We'd be willing to hand over the Channel Islands if you could therefore participate in a little extermination/kidnapping work on the side, for those individuals we simply cannot convict.

 

[Sirpipple]

woot first to join that meens i win

 

[Devil's Due]

As a technical representative of the British government, I doubt I would be able to accept either Raccoon City or the Left4Dead regions on behalf of Her Majesty, since they were beforehand in the ownership of the American government, and it is likely I'd cause a major diplomatic incident by doing so.

There is little you could give us, as the so-called "infected" in the 28 Days Later movie were merely normal underclass citizens. We'd be willing to hand over the Channel Islands if you could therefore participate in a little extermination work on the side, for those individuals we simply cannot convict.

Possibly, but someone is already offering us Australia. We'll see. And regardless where we are, we won't say no to any "donations" of inmates to our island, regardless of where they're from, as it'll be very generous to us and cause the Zombie population to be tame with that country that has been kind to us.

 

[Sirpipple]

quick question, does being a zombie hurt?

 

[ReaperzXIII]

I agree to zombies getting their own island, solely for the main reason we nuke them from orbit and put an end to them once and for all.

We will exterminate the zombie plague and save the human race! We will no longer be killed and oppressed by the zombie hordes! I saw an old buddy torn apart by a zombie and eaten! We shall not stand for this! We will stand and fight against this madness! Why?

BECAUSE THIS IS NOT SPARTA! But it's still Earth and we like it!

 

[Devil's Due]

quick question, does being a zombie hurt?

Only if someone shoots you, which is why we're trying to avoid anymore hostilities with the nations of the world. Though some hate stated they feel no pain when shot, possibly because they lost their head's already.

 

[arcade109]

FUCK ZOMBIES! THEY GOT TOO MUCH FREEDOM I SAY!

 

[KarumaK]

Alternatively you can enjoy the airborne antigen we released yesterday designed just for you. It's been... well shitty having you around, you stink and you never leave a good tip.

So long and good riddance leg-dragging scum.

 

[Devil's Due]

I agree to zombies getting their own island, solely for the main reason we nuke them from orbit and put an end to them once and for all.

We will exterminate the zombie plague and save the human race! We will no longer be killed and oppressed by the zombie hordes! I saw an old buddy torn apart by a zombie and eaten! We shall not stand for this! We will stand and fight against this madness! Why?

BECAUSE THIS IS NOT SPARTA! But it's still Earth and we like it!

FUCK ZOMBIES! THEY GOT TOO MUCH FREEDOM I SAY!

Alternatively you can enjoy the airborne antigen we released yesterday designed just for you. It's been... well shitty having you around, you stink and you never leave a good tip.

So long and good riddance leg-dragging scum.

All of these hostilities will end in war if you continue to do offensive attacks towards the Zombies Rights. We have sleeper zombie agents everywhere ready to activate if you force our boney hands!