A Collection Of The Worlds Best Chat Up Lines

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curlycrouton

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Jul 13, 2008
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Chat up lines are for only the most unimaginative, soulless, dull bastards on this planet. Pitiful, just pitiful.
 

new_age_reject

Lives in dactylic hexameter.
Dec 28, 2008
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Kukul said:
Individuo said:
"Nice shoes... Fancy a fuck?"

Another one a mate of mine uses.
"I bet you a drink I can make your tits move without touching them
*squeeze tits*
What you drinking?"
AndyVale said:
Oh here's one I like

*Walk up to girl*
Hi
*lick finger, touch her with it*
Well, we'd better get you out of those wet clothes.
I like those two, but again you need to be genuinely handsome to pull it off.
Or I'm just a shy little pussy. I don't know.
Your right, you have to be one of those really charming, confident bastards to pull these things off.
GrimRox said:
There's about 206 bones in the human body, want another?
God help me I lol'd.

I like the one:
"GIANT POLAR BEAR!!!"
"What!?"
"Just needed something to break the ice".
 

AndyVale

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Mar 18, 2009
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curlycrouton said:
Chat up lines are for only the most unimaginative, soulless, dull bastards on this planet. Pitiful, just pitiful.
Remind me to party with you more often.

It's called mild fun, light-hearted entertainment or my personal favourite, shits n' giggles.
 

tk1989

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May 20, 2008
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new_age_reject said:
I like the one:
"GIANT POLAR BEAR!!!"
"What!?"
"Just needed something to break the ice".

Haha, that is fucking brilliant! I have to use that sometime!
 

Baneat

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Jul 18, 2008
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Individuo said:
"Nice shoes... Fancy a fuck?"

Another one a mate of mine uses.
"I bet you a drink I can make your tits move without touching them
*squeeze tits*
What you drinking?"
Oh my god that's awesome! You could get slapped though.
 

Chinchama

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Mar 1, 2009
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Ago Iterum said:
"I've got a DVD player in my house."

With a smug, accomplished look on my face. Awh yeah.
This made me laugh the hardest out of all of them. Reminds me of something that a guy who wears Hawaiian t-shirts, has an abundance of chest hair poofing out of the shirt, some huge gold chains, white pants, big classes and greased hair would say, the type of 1-upping douchebag you can find in Miami.
 

Duck Sandwich

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Dec 13, 2007
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(At a Metallica concert) "Hey, baby. Wanna Ride my Lightning?"
"You. My bed. Now."
"You must be a demolitions expert because you just triggered an explosion in my pants."
 

Dimbo_Sama

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Mar 20, 2009
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You walk up to the girl confident as hell

look her up and down quickly but intensively

and say

"...You look clean"

also theres

"Generic Chat-up line"

if they have a particular sense of humour the conversation will flow.
 

AndyVale

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Mar 18, 2009
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Duck Sandwich said:
(At a Metallica concert) "Hey, baby. Wanna Ride my Lightning?"
"You. My bed. Now."
"You must be a demolitions expert because you just triggered an explosion in my pants."
It's impossible to comprehend anything else happening. You my friend are getting grade A poon tonight!
 

bjj hero

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Feb 4, 2009
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I simply asked my current partner for her number. Easy.

Failing that...

You have eyes like spanners... They make my nuts tighten.
 

scoobyduped

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Apr 6, 2008
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-Do you have a mirror in your pocket, because I can see myself in your pants.
-Nice shirt. It would look even better on my bedroom floor.
or my favorite....
-Are you an angel, because I've got an erection.
 

Shul Cooper

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Feb 22, 2009
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"I'm a Boy Scout, and I'm conducting free breast examinations."
"Are you from the Caribbean? Because Ja makin' me crazy!"
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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Kukul said:
Those are fucking terrible, but I don't pick up girls in bars, so whatever.

My favourite: "I like you, don't fuck it up."
I don't know who would WANT to pick up ladies at a bar (or club). As a rule, if they're there planning on taking a guy home I probably don't want to deal with them in the morning with a hangover.

Though, what I find works best is simply saying "hi". If that's too simple, pick absolutely AWFUL pickup lines - at least if it's good enough you might get a laugh, which seems to be the best you can hope for. If that doesn't work for you, get an audi and a high limit credit card and be sure to display them prominently - you might get mugged when you leave but you probably won't have to do much work to find someone wililng to talk if you're conspicuous enough.
 

Daveman

has tits and is on fire
Jan 8, 2009
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whats got 50 metal teeth and holds back the incredible hulk?

my zipper
 

Bagaloo

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Sep 17, 2008
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"You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day. Screaming."
I believe thats from an XKCD strip.

A friend of mine has a poster with 100 cheesey chat up lines on it, I can recall a few:

"Those must be space pants, because that ass is out of this world!"

"You must be a broom because you just swept me off my feet."

"Get yer coat; you've pulled."

So horribly amusing. :)