Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[MelziGurl]

I never felt any peer pressure or desire to be with anyone during high school. Most of the guys were dickheads with all the decent ones taken. Because of this I was an observer of relationships when it came to my friends, which turned me off relationships altogether. I was close to 21 when I lost my virginity and I'm marrying that person after being with him for 4 years. I've always been proud of this fact.

Nah, you're not being uptight. There are more people who share your opinion then you think

 

[CloakedOne]

If it helps, that's exactly what i did. I didn't have sex with a woman until I was 22 and I dated her for 2 years before finally going along with it. I wanted my first time to be with someone that I loved and I really can't say if it's better or not, but it surely was a meaningful and wonderful experience. If you have the patience, just go ahead and wait, you'll have your whole life to have more and more sex.

 

[Reenix]

That makes me sound kinda like a pedophile, but I am only 16 and my girlfriend is 15 so I am waiting for her birthday to pass before I have sex.

There's a difference between paedophilia and 'statutory rape' - paedophilia is a psychological condition that forces you to sexually attracted to people who could not possibly LOOK old enough for sex - most 15-year-old girls look [insert regional age of consent here]+ so it's nothing to do with paedophilia.

The decision to have sex at a legal age is nothing more than a submissiveness to rules that people have put into place regarding how old you need to be for your consent to be valid. i.e. rubbish.

I lost my virginity at 15 to my 14-year-old girlfriend because she was sexually mature and I was very drunk. This does not give me a pathological attraction to children, it just means that I was a little reckless. Oh, and I've never been in trouble for doing it.

 

[Limzz]

I dunno. Guys fuck sluts but that doesn't mean they like them or have any respect. It's a lot better with someone you love but if you're a young guy and have an opportunity to get laid I say definitely go for it. Get a little xp under the belt for all you gamers. Then when you're with a girl you actually care about you have at least more than zero idea what you're doing.

 

[the_tramp]

I first had sex when I was 20, it was a casual "friends with benefits" scenario. We've drifted apart recently because, not meaning to sound harsh, but she's turned neurotic and always demands that I listen for hours to her incessant ramblings about "how hard her life is" when in fact it isn't.

Considering that I had put the hours in and listened to her and comforted her, I was going through a rough patch a couple of months ago (Mixture of coursework/dissertation/exam stress coupled with the horror that I will soon be entering the work place and having nothing to really show for my achievements). It was a phase, something that all I really needed was a "It's fine, you're going to do well, you're getting a degree (etc blah blah blah)", just reassurance but she refused to even give me the time of the day and all she could say was "heh, well I've got loads of experience and am going to do this that and I'm going to be amazing". Reeeeally wasn't what I needed to hear so I realised there and then that it really was a 1-way friendship.

That being said, do I regret having sex with her? No
Do I regret losing my virginity to her? No
If I could go back would I stop myself? No, for the following reason.

I had always put "having sex" up on a pedestal and now that I've done it, and realise that sex is just sex, I can focus on the other, better aspects of being in a relationship. I won't be sat there fretting about if and when it's going to happen.

 

[Eggsnham]

Sex is sex. It can be as emotional, or as cold and biological as you want it.

I prefer the biological option (not that I don't like a relationship and I'm only after sex, mind you) because it's the body's natural urge to want to spread the love juices around.

When you think about it. Sex is the core of humanity, and is at the base of many things that we do as people. There is too much of a good thing, but sex is still what makes life; life.

I fail to see why people are so uptight about sex.

But yes, there does have to some strand of emotion to it for it to be a good relationship...

*Ponders on why his past relationships failed so early*

 

[Reenix]

"Guys fuck sluts" - way to one-side everything. What we need here is a girl to post the female side of the argument and prove that guys aren't sex-starved victims with girls as the villains, picking off the best men for their domination. ¬_¬

 

[Macgyvercas]

Seems that chastity isn't as big of a virtue as it was 20 years ago. Shame really.

 

[GuerrillaClock]

It really doesn't matter that much to me. If it's between two people who consent, and no one gets hurt, then it's fine what people get up to, it's their business and they should be ready to deal with the consequences if they decide to go for it. I've had a few partners, not an endless line mind, but enough to realise that it doesn't always have to mean love. I find that whole idea naive (not love, I mean the idea that you can't enjoy sex unless you feel bonded to life with that person).

 

[Julianking93]

snip

Did you not see where I said my opinions on this have nothing to do with religion?

I'm actually an atheist who thinks any abstinance for religion crap is just that, crap.

My reasons for wanting to stay a virgin are that I believe if you go around fucking everything merely for the sake of fucking it will bring nothing but guilt and regret, unless you're an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anyone's feelings and still goes around fucking everything, in which case, those people need to go straight to hell.

 

[Reenix]

Seems that chastity isn't as big of a virtue as it was 20 years ago. Shame really.

Chastity is over-rated. Look what it did to this thread!

Social construct or otherwise, the psychological implications of being a virgin can be devastating to your well-being.

 

[KaiRai]

Me and my GF were 14 when we first did it. We're 19 now, still going strong If you love someone, it's not an issue for age, but if you're doing it to keep count, it kind of takes the emotion out, and then it's just a gym session.

 

[Reenix]

And everyone loves a gym session.

 

[VegetaPrinceofSaiyans]

Sex is very enjoyable. As for the whole "wait till you are in love" how do you know what love is? You say the teens don't but to be honest, neither do you.
You can not say what love is. You do not have that authority.
And yes, your hang ups on sex are more than likely religion based. Like it or not, this societies morals are based on religious crap so even if you do not believe in the religion yourself, the society you grew up in which has these religious morals still influenced your decision.
Also like it or not, being sexually compatible with someone is a big important part to being in a relationship. If you are not sexually compatible then you will not last. So if I want to check around and find out what type of things I like and with who then so be it.

Oh and while I am on the subject I personally believe the "growing promiscuity of teenagers" is a myth too.
Teens have always fucked. Its just that they used to get more back alley abortions. No, I do not mean the wire coat hanger. But specific herbs and shit can force miscarriage. That or they just stuck to oral.
Plus go back even further and it was the way shit was that 13 year olds would get married and fuck.

i have a few issues with your post sir

#1: Your statements about him not being able to say what love is were vastly blown out of proportion. He never claimed what love is to him, nor did he try to force those views on others, and besides who is to say what something means anyways? A great many people may draw a significant amount of conclusions from the very same thing.\

#2: Your statements about those views being religious in nature are totally bogus as well. I myself feel quite the same way(ie: don't have sex until you know you are ready, marrage doesn't rly matter, at least in my case) and I myself am an atheist who is very set in his ways and has never expierenced the slightest bit of religious influence in my life.

#3: Your statements about being sexually compatible are making a rather sweeping generalization that everyone's life/love revolve around sex and that is entirely untrue at least from my point of view.

#4: Your statements about teens growing more promiscuous being a myth I must also find some disagreement with. Myself being 17 years old, I bear witness to the utter level of sexuality and perversion that makes up the lifestyle of most teenagers at my high school and frankly, it is an utterly dispicable lifestyle that I want absolutely no part of, one where sex is a status symbol and has lost all meaning that it once had.


--My fellow Escapists. I do apologize for the rather significant wall of text that you just bore witness to, but I obviously feel rather strongly about this topic. Have a nice day XD

 

[pearcinator]

im 19 and havnt even had my 1st kiss.

I dont really give a shit right now. Im more focused on other things. Itll happen eventually but I dont care if im even 30 before it does.

One things for sure though...im not gonna be a 40 yr old virgin, id rather just pay some hooker when im 39. It wont come to that though im certain of it.

 

[conflictofinterests]

From the biological viewpoint, if teenagers, but mostly teenage boys, did NOT want to hump everything in a skirt in ancient times, there was a chance that they would die before they got to pass on their genes. Of course not ALL the people who wanted to wait in ancient times died, and in fact, it's likely a great deal of them lived, but teens can have a lot of sex, and thus produce a lot of offspring that produce a lot of offspring, etc. Horny teens are more evolutionarily successful because of the proportion of the gene pool they make up.

That being said, I don't think love is necessary so much as comfort and trust, and while those things are typically indicators of what we currently deem love, they are necessary but not sufficient to support a lifetime partnership. Sex is fun. It's a great way to relieve stress. But saying that one should wait until one finds love, what may be the most difficult thing to find since the Holy Grail and WMD's in Iraq, may be a little much.

On a side note, I do believe love can be made as opposed to found. Sometimes you don't just know. Sometimes it grows on you. And aside from that, it has to be maintained, you can't take it for granted once you have it. So if someone's waiting for Cupid's arrow to strike before they allow themselves pleasure of the flesh, I might equate them to someone who has the money for a down-payment and instead of buying a house with a loan and paying it off as they work, buying lottery tickets every week in order to pay off the house in full with the winnings.

 

[Macgyvercas]

snip

My reasons for wanting to stay a virgin are that I believe if you go around fucking everything merely for the sake of fucking it will bring nothing but guilt and regret, unless you're an asshole who doesn't give a shit about anyone's feelings and still goes around fucking everything, in which case, those people need to go straight to hell.

Is it ironic that I'm Catholic and have a similar view on people who have mindless sex? I mean, I don't have an issue with sex if it means something to the parties involved, but the people who do it just to do it (no puns intended) are jerks.

Seems that chastity isn't as big of a virtue as it was 20 years ago. Shame really.

Chastity is over-rated. Look what it did to this thread!

Social construct or otherwise, the psychological implications of being a virgin can be devastating to your well-being.

For me, being single is more devastating to my well being than my being a virgin.

Call me old fashioned, call me crazy, call me whatever you will (except late for dinner), but I plan on remaining chaste until I find the person I want to spend my life with, and hope that they would remain chaste for me as well.

 

[Reenix]

Sex is very enjoyable. As for the whole "wait till you are in love" how do you know what love is? You say the teens don't but to be honest, neither do you.
You can not say what love is. You do not have that authority.
And yes, your hang ups on sex are more than likely religion based. Like it or not, this societies morals are based on religious crap so even if you do not believe in the religion yourself, the society you grew up in which has these religious morals still influenced your decision.
Also like it or not, being sexually compatible with someone is a big important part to being in a relationship. If you are not sexually compatible then you will not last. So if I want to check around and find out what type of things I like and with who then so be it.

Oh and while I am on the subject I personally believe the "growing promiscuity of teenagers" is a myth too.
Teens have always fucked. Its just that they used to get more back alley abortions. No, I do not mean the wire coat hanger. But specific herbs and shit can force miscarriage. That or they just stuck to oral.
Plus go back even further and it was the way shit was that 13 year olds would get married and fuck.

i have a few issues with your post sir

#1: Your statements about him not being able to say what love is were vastly blown out of proportion. He never claimed what love is to him, nor did he try to force those views on others, and besides who is to say what something means anyways? A great many people may draw a significant amount of conclusions from the very same thing.\

#2: Your statements about those views being religion are totally bogus as well. I myself feel quite the same way(ie: don't have sex until you know you are ready, marrage doesn't rly matter, at least in my case) and I myself am an atheist who is very set in his ways and has never expierenced the slightest bit of religous influence in my life.

#3: Your statements about being sexually compatible are making a rather sweeping generalization that everyone's life/love revolve around sex and that is entirely untrue at least from my point of view.

#4: Your statements about teens growing more promiscuous being a myth I must also find some disagreement with. Myself being 17 years old, I bear witness to the utter level of sexuality and perversion that makes up the lifestyle of most teenagers at my high school and frankly, it is an utterly dispicable lifestyle that I want absolutely no part of, one where sex is a status symbol and has lost all meaning that it once had.


--My fellow Escapists. I do apologize for the rather significant wall of text that you just bore witness to, but I obviously feel rather strongly about this topic. Have a nice day XD

That's nice.

#1: Why are we even discussing love? We all know that sex doesn't have to have anything to do with love to be good.

#2: Fair enough

#3: To the people whose lives don't require a strong sexual chemistry then the point is moot anyway - to people for whom sex DOES matter will want a strong compatibility.

#4: Why is it despicable? For whom is this debasing? If you treat sex as a status symbol then your partner is more than likely to as well - no-one gets hurt. The 'meaning' of sex has never been concrete - procreation, love, fun, release; your argument is assuming that sex is one 'thing' out of range of concepts.