Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[ZombieGenesis]

Probably mostly just down to hormones and peer pressure, but not everyone is subsceptible to this. I really wasn't, and I suppose I'm still not, but I'm with someone so that doesn't really matter. If it doesn't interest you then try persuing something else, like...
Deer?

 

[lacktheknack]

I have deep, innate beliefs about emotional health and sex.

My evidence: About 90% of the teens I'm surrounded by who have had sex start behaving differently, in increasingly aloof ways, or become depressed. The teens who don't, don't.

Add in a pinch of religious beliefs.

Mix in a cups of parental stance mixed with parental respect.

End result: I'm waiting until I get married.

 

[Boba Frag]

snip

In all honesty, no, not at all.

I don't think it soured my expectations because I am actively trying to find a girlfriend (or hell, even a friend) who I love and loves me back.

I feel as if I may be trying to make up for my first time I suppose.

Honestly, I try to forget about it. I sometimes don't even count it, that's how bad it was.

Also, hurray for me! I just hit 17K

Congrats on the 17k posts... Eh, maybe you should divert that energy into looking for that girl?

Kidding, kidding! I would never advise anyone to cut back on their Escapist time!

As this thread seems to point out, you are certainly on to something. The thing is, most people buy into the "get laid NAOW" type of juvenile thinking.
I lost my virginity with a girl I was rather fond of, and it was great.

However, having sex with someone you are head over heels in love with is absolutely the best. Not because of the magical quality, but because you care about the person you're with, and they care about you. It's all about physically expressing a connection you feel to each other, and deepening that connection further.

In all, don't despair. You'll find that princess in the correct castle eventually

 

[Reenix]

I have deep, innate beliefs about emotional health and sex.

My evidence: About 90% of the teens I'm surrounded by who have had sex start behaving differently, in increasingly aloof ways, or become depressed. The teens who don't, don't.

Add in a pinch of religious beliefs.

Mix in a cups of parental stance mixed with parental respect.

End result: I'm waiting until I get married.

I feel so sorry for you.

Although what does parental respect have to do with NOT having sex? My parents let me have sex at 15 and I turned out marvellously. If I had been told not to have sex until marriage then I'd have gone mad since most of my friends are (rightfully) having sex.

Religious beliefs...not going there, being an agnostic.

 

[Yureina]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

This is pretty much where I sit as well. Even during my teen years this stuff was never very pressing. As time has gone on, it has become a much lesser concern for me to the point that at this moment, 4 weeks away from graduation, it has become almost a non-issue entirely.

Still, "social pressure" does seem to be out there, and so the result is I avoid discussion about this stuff with other people. This was especially true in my WoW days, where it seemed like everyone I knew was either obsessed or a deviant. I've never felt comfortable around such people, either because what they talked about just didn't fly well with me or because it genuinely disturbed me. It got me to leave several guilds because it would come up during ventrilo discussions during raids, and i'd rather not hear about people getting banged while i'm healing during ICC.

People have called me a prude in the past, but I think its more that I was just being accosted by some people who were sexually obsessed. Also, being an effective atheist, my own ideas also have nothing to do with religion. Perhaps upbringing, but it certainly is not based off of any theological concept.

I too I suppose am just waiting for actual love before this stuff starts becoming an occurance in my life. Anyone who decides to ask or pester me about it before that point are the types of people that I will kindly tell to bugger off. It's that simple.

 

[Reenix]

i guess my only advice would be to think about what you will regret more later in life. will you regret not having had sex as much as you could or will you regret having had sex with people you were not totally in love with. more than likely the first person you do have sex with will not be the person you spend the rest of your life with and there is no guarantee that you will ever meet such a person. on the other hand there are the obvious risks of having sex with multiple partners such as disease or having a child unexpectedly and then what if you do meet a girl that's forever and you regret not waiting or that you have some disease you have to tell her about. i think with either chose you will later feel some regret because with each chose your losing something. whatever decision you make make it your own without worry about what other people will think or who's doing what because those things dont matter. oh, and lastly no matter how young you are there is no guarantee that you will see a tomorrow. i'm not saying that to push you one way or another but i do think its something to think about.

1: Weighing up the risks = Good point.
2: Sexual diseases/children = I've had sex on average 2.2 times a day since I was 15 and I'm clean and childless. Condoms work, end of.
3: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF PINK FLUFFY THINGS PUNCTUATE

 

[lacktheknack]

I have deep, innate beliefs about emotional health and sex.

My evidence: About 90% of the teens I'm surrounded by who have had sex start behaving differently, in increasingly aloof ways, or become depressed. The teens who don't, don't.

Add in a pinch of religious beliefs.

Mix in a cups of parental stance mixed with parental respect.

End result: I'm waiting until I get married.

I feel so sorry for you.

Although what does parental respect have to do with NOT having sex? My parents let me have sex at 15 and I turned out marvellously. If I had been told not to have sex until marriage then I'd have gone mad since most of my friends are (rightfully) having sex.

Religious beliefs...not going there, being an agnostic.

So you missed the first part?

And parental respect = no sex because I respect my parents' pleas for me to wait.

I respect my parents a lot.

I think I feel sorry for you as well. Get the pity party ready!

 

[Ragsnstitches]

My opinion is it happens when it happens, I neither wait for it nor search for it. If I like a girl I will desire it, but by no means pursue it as most youths do. I'm only 21, and the majority of my friends think there is something wrong with me.

My own opinion on promiscuous teens is simply that they are overly exposed to it by mass media. Papers, magazines, TV, music, games blah blah blah, are been rubbed in the faces of kids from a young age. The natural desire associated with it is overwritten by a naive curiosity brought on by this over exposure. It also, somehow, rooted itself in most social structures. (the concept of "becoming a man" comes to mind in that regards).

Alas, its that persons prerogative to make such decisions. I would prefer these individuals at least vaguely understood the risks and consequences of recklessly flinging your dick around, but I can't influence that either.

Its a funny subject with tragic results when paired with ignorance.

 

[Reenix]

I'm interested to know why you feel sorry for me. Please do elaborate.

 

[lacktheknack]

2: Sexual diseases/children = I've had sex on average 2.2 times a day since I was 15

Wait... here's your bias.

Please don't feel sorry for me.

 

[Reenix]

It's more the religious thing I pity you for but I won't go there because it's a never-ending war.

 

[lacktheknack]

I'm interested to know why you feel sorry for me. Please do elaborate.

I actually have faith in the idea that love > sex.

I also believe that multiple partners damages capacity to love (I get this from watching peers).

Therefore, I feel that you will never experience true love.

<+1 "You're retarded" flame shield>

 

[Contextualizer]

I'm almost 19 and I agree, people are WAAAAYY too into the idea of getting laid. I mean, really, could it be that great? I don't think so, but I'm anti people. I hate the idea of having to worry about another person's satisfaction.

Sex really is that wonderful for me and my partner. But I'm more about the emotional and spiritual intimacy than just the physical enjoyment (although that in itself is immensely satisfying).

 

[VegetaPrinceofSaiyans]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

This is pretty much where I sit as well. Even during my teen years this stuff was never very pressing. As time has gone on, it has become a much lesser concern for me to the point that at this moment, 4 weeks away from graduation, it has become almost a non-issue entirely.

Still, "social pressure" does seem to be out there, and so the result is I avoid discussion about this stuff with other people. This was especially true in my WoW days, where it seemed like everyone I knew was either obsessed or a deviant. I've never felt comfortable around such people, either because what they talked about just didn't fly well with me or because it genuinely disturbed me. It got me to leave several guilds because it would come up during ventrilo discussions during raids, and i'd rather not hear about people getting banged while i'm healing during ICC.

People have called me a prude in the past, but I think its more that I was just being accosted by some people who were sexually obsessed. Also, being an effective atheist, my own ideas also have nothing to do with religion. Perhaps upbringing, but it certainly is not based off of any theological concept.

I too I suppose am just waiting for actual love before this stuff starts becoming an occurance in my life. Anyone who decides to ask or pester me about it before that point are the types of people that I will kindly tell to bugger off. It's that simple.

Who are you and why haven't i met you yet?

lol jk, but seriously everything you just said in that post essentially describes my views in a nutshell, reading it was almost surreal XD

 

[MrFluffy-X]

that will end when you get older and want to sex up every hottie you see

 

[Reenix]

I'm interested to know why you feel sorry for me. Please do elaborate.

I actually have faith in the idea that love > sex.

I also believe that multiple partners damages capacity to love (I get this from watching peers).

Therefore, I feel that you will never experience true love.

<+1 "You're retarded" flame shield>

That was going so well until the flame shield bit. I'd never dream of flaming; it's not the intelligent way, even if I staunchly disagree with someone.

I felt true love with my longest-term girlfriend, but unfortunately it ended when I left for University, and we were both damaged by it. I don't know about her, but I've certainly bounced back into committed relationships, although I'm sure I'm still a ways off feeling true love again.

And that's fine with me.

 

[conflictofinterests]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

This is pretty much where I sit as well. Even during my teen years this stuff was never very pressing. As time has gone on, it has become a much lesser concern for me to the point that at this moment, 4 weeks away from graduation, it has become almost a non-issue entirely.

Still, "social pressure" does seem to be out there, and so the result is I avoid discussion about this stuff with other people. This was especially true in my WoW days, where it seemed like everyone I knew was either obsessed or a deviant. I've never felt comfortable around such people, either because what they talked about just didn't fly well with me or because it genuinely disturbed me. It got me to leave several guilds because it would come up during ventrilo discussions during raids, and i'd rather not hear about people getting banged while i'm healing during ICC.

People have called me a prude in the past, but I think its more that I was just being accosted by some people who were sexually obsessed. Also, being an effective atheist, my own ideas also have nothing to do with religion. Perhaps upbringing, but it certainly is not based off of any theological concept.

I too I suppose am just waiting for actual love before this stuff starts becoming an occurance in my life. Anyone who decides to ask or pester me about it before that point are the types of people that I will kindly tell to bugger off. It's that simple.

Who are you and why haven't i met you yet?

lol jk, but seriously everything you just said in that post essentially describes my views in a nutshell, reading it was almost surreal XD

I find your points about not wanting to be pressured into things valid, and even people who DO have sex get annoyed at people who constantly talk about it all the time no matter what.

However, I still hold that the requirements for sex are trust and comfort with the other person, and that these requirements are necessary but insufficient for lifelong love.

 

[AMMO Kid]

If you really love the girl/guy for who they are more then anything else then there is no reason to have sex before marriage...but if you don;t give a crap then thats different lol