Am I Really the Minority When it Comes to Sex?

[lacktheknack]

Marrying a girl without a hymen would make the first night a LOT less panicky and jittery.

But would it be worth the eternal damnation? That's the million-pound question du jour.

...Instantly nullified by your total lack of ANY knowledge of how religion works.

I thought you weren't going to get into the whole "unending thread war" that is religion?

 

[Reenix]

I'm slightly on one due to an impending exam which I should be revising for.

Actually, I'm well aware of how it works (one of my best friends is a Christian with a degree in theology so I know quite a bit) but I just couldn't resist a one-liner.

 

[Yureina]

Arrr, all me want t' do is have sex Aye, me parrot concurs.

Way to lock your own chastity belt.

Arrr, don't make me strapped t'the masthead you Gar.

Way to throw away the key :3

pirates get no love....maybe i should be a ninja?

Ninja's smell.

 

[Reenix]

What about Ninja's smell? What quality of the smell belonging to Ninja are we discussing?

My point? Be a phoenix instead :3

 

[Skorpyo]

This doesn't mean you are uptight at all my friend, it just means you have a sense of honor, and a set of standards that you are willing to set yourself to.

Don't let statistics bother you.

 

[Rensenhito]

Well, to focus on myself for a second, here's my story: I nearly lost my virginity at age 16 with a girl I hardly knew. She was... a bit of a slut, to be honest. The only reason I didn't lose it then was because I was so nervous and it just didn't seem right.
Flash forward to age 18 (or, to be simpler, now). I've broken up with the slut because she was a slut and found someone else. I REALLY love this girl. Her roommate was away one weekend, and I got to sleep over. We swapped virginities the next morning, and because of that, that day was absolutely THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I don't regret doing it in the slightest degree. I'm EXTREMELY glad I found the right person to lose it to. I'm still with her, too. It's been just about a year and a half since we started dating, and we're still very much in love. My relationship with her has made the past year and a half THE BEST year and a half of my life.
So... what were we talking about again...?

 

[Sigel]

Schmeh...I have always thought sex was lots of fun with everyone. I guess I would suggest don't take it so seriously. Just have a good time with it and of course be safe about it. There are some skanky people out there.

 

[Tdc2182]

Just letting you know, that study is bullshit. The average teenager lies about losing their virginity from 15-17.

I'm 17 and most of my college mates are sexually active. It might seem unlikley but it is true.

Yet again, most teens lie about losing their virginity. The only state in America where that is true about people having sex earlier is in Texas.

Now you may be in one of the weird groups that is actually telling the truth, but think about this; How many of them do you know for sure are not virgins, and how many of them tend to be the jealous type.

 

[Enigma6667]

You're not alone, man. I completely agree, and I'm very close to 16.

 

[Sikachu]

Yes you are being uptight, no there's nothing wrong with that, just so long as you carry on (as you have been here) not trying to impose your opinion on everyone else.

Consider exploring this guy's [http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=4085701] advice on this kind of thing, he's pretty good at dealing with all the issues.

Here are all the back episodes of the podcast... [http://podcasts.thestranger.com/savagelove/archives.php]

 

[Reenix]

Just letting you know, that study is bullshit. The average teenager lies about losing their virginity from 15-17.

I'm 17 and most of my college mates are sexually active. It might seem unlikley but it is true.

Yet again, most teens lie about losing their virginity. The only state in America where that is true about people having sex earlier is in Texas.

Now you may be in one of the weird groups that is actually telling the truth, but think about this; How many of them do you know for sure are not virgins, and how many of them tend to be the jealous type.

You've clearly never been to the BRITISH South. Or watched an episode of Skins. It really is that bad over here. Make the most of the bad situation, I say...

 

[Ardna Xela]

I like the way you're thinking. When I was younger, I wanted to have sex as soon as possible, to be cool and mature, but now I'm proud that I'm almost 20 and still a virgin. I'm so glad that I was never attractive enough for any of those shallow assholes I knew in school, because else my virginity would've been long gone.
My first boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now, he's 21 and has never had sex either. We both wanted to wait until we met that "one" person and I'm quite sure that he is it. I've never trusted anyone so much like him, not even myself. He's always there for me when I need him, cheering me up when I feel depressed. OK, enough Off-Topic, I just wanted to say that I won't stay a virgin for long anymore and I'm glad that I've waited for this wonderful man.

 

[natural20]

You're certainly not the only one. Heck, I'm 25, I've been deeply in love, but I've always stuck to my principle that I need a ring before I'll give it up. My sister did the same.

 

[Souplex]

What does sex have to do with love anyway? It's fun, but can end in disaster if not properly handled. Simply handle it properly and you should be fine. I don't understand why you need to love someone to want to do something fun with them.

 

[BlindMessiah94]

A question I've been dwelling over for some time now. I'm sure we all have noticed the growing promiscuity of teenagers and I'm just wondering, why? Why is sex something that is sought out so much after by any means? It seems like average teen just wants to have sex as soon as possible and doesn't matter who it's with.

Now I'm not saying everyone is like this, just it seems that a lot of people (at least where I live) are.

I've never really been one for the whole sex thing. It's not that I'm gay, don't care or asexual even, I just want to wait for someone I love before I have sex. After reading a few studies and surveys showing that the average person loses their virginity between 15 -17, I can't help wonder if I'm really the only one who wants to wait or if I'm just missing out on it by being so uptight.

Now I will admit that I had sex once in my life. It ended horribly and I deeply regret because I was in love with the girl and it turned out, she didn't even remotely feel the same about me and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who feels it would be best to wait.

Please note that my feelings towards sex has absolutely nothing to do with any religious beliefs. I'm also not saying there should be a certain age or you should wait till marriage. Just until you're actually in love. Not the bullshit that teenagers feel when they like someone, but actual love.

So, Escapist, what are your thoughts on this? Am I just being uptight when it comes to the subject or am I in the right for thinking this?

I think its great that you want to wait, but know you might wait a long time.
I lost my virginity at 24, and I only did it because at that point I wanted to get it over with. It turned into this elephant in the room that was sabotaging my attempts with women. I regret doing it though, as it wasn't enjoyable, and didn't really even like the girl.

I think most people get it done in High School because of the pressure. I think in all honesty people have no business having sex when they are 15. If they are not old enough to deal with the responsibilities of pregnancy then they are not old enough to be having sex, period. If you can't deal with the potential consequences of a risk then you should not be taking them.

Besides, what is the rush? Sex is far better with someone whom you love and care about, and is way more meaningful. In all honesty I've had better masturbation sessions than my first time.

 

[Blatherscythe]

Now I don't want to do it with just "anybody" but yes sex is something I'd like to do as long as it's with the right person and if I have to wait well thats what internet pornography is for. As for why people want to have sex as quickly as possible, well it's just natures way of keeping the species going.

 

[daftalchemist]

I think being in the minority who doesn't have sex right away is the best minority to be in, and I also wonder if it isn't as small of a minority as most people suspect.

I chose to wait until I was 18 before I had sex, and even then I only did it because I was with a guy that I was very in love with. We were together for six months before our first time, so it wasn't a relationship based on sex either.

I can't see any point to having sex without emotion involved, but that could be my X chromosome acting up again. Honestly, it took my boyfriend and I so damn long to figure out how I worked and to get me to work properly on a regular basis that I just cannot imagine some random stranger being able to achieve the same effect in a single night. :/

Incidentally, I'm with the same guy to this day five years later. That's right, not only was I lame and didn't have sex until I was out of high school, but I've also only ever had sex with one person and intend on keeping it that way.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

We're just hormonally unstable.

 

[Sikachu]

Sex is 10% intercourse and 90% bragging to your friends. Puberty makes everyone get really into sex of course, and it becomes hyped. Hype makes things seem really great and since we were all really excited about it in the first place, it overwhelms us.

You're doing it very, very wrong. It shouldn't be more than 1% bragging, or more than about 60% intercourse, if you want to really enjoy yourselves. It is a bit like counterstrike - it takes a LOT of practise before you start having the real fun.

 

[Fingolfin High-King of the Noldor]

It's one of the largest ways to express emotions. Whether it is love or not is a different matter.