Not to flame everyone in this thread that says he's asexual but, honestly, isn't asexuality slowly becoming the cool kid's way of saying "Yeah I'm too much of a geek to get a girl"?
Being Asexual In A Sexual Society
- Thread starter Riku'sTwilight
- Start date
Recommended Videos
To be honest, the vast majority of people are deeply sexually motivated in a variety of ways. I can understand that to an asexual person, that might seem strange, but unfortunately, it's just the way we are.
As for you personally, your sexuality, or lack thereof, is only a small facet of what makes you who you are. Your lifestyle is your own business and your sexuality being different to mine doesn't give me licence to judge how you live your life.
As for you personally, your sexuality, or lack thereof, is only a small facet of what makes you who you are. Your lifestyle is your own business and your sexuality being different to mine doesn't give me licence to judge how you live your life.
Wow, you pretty much summed up everything I was going to say(except im bi and not hetero), good thing too cause now I don't have too.megaman24681012 said:
However, though im not interested in sexual relationships or relationships overall, I am bit selfsexual AND a bit asexual, a little confusing, I know.
Sexuality is quite complex, and there's a bunch of different things that get lumped under the label "asexual".
Some asexuals find sex disgusting; some find it simply uninteresting; some like people aesthetically but have no interest in the act. Some like one sex more than the other; some like both; some like neither or don't have any "like" to apply. Pretty much every interpretation presented in this thread is true - of a small proportion. Ultimately, asexuality is a perfectly valid orientation (or selection of orientations, even) and people claiming to be asexual may well be genuinely asexual - even if they admit to some sort of preference or activity. Though it's certainly possible that it's becoming a "trendy" label, too.
Myself, I'm somewhat like the opening poster. I don't usually think of myself as asexual, but I'm really not interested in sex (at age 18 I've never even had a crush, for example, though I like females aesthetically) and I sometimes get annoyed at the sexualisation of society.
Some asexuals find sex disgusting; some find it simply uninteresting; some like people aesthetically but have no interest in the act. Some like one sex more than the other; some like both; some like neither or don't have any "like" to apply. Pretty much every interpretation presented in this thread is true - of a small proportion. Ultimately, asexuality is a perfectly valid orientation (or selection of orientations, even) and people claiming to be asexual may well be genuinely asexual - even if they admit to some sort of preference or activity. Though it's certainly possible that it's becoming a "trendy" label, too.
Myself, I'm somewhat like the opening poster. I don't usually think of myself as asexual, but I'm really not interested in sex (at age 18 I've never even had a crush, for example, though I like females aesthetically) and I sometimes get annoyed at the sexualisation of society.
Meh. All these people with their problems. What shall we do?
BURRRNNNN MOTHERFUCKEERRSSS
Errr... yeah, I'm not a sociopath but sometimes I get carried away a bit. I am hetero, I like girls much, and I would definitely sleep with that one girl given the chance. "Just friends" my arse.
BURRRNNNN MOTHERFUCKEERRSSS
Errr... yeah, I'm not a sociopath but sometimes I get carried away a bit. I am hetero, I like girls much, and I would definitely sleep with that one girl given the chance. "Just friends" my arse.
OP, I respect and understand your plight. While, myself, I'm more of a sex addict, I do have friends who have no interest in sex. One has sworn off relationships (and she's the type that when she makes a decision, she sticks to it. She decided two years ago to work 2 full time jobs and she's still at it) My other friend simply has no interest in sex at all.
People believe I'm gay because I'm a muscular shaved headed guy who loves the sew. I've noticed there's a knee jerk reaction of "you're gay" to anyone out of the norm.
People believe I'm gay because I'm a muscular shaved headed guy who loves the sew. I've noticed there's a knee jerk reaction of "you're gay" to anyone out of the norm.
I personally thought it was If you have no interest in having a sexual or romantic relationship with anyone. So you would find someone attractve but wouldn't want to have a relationship.Novskij said:
It's like how some straight men love John Barrowman
As an asexual I can say, if I have sex I would be:
A) Very VERY bored.
B) Very stressed
C) Very drunk.
I have a no interest in alcohol so the third is unlikely.
A) Very VERY bored.
B) Very stressed
C) Very drunk.
I have a no interest in alcohol so the third is unlikely.
This made me think of an interview with Stephen Fry.
"Fry was, in fact, publicly celibate for many years, claiming disgust at the idea of ??rubbing the wet slimy bits?? over anyone else."
And now he has a partner. I dont think there is a real way to be asexual, just periods in your life in which you are. I just guess some people just tell themselves they are, to feel secure in their identity.
Of course, Im no expert. To quote the great Bertrand Russell, "I wouldnt die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong."
"Fry was, in fact, publicly celibate for many years, claiming disgust at the idea of ??rubbing the wet slimy bits?? over anyone else."
And now he has a partner. I dont think there is a real way to be asexual, just periods in your life in which you are. I just guess some people just tell themselves they are, to feel secure in their identity.
Of course, Im no expert. To quote the great Bertrand Russell, "I wouldnt die for my beliefs, because I might be wrong."
I can definitely sympathise with being asexual (i.e. not engaging in sexual activities with anyone but yourself, whatever the reason). Society is largely focused around the status game where the goal is to have sex with as many "hot" people as possible, have as many "cool" friends as possible and maintain an image of yourself as a socially adept person. For a large part of the world's population, this is all that life revolves around, particularly if you're young.
So, if you can manage without human companionship to a certain extent you can definitely save yourself a lot of headache and material wealth by simply being self-reliant. Obviously, I'm very much in favour of this, even though I'm personally not asexual, though I don't value sex nearly as much as most people probably do.
So, if you can manage without human companionship to a certain extent you can definitely save yourself a lot of headache and material wealth by simply being self-reliant. Obviously, I'm very much in favour of this, even though I'm personally not asexual, though I don't value sex nearly as much as most people probably do.
I wouldn't want someone who's perfect.. Thinking someone is just a perfect person would mean that you consider them to have the best qualities possible. This would mean the person would.. well.. dominate you. I hate to be dominated. I have to be better at the things I find important for myself. In a good love-relationship one completes the other. Just to name one example of mine, I love debating and am celebrated for it where I live. My boyfriend is very insecure in debates and is in general avoiding it if possible. To him, sport is important and he's a much better sportsman than I. The things we are better at are important to us, and I would never want to date someone with the same good qualities as I, not to mention being better at it, as opposed to having different qualities that I would find admirable in someone else. I'm sorry I'm starting to ramble (I can't concentrate, that's another thing that's reverse in my partner). Let me see.. Another, shorter, way of making it clear could be that I am what you can call as a romantic term a 'hunter', when it comes to finding a potential lover, whereas he would be considered 'prey'. God that sounds kind of like rape but I hope you understand the point I'm trying to make. You see, I don't think he's the perfect person.. He's just perfect FOR ME, and he can make me feel like the happiest person in the world, so please reconsider.. Or something..Riku said:
I don't know the average age here, but it would seem much of these posts come from teenagers. I suppose much of this won't apply if you've not gone through puberty yet, but if you are still 'asexual'* beyond the age of, say, 18 (and that's pushing it!) I would be questioning if something is wrong.
There may be medical (psychological or physical) reasons why you're not experiencing a desire for intimate relationship(s). It's something you should probably talk to a medical professional about, at least if it's truly the case you don't have sexual urges. Most humans (of both sexes) don't loose their desire for sex until well into middle / old age (40+) and many - especially males - not until much, much later.
Of course, if you have those desires but are unable to fulfil them (e.g. cannot get a guy/girl, cannot get it up etc.), that's a different problem all together! Of course, you could also have a low sex drive - thats 'normal' too - but you should have one! [No pun intended]
As someone else pointed out, humans are sexual creatures. Indeed we're genetically programmed to be so. There are many benefits of an active sex life beyond the orgasms. Your immune system is boosted, you will sleep better, you will be generally fitter and overall a more content person due to endorphins released which last both long and short term. If you lack the desire to attain those benefits (and that desire is expressed by arousal), I would say its likely there is something wrong!
If you're in a stable relationship there are also benefits for your emotional well-being which come from sex with your partner(s) (especially if its only 1 other). You simply cannot experience the contentedness you can feel after sex if you don't have it. Moments where simply lying with (holding, hugging, caressing or just being next to) your partner leave you filled with a joy and well-being you simply cannot get without having just had sex with them. Those moments are, according to some psychologists, the ones which form the strong bonds that take your relationship from being meerly friendship and addressing a need to one where you actually feel and understand the meaning of love.
I appreciate people may choose not to be sexually active, but that choice should generally be because they wish to overcome the desire for some reason, not because they do not have it!
* - (Note this is not the correct term - you're talking about a lack of sexual desire, which is something different)
There may be medical (psychological or physical) reasons why you're not experiencing a desire for intimate relationship(s). It's something you should probably talk to a medical professional about, at least if it's truly the case you don't have sexual urges. Most humans (of both sexes) don't loose their desire for sex until well into middle / old age (40+) and many - especially males - not until much, much later.
Of course, if you have those desires but are unable to fulfil them (e.g. cannot get a guy/girl, cannot get it up etc.), that's a different problem all together! Of course, you could also have a low sex drive - thats 'normal' too - but you should have one! [No pun intended]
As someone else pointed out, humans are sexual creatures. Indeed we're genetically programmed to be so. There are many benefits of an active sex life beyond the orgasms. Your immune system is boosted, you will sleep better, you will be generally fitter and overall a more content person due to endorphins released which last both long and short term. If you lack the desire to attain those benefits (and that desire is expressed by arousal), I would say its likely there is something wrong!
If you're in a stable relationship there are also benefits for your emotional well-being which come from sex with your partner(s) (especially if its only 1 other). You simply cannot experience the contentedness you can feel after sex if you don't have it. Moments where simply lying with (holding, hugging, caressing or just being next to) your partner leave you filled with a joy and well-being you simply cannot get without having just had sex with them. Those moments are, according to some psychologists, the ones which form the strong bonds that take your relationship from being meerly friendship and addressing a need to one where you actually feel and understand the meaning of love.
I appreciate people may choose not to be sexually active, but that choice should generally be because they wish to overcome the desire for some reason, not because they do not have it!
* - (Note this is not the correct term - you're talking about a lack of sexual desire, which is something different)
Biologically speaking, you're using the wrong term. Asexual means "not sexed" or "without a sex". Some worm species and plant species are asexual, as are some single celled organism.
You're just not jazzed about sex, and I can dig that. Sex is just ONE aspect of life, just ONE part of a world that is filled with so many other things. Sex is nice and all, but the way some people go bananas over it is just silly to me, and a sign of a very shallow mentality.
Just as some people are born with a very high sex drive, some people are born with a very low or nearly non-existent sex drive. It's cool man, it's how you want to live your life, and there's nothing wrong with it.
Society is sex-obsessed, clearly. But I mostly ignore it. Is it doing "damage" to our society? No not really - the urges are biological, and our genome hasn't changed significantly for hundreds of thousands, if not 1+ million years. A sex-obsessed society can be bad, but sexual repression of the likes seen in Saudi Arabia is even worse.
Just relax and chill out. So what if 90% of humanity attaches undue importance to sex? That doesn't make them bad people.
You're just not jazzed about sex, and I can dig that. Sex is just ONE aspect of life, just ONE part of a world that is filled with so many other things. Sex is nice and all, but the way some people go bananas over it is just silly to me, and a sign of a very shallow mentality.
Just as some people are born with a very high sex drive, some people are born with a very low or nearly non-existent sex drive. It's cool man, it's how you want to live your life, and there's nothing wrong with it.
Society is sex-obsessed, clearly. But I mostly ignore it. Is it doing "damage" to our society? No not really - the urges are biological, and our genome hasn't changed significantly for hundreds of thousands, if not 1+ million years. A sex-obsessed society can be bad, but sexual repression of the likes seen in Saudi Arabia is even worse.
Just relax and chill out. So what if 90% of humanity attaches undue importance to sex? That doesn't make them bad people.
i respect your axesuality even if i don't understand it in any way
the best moments of my life have been sexual or culminated in sex
there's something a woman can bring you that completes you in a way
not in the soppy romantic way
but in a fulfilling, 'mission accomplished' way
the best moments of my life have been sexual or culminated in sex
there's something a woman can bring you that completes you in a way
not in the soppy romantic way
but in a fulfilling, 'mission accomplished' way
how can anyone be a sexual....can't you get your dick up or something? (serious question pardon the language)
I mean its probably highly unnatural as you will not reproduce thus not make new mini me's thus not transfer DNA (which is basically the essence of life until we know why the hell we are here)
I mean its probably highly unnatural as you will not reproduce thus not make new mini me's thus not transfer DNA (which is basically the essence of life until we know why the hell we are here)
