Best piece of random advice possible

[Sparrow]

Don't fuck up, or you're fucked. Up.

[sup]I should do fortune cookies...[/sup]

 

[Little Duck]

Never forget: the duck is watching you.

He must be... eliminated.

 

[Noxshadow]

The fatter you are the more bulletproof you are

Mythbusters proved this to be filthy, filthy lies.

 

[PoliceBox63]

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

 

[DethVanXan]

Some advise my friend gave me when I first hooked up with a girl.
"If you see a whip; Run!"

Also, "A crack means it's far away. A whiz means it's close." when you're being shot at.

 

[ScarletRider]

Don't sweat the small stuff.

If she's worth angsting over, she's worth walking over and inviting her to have coffee with you. At the very least.

Hearts were made to be broken. The trick is putting them back stronger than before.

 

[Samuel Cook]

"You can never have too much rope."

It's what I live by. Both in a metaphorical and practical sense. I work on the river, and when I'm moving barge form A to B, I need rope, and if I don't have it then I'm screwed.

Also, if you try to hang yourself with a short rope, then you wont get the momentum needed to snap your neck. True story.

 

[Mythbhavd]

Give your best piece of random advice possible!

Given to me by a customer in a restaurant, "Don't wash your genitalia with Lava soap."

 

[Jimmydanger]

Every time you hear yourself saying "Hey guys, watch this!" Stop and reconsider what you are about to do.

 

[ScarletRider]

"You can never have too much rope."

It's what I live by. Both in a metaphorical and practical sense. I work on the river, and when I'm moving barge form A to B, I need rope, and if I don't have it then I'm screwed.

http://www.wilsontactical.com/para-cord-hw.aspx <-- Will this do?

Another piece of advice: Always keep a blade handy. A stiff key might work in a pinch, depending on the job.

 

[UberNoodle]

Don't base your life on how many poeple you end up having sex with? ...

 

[Joe Deadman]

Every problem can be solved by the right application of explosives, wd40 or duct tape.
If you have to use them all, then god help us all.

 

[Dendio]

You cannot stop change
You can mold and place influence on change, but you cannot stop it
Change happens whether you ignore it or otherwise

 

[UberNoodle]

History doesn't repeat but it echoes

 

[Darth_Dude]

It's like my third grade teacher always use to say "you show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."

0.o

What??

 

[Israirie]

Don't hold a candle if you don't know where it's been.

 

[SnipErlite]

Never trust a man who, when left alone with a lampshade, does not try it on as a hat.

 

[Tharwen]

Don't eat yellow snow.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

I advise you to ignore this advice