Best piece of random advice possible

[AbsoluteVirtue18]

If you don't want to work, you can always bang on the drum all day.

That's not really advice, and I got it from a song, but I would think it means "Relax. Don't sweat over trivial stuff. Play some games..."

Do it now!

Or, of course:

Don't stop me now, because I'm having a good time.

 

[Monkeylord]

Don't put sour cream in the microwave

 

[Yumi_and_Erea]

Beware of any food that has to misspell it's alleged main ingredient to avoid a false advertising lawsuit.

 

[Silent Eagle]

If you throw a grenade at someone,pull the pin first.

 

[Sebenko]

Leave no survivors. Unless they have children called Inigo Montoya.

 

[Vitor Goncalves]

Leave the internet now and go outside enjoy the world.

 

[gibboss28]

Don't eat yellow snow.

Always treat your neighbor as someone who lives near you.

Don't ever click a link that has tubgirl in the url.

Theres three for ya.

 

[Daniel_Rosamilia]

Although they may be right, never admit that the cake is a lie!

 

[Scaredpanther0101]

To quote Ross Noble "Never put a blanket on an owl"

 

[bluepilot]

Always wear clean underwear because you never know when you might get hit by a car, and you`d die of shame if people saw you wearing dirty underwear.

 

[Biosophilogical]

Don't put sour cream in the microwave

Don't put snails in the microwave (my source is a friend's friend's friend, which is, coincidentally, my friend)

OT: Nothing says 'You mean business' like a palm-sized card with your contact details.

 

[ScruffyTheJanitor]

Most things are not, in fact, anything near 9000.

 

[rabidmidget]

If you have no standards, you can never be disappointed

 

[XJ-0461]

"Always bring a banana to a party."

Guess where I stole this from.

 

[Queen Michael]

One word: Batman.

 

[rabidmidget]

Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Black Books is awesome

 

[Kaltazraza]

A bacteria can under optimal conditions grow someting like 24750000000000000000000 times its own size in a day, and would then weight 1000 tons.
If you meet me in a dark alley, RUN!!!

 

[Noxshadow]

Do not masturbate while ill.

 

[blankedboy]

Don't put your hand anywhere you wouldn't put your dick.