Can someone recommend me a good sex sim?

[littlealicewhite]

Hmm... Awkward... for other people? Once I posed a question to some of my classmates during downtime in high school: Presuming that reincarnation and time-travel are possible, if you went back in time and had sex with your previous reincarnation, would that be necrophilia or narcissism?

Yes, some of their reactions were quite hilarious.

 

[Caradinist]

To answer your question, Mass Effect is an excellent sex simulator, and it also doubles as a rape simulator, according to news sources.

 

[blarghblarghhhhh]

A gf who loved some anime i can't remember the name and almost never talked to me the 9 months we say each other but she would do nothing but meow even during sex. Nothing more akward than a friend in the next room hearing a woman meow till she cums. Harder to explain also.

Are you sure she wasn't actually a cat? :3

besides she didnt like it in the cat if you catch my drift =X

no idea what your talking about.

 

[Macheteswordgun]

A gf who loved some anime i can't remember the name and almost never talked to me the 9 months we say each other but she would do nothing but meow even during sex. Nothing more akward than a friend in the next room hearing a woman meow till she cums. Harder to explain also.

Are you sure she wasn't actually a cat? :3

besides she didnt like it in the cat if you catch my drift =X

no idea what your talking about.

Something on a girl thats called a cat

 

[Irridium]

Well I caused an awkward situation once. I was at a mall with my friends, and we saw some couple making out. And they were just going at it.

So what do I do? I walk up really close, and start breathing heavily. I even offered some suggestions.

And then they acted like I was an asshole. I was just a viewer who was interested is all.

A gf who loved some anime i can't remember the name and almost never talked to me the 9 months we say each other but she would do nothing but meow even during sex. Nothing more akward than a friend in the next room hearing a woman meow till she cums. Harder to explain also.

Are you sure she wasn't actually a cat? :3

besides she didnt like it in the cat if you catch my drift =X

no idea what your talking about.

Her pussy. He's talking about her pussy.

 

[WildSeraph]

Friend: "Dude, is your sister hot?"
Me: "Um...she is my sister,...and twelve."
Friend: "...So is she hot?"

That's happened to me. Only my sister was TEN at the time.

The most awkward conversation I've had would probably be when my dad found... explicit furry images in Internet Explorer's browsing history. I would never touch that crap (I mean, seriously. Internet Explorer!? Disgusting!), but I had recently had a friend over... And I knew he was into that sort of thing. Dad, of course, blamed it on me, and I had to spend half an hour explaining to him that it was the friend that my parents have grown to love like another son after about 14 years. It was pretty weird, to say the least...

The runner up would probably be when my cousin saw my Facebook profile, and how it had 'Men' checked in the 'Interested In...' selection, and promptly called the rest of the family to tell EVERYONE. Let me tell you, of all the ways to come out of the closet to your parents, that would have to be the WORST. Telling the internet before telling my family was my most regretted action ever.

 

[Futurenerd]

That's kind of cruel. I think if I were that guy I would have just punched you.
OT, probably the only really awkward moment I've had is when my mom found out I watched porn and she was like "And in these videos you watch, are the women alone or do are there men with them doing things with them?"
I was like, "2 things,
1: I've had the talk.
2: I watch porn. I know what goes on in porn."

 

[theonlyblaze2]

Friend: "Dude, is your sister hot?"
Me: "Um...she is my sister,...and twelve."
Friend: "...So is she hot?"

That's happened to me. Only my sister was TEN at the time.

The most awkward conversation I've had would probably be when my dad found... explicit furry images in Internet Explorer's browsing history. I would never touch that crap (I mean, seriously. Internet Explorer!? Disgusting!), but I had recently had a friend over... And I knew he was into that sort of thing. Dad, of course, blamed it on me, and I had to spend half an hour explaining to him that it was the friend that my parents have grown to love like another son after about 14 years. It was pretty weird, to say the least...

The runner up would probably be when my cousin saw my Facebook profile, and how it had 'Men' checked in the 'Interested In...' selection, and promptly called the rest of the family to tell EVERYONE. Let me tell you, of all the ways to come out of the closet to your parents, that would have to be the WORST. Telling the internet before telling my family was my most regretted action ever.

Yeah, I loaned my buddy my labtop for a week, and it came back filled to the brims with porn. And not normal porn, oh no! Hardcore furry, hentai, pedophile, lesbian, gay, bondage, vomit porn. Two weeks to find and destroy it all.

 

[Ninonybox_v1legacy]

Back when i was in middle school me and my friends (1 guy and 2 girls) where talking about masturbation, sex, and all around dirty stuff at lunch. During this conversation my rival (well....not so much rival as "the guy i just don't like" and vise versa) overhears our conversation and states "yeah....one time i was humping my bed and my mom came in and i saw her, but i just kept humping my bed".......and he just walked away......leaving us all shocked and disturbed.....and then massive lulz where had.

 

[Irridium]

Friend: "Dude, is your sister hot?"
Me: "Um...she is my sister,...and twelve."
Friend: "...So is she hot?"

That's happened to me. Only my sister was TEN at the time.

The most awkward conversation I've had would probably be when my dad found... explicit furry images in Internet Explorer's browsing history. I would never touch that crap (I mean, seriously. Internet Explorer!? Disgusting!), but I had recently had a friend over... And I knew he was into that sort of thing. Dad, of course, blamed it on me, and I had to spend half an hour explaining to him that it was the friend that my parents have grown to love like another son after about 14 years. It was pretty weird, to say the least...

The runner up would probably be when my cousin saw my Facebook profile, and how it had 'Men' checked in the 'Interested In...' selection, and promptly called the rest of the family to tell EVERYONE. Let me tell you, of all the ways to come out of the closet to your parents, that would have to be the WORST. Telling the internet before telling my family was my most regretted action ever.

Yeah, I loaned my buddy my labtop for a week, and it came back filled to the brims with porn. And not normal porn, oh no! Hardcore furry, hentai, pedophile, lesbian, gay, bondage, vomit porn. Two weeks to find and destroy it all.

My friend did that to me once, only on my main PC.

I nuked the hard drive.

 

[Macheteswordgun]

I thought of something that would probably be awkward to someone who wasn't me or in my group of friends.

We had a conversation at school over lunch about whether you not you would have sex with a girl in the eye socket, assuming the eye was removed beforehand (eg glass eye) and you wouldn't like, you know, poke her in the brain and kill her.

This conversation went on for a long time and was split about 40/60 to do/not do. Good times.

Something on a girl thats called a cat

Buttsecks is awesome.

'

^ Qft my friend Qft all the way

 

[lacktheknack]

I was there when my friend's Dad was in an at-home business meeting, when my friend ran in and yelled "Dad! Dad! I broke my G-string!"

On her guitar, of course. Much terror and laughter followed ("Really! I can show you if you want!").

I love your topics, by the way.

 

[Jake Stavroff]

My friend once asked me, in the presence of other people "If you lose your penis in life, do you get a new one if you go to heaven?" Everyone looked at him and then looked at me to see what I would say. I asked him "Why, is this relevant to your personal life?"
The moron stopped the conversation there, after everyone finished snickering.

 

[WildSeraph]

Ooh, I also remember having some sick conversations in the presence of our teacher in anthropology class last semester. They included the definition of donkey punching, and the best way to rape one of the people my friend thought was really cute. We got some weird looks in that class...

One of my friends from anthropology is now in my art class, but the most awkward thing we've talked about in that class was a quote from a Hello Kitty Online gameplay video. "That red chick in the background is pretty hot. But she's like eight. So that's not very good."

 

[blarghblarghhhhh]

A gf who loved some anime i can't remember the name and almost never talked to me the 9 months we say each other but she would do nothing but meow even during sex. Nothing more akward than a friend in the next room hearing a woman meow till she cums. Harder to explain also.

Are you sure she wasn't actually a cat? :3

besides she didnt like it in the cat if you catch my drift =X

no idea what your talking about.

Something on a girl thats called a cat

nope. still not getting it.

 

[blarghblarghhhhh]

Well I caused an awkward situation once. I was at a mall with my friends, and we saw some couple making out. And they were just going at it.

So what do I do? I walk up really close, and start breathing heavily. I even offered some suggestions.

And then they acted like I was an asshole. I was just a viewer who was interested is all.

A gf who loved some anime i can't remember the name and almost never talked to me the 9 months we say each other but she would do nothing but meow even during sex. Nothing more akward than a friend in the next room hearing a woman meow till she cums. Harder to explain also.

Are you sure she wasn't actually a cat? :3

besides she didnt like it in the cat if you catch my drift =X

no idea what your talking about.

Her pussy. He's talking about her pussy.

ohhhhhhh. i get it now. haha...

 

[Murais]

So, I have a pretty high tolerance for this kind of stuff. My friends and I (mixed group) talk about this stuff all the time. Masturbation preferences. Fetishes. What turns you on during sex. It's pretty much not taboo at all. Hell, we had a good 45-min long conversation about whether or not it was ok to have sex with a mentally handicapped person. Or what the most epic thing to yell out during orgasm would be.

That being said, there's some shit even I couldn't handle. I remember back in elementary school (sixth grade), I was kind of a shy and not very well-liked kid. Nobody really talked to me. And then this kid, who I barely knew (but later became a friend of mine) said "Hey... do you have big nuts, but a little dick?". That was it. No punch line. Nothing afterward. Just asking the phenotype of my balls and dick.

I just had no clue how to respond. I walked away, white-faced.

EDIT: Oh, and one of my teachers in high school had to explain to me what a 'gang bang' was. He has a doctorate in History. And is an award-winning author. And academically lauded. And this was an all-boys Catholic school. Fun times.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Im one of those people.

Inevitably, after any one of my friends speaks of their significant other I ask "So... Did you fuck her in the butt?"

and they groan.

And I giggle over how sexually repressed they are.