I feel the same as the OT. It doesn't matter is it's just a spur of the moment lust that takes hold of you, you're breaking a commitment to someone who cares for you a lot.
Cheating in relationships: your views?
- Thread starter Vanguard_Ex
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I think we can all agree cheating is bad, so this topic is kinda redundant.
and if I find out someone was cheating on me I'll become the biggest douchebag in their life.
and if I find out someone was cheating on me I'll become the biggest douchebag in their life.
As I see it, if you really cared about the other person, and they cared about you, then they wouldn't cheat. If you mean having sex with someone else but with the consent of your partner, for whatever reason, then I guess it's ok. Something like that happened in Eureka because hubby was blind and couldn't bang his wife, so he looked the other way when she was doing some other bloke. They were still 'in love', they just didn't have sex with each other. It all depends on the relationship methinks mayhaps.
Not necessarily. Read through and you'll see that some people don't even acknowledge cheating as an issue.megaman24681012 said:
If you say so my man. If it helps, the more hardships people have faced, the higher respect I have for them. Which puts you somewhere up in the stratosphere.SODAssault said:
And thank you, I was hoping it would at least produce some good discussion.
No worries man, I do stupider things every day on this forum.megaman24681012 said:
EDIT: Example: stupider isn't even a word. Hur derp.
"Cheating" only happens when there is an agreement about expectations, and one person violates that agreement.
In many relationships, the people involved do not spend enough time explicitly talking about their expectations - and this is where people run into significant trouble. Expectations are very tricky things...
In many relationships, the people involved do not spend enough time explicitly talking about their expectations - and this is where people run into significant trouble. Expectations are very tricky things...
Very true, an excellent point. Everything only exists within boundaries.Mr. Strange said:
By the way guys, I thank every one of you who's posted in here. You've provided so much thought-provoking discussion and even helped me learn more about myself.
I don't believe you should find it "disgusting". Just going to take a candid look at the motives common to cheaters (to my knowledge).Vanguard_Ex said:
1: Because the opportunity presents. Very hurtful. Quite rare for an adult to cheat for this reason. Nevertheless, an objective onlooker ought to remember that only an idiot believes they're above straight-forward cheating. Being complimented by a flirtatious co-worker (just for example) can be a huge ego boost with an immense feel-good factor (habitual compliments between partners often cease to produce this feeling). The victim is allowed to waive objectivity, but anybody else can see how flirting back to garner more nice comments could eventually lure one in to more and more vulnerable(risky) positions.
If you're the victim of this kind if cheating, go ahead and have at them like it's their fault. It is their fault. But leave your high horse in its clouded stable. You are every bit as vulnerable to the same or a similar chain of events as they are, and if you claim otherwise you're just a dirty liar to boot.
Or
2: He/She has wanted to end it for some time, but didn't want to hurt you or was afraid to tell you, eventually became so desperate that he/she started living the single life *around* you. In my experience- which is two occasions- the most common. Easily forgivable- except by vindictive, petulant asswipes.
Or
3: You're judgemental and uncooperative with his/her sexual kinks. he/she is perhaps emotionally satisfied by you and doesn't want to call it off, but he/she neither can nor should be expected to go forever without getting their funky fix. Be an adult, experiment, agree to try anything once- or do the decent thing and end your relationship immediately, for their sake.
Or
4: Your relationship has been suffering for some time. He/she was grabbing happiness wherever he/she could get it. Maybe they're susceptible to depression and maybe they weren't coping as well as you were, or maybe they really don't love you as much as you love them. None of these things is disgusting. Them's just the breaks.
... What I'm trying to get across is that a simple "that's disgusting" pretty much never applies to an incident of cheating. If you believe you're above it, therefore *everybody* could and should be, then good for you. I guess. I don't believe you, but good for you.
"Treat other people the way you want to be treated"- a rule we all learned in 2nd grade.
If you dont like getting cheated on dont do it to others. If you really wanna cheat just break up with your spouse/partner and start dating the other. Nothing good comes from cheating (aside from sex)
If you dont like getting cheated on dont do it to others. If you really wanna cheat just break up with your spouse/partner and start dating the other. Nothing good comes from cheating (aside from sex)
If you're really that torn between two people, or want both, you shouldn't be in a relationship to begin with.
Maybe try dating the other person if you're hell bent on dating 'em, but cheating is absolutely despicable in my eyes.
Maybe try dating the other person if you're hell bent on dating 'em, but cheating is absolutely despicable in my eyes.
i rarely get involved in a relationship, since i still want to play the field. i will never commit myself to a person unless i only want to be with them. a relationship is a trust in the other person that they will hold you on a higher level than they do others, and you give them your word that you will do the same. i'm not the relationship type-i tend to go out with multiple people at the same time, but i don't make promises to the contrary. sleeping with multiple people isn't an issue unless you have made that promise and broken it. then, it's deplorable and the person who does it deserves to be celibate for the rest of his/her life.
If you care enough about a person to stay with them even with their flaws, then that's true love. It doesn't matter about what dangles between your legs (or doesn't dangle, as the case may be.) and what you do with it. My statement only stands of course, if that's what the relationship is, if you've agreed on something else, no matter how foolish, that is your bond. Then it's not about biology, then it's about lying.Vanguard_Ex said:
I'm having a hard time trying to decide the nature of your post...you seem like you're trying to call me a liar.Candidus said:
I find the act of having sex with somebody else whilst you are in a committed relationship disgusting. I can't explain the intricate reasons behind this because frankly, I don't have a clue. I just do, I find it repulsive and I won't even sarcastically apologise if you can't understand this.
Let me tell you a little story though: until recently I was in a long distance relationship which won't be commented further upon. Basically, I have been at a party, slightly tipsy but not enough to be a major factor, with a girl sat opposite me on a pool table tugging at my jeans pestering me to forget about my girlfriend who was 420 miles away at the time. This particular girl was shot down.
I am above such a juvenile lack of self-control and commitment to my self, as well as another soul.
You don't have to believe me, I know that I wouldn't do something which I find so vile.