Cheating in relationships: your views?

[NoNameMcgee]

I think cheating is wrong but I have no problem with my girlfriend if she tells me she wants to fuck someone else. We talk and discuss if one of us wants to sleep with someone else and its fine. The love in our relationship isn't built around sex, sex is a physical act that we both enjoy. The love we have for each other comes from being together, doing things together, talking and interacting with each other.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

On the other hand I am single at the moment and generally I base these things around who I am with, what she is comfortable with. Open relationships are nice, closed ones are nice too, I am happy with either and I wouldn't do anything she didn't want.

Of course that isn't really classed as cheating. Cheating is breaking trust, and if a partner does trust me to be with only her, if I broke that promise it would be very wrong and I'd never do that because I respect my girlfriends.

To be honest, monogamy isn't something that has to be important for anyone who is open-minded enough to realize it is an archaic concept

 

[Solemn Soup]

Cheating is bad, no point in being in a relationship if your going to cheat, thats why you make the relationship, so that you can bond with that significant person, so why cheat?

 

[Readial]

And I thought they were only cheats on Video Games, but I digress as this is a real issue among couples nowadays.

OT: Cheating is bad and well, a huge blow to both sides, the one cheating loses the trust of the partner and the other has to deal with the impact of the choices their partner has made. And this usually ends in separation, ie. Break up or Divorce.

This can be avoided if one ie. Friend, would take the time to talk that particular person and discuss whats wrong in the marriage or relationship, because all you might find out from the other person might be that they need to lay it off their chest and sometimes that friend might have a solution that might help them stay together.

Either that or just pay a counselor to figure things out.

 

[Chainsauce]

Too me anyone who cheats is a complete asshole.

Also, having sex with someone else while in an open realtionship does not count as cheating.

 

[DarkDain]

Thats correct. That and death. But it doesnt mean you cant have a separation for other reasons.

Well I know you can get a divorce for other reasons, it's just that you're not supposed to... but the first thing I think of is "What if your partner is abusive?" I think God would understand...

Can get a separation in that case, if they cheat on you after that, you can get a divorce. Otherwise separation might give the guy time to think on how he acts. But thats just the bibles rules, and in that case the guy should know better anyways.

 

[Ickorus]

I've written and re-written a reply to this thread multiple times but I find it impossible to explain what a relationship truly is suffice to say it's about trust, when you cheat on someone you betray that trust they put in you and in my opinion is a terrible, unforgivable act.

I don't know if it's the same for others but when I get into a relationship I give that person my heart and my trust to keep it safe, if they betray that trust by sleeping with someone else or juggling me with someone else they shatter that trust and it can be so hard for you to build yourself up enough to either trust that person again or trust another person.

I've been cheated on before, both of them wanted me but also wanted more than just me, it shatters your confidence and leaves you unable to trust another that much again for a very long time. I'd never cheat on another person, I know how painful it is.

 

[ezeroast]

No cheating no excuses. Being drunk is not an excuse

 

[SovietSecrets]

Cheating is horrid. Just shows how much you really care about the person you are with.

 

[Biosophilogical]

I've never been in a relationship, but I find that I'm a very open person. As long as they told me and it wasn't done in a spiteful way I imagine I'd be fine with it. For me, if I ever get into a relationship it will be about the emotional aspect, after all, anyone can fuck someone, but not everyone can form a deep emotional attachment with that person, so the thing that separates satisfying biological urges and an actual relationship is the psychological side (in case you haven't guessed, despite being a virgin, I don't place much value in sex).

 

[smashmaniac64]

bad
its a break of trust and i think a relationship should be between two people

 

[Ashsaver]

I hate cheating in relationships.

This was on news yesterday: Apparently a guy has been tricking his wife into feeding him money for 10 years (he tricked her into thinking that he need helps),The wife discovered later that the man not only has a new girlfriend,but they're also had children together,what worst is the man's parents keep this fact hidden from her,and the man used all the money she feed him to build his own family..with that new girlfriend.

Now the wife is left with nothing but debt and broken heart,the news didn't say anything about what the wife would do,though i hope that she sue the man....lawsuit up the ass.

 

[Cavouku]

I believe that a person is defined by their control over their instincts and actions, that we have the option. I would never take being a creature as an excuse. In fact, I recall something in wiki saying something about how we don't have mating seasons because humans form pair bonds...

"...permanent secondary sexual characteristics, the forming of pair bonds based on sexual attraction as a common social structure and sexual ability in females outside of ovulation. "

I may be wrong. Either way, I believe one's romantic relationship is one of the most important events in a person's life, so it should be treated with the utmost respect.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

2: He/She has wanted to end it for some time, but didn't want to hurt you or was afraid to tell you, eventually became so desperate that he/she started living the single life *around* you. In my experience- which is two occasions- the most common. Easily forgivable- except by vindictive, petulant asswipes.

"I lied to you so I could fuck someone else while still reaping all the benefits of our relationship, but I did it because I didn't want to hurt you." Sorry if not buying that line of bullshit makes me a "vindictive, petulant asswipe." What you've described is a rationalization that an adulterer would tell to their friends in order to keep them from being viewed as "that cheating piece of shit". Never mind the fact that the situation (if it played out exactly as you described, rather than being an "I had no choice" excuse) resulted from the adulterer's cowardice.

By the way, I love your assertion that it's unrealistic to, in your words, "think you're above it and believe everybody else should be", and then turn around and say "you're all as flawed as I am". Assuming that nobody could be better than you is equally as arrogant as believing yourself to be better than everyone else, and to claim that only one of them is true is absolutely hypocritical.

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I've never been in a relationship, but I find that I'm a very open person. As long as they told me and it wasn't done in a spiteful way I imagine I'd be fine with it. For me, if I ever get into a relationship it will be about the emotional aspect, after all, anyone can fuck someone, but not everyone can form a deep emotional attachment with that person, so the thing that separates satisfying biological urges and an actual relationship is the psychological side (in case you haven't guessed, despite being a virgin, I don't place much value in sex).

Here's the thing though: sex can't always be separated from emotion. I don't care how much people say it's just a biological function.

When an orgasm occurs, the body releases oxytocin. It's a hormone that increases emotional bonding, and is actually released by mothers when they nurse their children. So by having sex with someone and cumming, you strengthen your EMOTIONAL ties to them.

 

[SpireOfFire]

if i find out my girl is cheating or has cheated on me i say this: "lets find out what takes less time: you packing your shit, leaving my life and never coming back or me getting getting my gun."

there is no excuse for cheating. and to me, its also unforgivable. no second chances, no tearful confession, apology, and forgiveness, no makeup sex, nothing. you fucked up, you're gone, period.

 

[Caligulove]

I think that it CAN be forgiven.

But that would have to be a very specific scenario.
Most of the time, though, its a deal-breaker