Cthulthu is trying to kill you.

[c0ld3r]

Grab a steak knife and go to war on his shins until he gets tired of my crap and kills me to death.

 

[Energylegzz]

Set myself on fire. That is all

 

[rampantcreature]

Tell him to take me first. Less pain that way.

Unless I could get to Antartica...I hear the Shoggoths keep it in good order. Oh wait...is it a real Cthulhu or a Shoggoth Cthulhu faking us all out! Quick, stop counting face tentacles and tell me how many eyes it has.

Also, please tell me you people have heard the Lovecraftian Christmas Carols, A Very Scary Solstice [http://www.cthulhulives.org/Solstice/].

 

[UberMore]

Somebody been reading HP Lovecraft round here.

On topic: I think I'd persuade him to dance with me, and then confuse him with progressive jazz, winning a round of applause from some nearby Belgians.

Bravo for the Bill Bailey quote, I bow my head to you, sir!

I'd personally play a game of hide and seek with him, 3 rounds each of hiding and seeking.
He's to big to hide!

 

[The_Echo]

Chances are as soon as I woke up, I'd be dead.

 

[johnman]

I will probly be murdered in my sleep for this but I never actaully knew what Cthulu actually was, was he that Lovecraftian tenticle monster?

 

[Kris015]

Nuke him!

Unless you have a godlike nuke, then that won't even tickle him.

 

[Archemetis]

Step one would certainly be to soil myself.

The rest is as Cthulu intends.

 

[NeutralDrow]

Well, way I see it, I have two options.

Option 1

A knife and the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception. Specifically <url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJyIg-hxvME>Shiki Ryougi's eyes. As long as Great Cthulu stands still long enough, he's going down.

Bait would help, actually.

Option 2

If I don't have Mystic Eyes or the time to employ them, call upon Azathoth. I might doom myself and the world, but at least I might take Cthulu down with me.

 

[PxDn Ninja]

I would keep visiting the Curiosity shop till I had enough ancient signs to seal all his portals. Just gotta hope the monster surges don't cause the shop keeper to leave town.

 

[magicmonkeybars]

even if I (through some miracle) won and killed Cthulthu I'd still be compleetly insane.

 

[Zhalath]

It's over, geniuses. Take death over madness.

 

[TheDrunkNinja]

It would depend if I was Jack Walters or not. Hell, I'll even take Mike Dawson.

 

[Fingolfin High-King of the Noldor]

If Cthulu is trying to kill me. I am already dead.

 

[AxelMiller]

The only possible thing to do.

Divide by zero.

 

[jobobob]

I kick him in the balls so many times that his head explodes.