Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.
- Thread starter Ruzzian Roulette
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A difficult situation, indeed. Honestly, sex is a risky thing, and if you approach it too casually, stuff like this can happen. After all, making children is what sex is for, and we can forget that in this modern world, which offers such a large variety of contraceptive technologies and protections.
I won't give advice, since you didn't want it. But, I will say this: good luck.
Though, I'd take a step further and say: always use it, unless you are intending to conceive. As simple as that. Even if you "really trust" the person, condoms are needed to protect against a variety of STDs that the person may not even know they have.
I won't give advice, since you didn't want it. But, I will say this: good luck.
This really cannot be stressed enough. Everyone other than the OP who is reading this should absolutely follow this advice.quiet_samurai said:
Though, I'd take a step further and say: always use it, unless you are intending to conceive. As simple as that. Even if you "really trust" the person, condoms are needed to protect against a variety of STDs that the person may not even know they have.
Except he doesn't want advice in general, if you read his post properly.oppp7 said:
But my lying about taking the pill what she did was tantamount to poking a hole in his condom. It's deception, it's disgusting.johnfistyadams said:
Well, you've already seemed to accept it, so here's my two cents, you may have over-heard it:
Use a fucking CONDOM. Im sick to death of hearing Teen drama about pregnancy when they didn't even think of the first damn logical item. Yes, it does cut off some of the feeling but it's better then winding up a father/mother unexpectedly.
FYI: <- Is a Youth Adviser, I have to deal with this crap too much so sorry for being harsh.
Use a fucking CONDOM. Im sick to death of hearing Teen drama about pregnancy when they didn't even think of the first damn logical item. Yes, it does cut off some of the feeling but it's better then winding up a father/mother unexpectedly.
FYI: <- Is a Youth Adviser, I have to deal with this crap too much so sorry for being harsh.
Yeah, you did f*ck up... you posted your story here. (I dont want to hear your lectures... thats why I posted my story here... so YOU wouldnt give me your lectures.)
So... you got a girl pregnant. YOU got a girl pregnant... YOU. If you dont want a child then get an abortion, well ask the lady if she wants one... its her choice you cant just force her to have one.
If you think you will resent this child for the rest of its life for robbing you of your youth then abort or put it up for adoption... although there are already tons of children circulating the adoption circuit. Once again, your problem.
So... you got a girl pregnant. YOU got a girl pregnant... YOU. If you dont want a child then get an abortion, well ask the lady if she wants one... its her choice you cant just force her to have one.
If you think you will resent this child for the rest of its life for robbing you of your youth then abort or put it up for adoption... although there are already tons of children circulating the adoption circuit. Once again, your problem.
I'm not going to judge you.
I am a helpless romantic myself, and give perhaps too much value to the concept of love and romanticism. This, together with the fact that I've been alone all my life, is probably more than enough proof for me to know that I would've done the same thing.
I'd like to help you, I really would, but the problem you're in is rather big. If anything, I wouldn't blame myself if I were you. You only gave your love away, and got betrayed, which seems to happen to us romantics way too often.
Being scared, depressed and confused is perfectly normal. I'm in pretty much the same situation right now (partly due to, again, being a helpless romantic), to the point where today my mother asked me to help her translate a phone call and I just got mindblocked and hung up on the guy. Now I realize it wasn't the right thing to do. Or stay in my room brooding all day. These things are not going to solve my situation, and neither are they gonna solve yours.
However, seeking for help is the first step to getting it. I don't know if it's of much help, or even if you will heed it, but my honest advice is that you make a choice and stick to it. If you're willing to ignore this girl and her baby (if you're not willing to consider it yours), then do it through to the end. You don't deserve what happened, and again, mostly wasn't your fault. On the other hand, if you wish to acknowledge the baby as yours, make sure you're the best father you can be to it, and the best man for his mother.
In my opinion, it's not so much about what choice you make, but instead, if you're willing to see it through to the end. Because, once it's ended, you'll be able to say you did it your way.
Again, let me say: I feel for your trouble, and I wish you only the best of luck
I am a helpless romantic myself, and give perhaps too much value to the concept of love and romanticism. This, together with the fact that I've been alone all my life, is probably more than enough proof for me to know that I would've done the same thing.
I'd like to help you, I really would, but the problem you're in is rather big. If anything, I wouldn't blame myself if I were you. You only gave your love away, and got betrayed, which seems to happen to us romantics way too often.
Being scared, depressed and confused is perfectly normal. I'm in pretty much the same situation right now (partly due to, again, being a helpless romantic), to the point where today my mother asked me to help her translate a phone call and I just got mindblocked and hung up on the guy. Now I realize it wasn't the right thing to do. Or stay in my room brooding all day. These things are not going to solve my situation, and neither are they gonna solve yours.
However, seeking for help is the first step to getting it. I don't know if it's of much help, or even if you will heed it, but my honest advice is that you make a choice and stick to it. If you're willing to ignore this girl and her baby (if you're not willing to consider it yours), then do it through to the end. You don't deserve what happened, and again, mostly wasn't your fault. On the other hand, if you wish to acknowledge the baby as yours, make sure you're the best father you can be to it, and the best man for his mother.
In my opinion, it's not so much about what choice you make, but instead, if you're willing to see it through to the end. Because, once it's ended, you'll be able to say you did it your way.
Again, let me say: I feel for your trouble, and I wish you only the best of luck
You should've used a condom. She may be a crazy-ass ***** who wants to get pregnant but that's your fault for letting one past the net. I suppose future advice would be simple; pull-out.
And don't share your personal problems on the internet. There's a reason why they're called 'personal' problems, because they are just that.
You got yourself into this mess, now you deal with the consequences. What's done is done.
Oh, by the way; sleeping with your friend's girlfriend? Really classy. I don't believe in karma, but this is karmic justice if ever I heard it.
And don't share your personal problems on the internet. There's a reason why they're called 'personal' problems, because they are just that.
You got yourself into this mess, now you deal with the consequences. What's done is done.
Oh, by the way; sleeping with your friend's girlfriend? Really classy. I don't believe in karma, but this is karmic justice if ever I heard it.
Aside from the pregnancy part, I was in the exact same situation 4 years ago.
It didn't end well, and that was WITHOUT the pregnancy.
Basically, you have two options - Accept it or deny it. Accepting your mistake is the best option.
Don't let the child suffer for it though. It has done nothing wrong. Just accept that it's happening and live with it.
It didn't end well, and that was WITHOUT the pregnancy.
Basically, you have two options - Accept it or deny it. Accepting your mistake is the best option.
Don't let the child suffer for it though. It has done nothing wrong. Just accept that it's happening and live with it.
You need to cure yourself of your hopeless romanticism. Ask yourself this question the next time you find yourself "falling in love".
How can I love someone I haven't had any real conversation with?
I don't believe in love at first sight and neither should you or anyone else. There might be an instant attraction, but until you actually talk to that person and get to know them love is not assured. Think hard about this when you find yourself falling for some pretty young thing. Love is hard and takes work. It isn't a dream where everything is sunshine and rainbows.
How can I love someone I haven't had any real conversation with?
I don't believe in love at first sight and neither should you or anyone else. There might be an instant attraction, but until you actually talk to that person and get to know them love is not assured. Think hard about this when you find yourself falling for some pretty young thing. Love is hard and takes work. It isn't a dream where everything is sunshine and rainbows.
I would, uh... panic for a small amount of time and then calm down and get a plan going to support her and the child.
Hopefully, that'll work.
Hopefully, that'll work.