Dear Escapist, I F*cked up.

[One of Many]

You done gone and fucked up big. That is pretty much my biggest fear.

I dunno, if she still can, convince her to abort. Here, try this jingle.

"If you don't choose to abort, I won't pay child support"

(I'm a terrible person)

In your position, I would flee to Mexico and become a bandito.

Well, you sir got a more then a few giggles out of me.


Anyways, like a few others have said, it sounds like she is trying you make you stick around. Now in a perfect world (seeing as she told you she was on the pill and then said later that she forgot), you could get away with leave the kid with the mother (if she wont give the kid up for adoption) but undoubtedly, if she pushes the issue that far, a judge is gonna make you pay child support, cause your a man.


Run while you still can.

 

[Vault boy Eddie]

Time to man up, too cheap to buy a pack of rubbers, now you get to make the long term payment, the one that you are obligated to make for 18 years. Welcome to the real world, where actions ALWAYS have shitty consequences.

 

[Canus]

Start your crap from now until the kid is born. May as well collect your piss too. Wait until the kid is born, go into the room with the crib and cover it in filth. Everywhere. Grind it in good. Make sure to douse everything is piss too.

Take pictures through the window.

Mail them to social services from an internet cafe using a new email account pretending to be "a concerned neighbour".

Kid gets taken into state custody, job's a gud 'un. Enjoy the freedom you've thrown away.

Also: paternity test, and wear a fucking condom dammit.

I really want to be outraged at this but, while maybe a bit exaggerated, it's probably one of the more brilliant bastard tactics I've heard lately. Assuming you don't get slapped with neglect charges or some such.

 

[Jark212]

1: You were dumb enough to fall for this trap.

2: Get yourself a good lawyer and demand proof that you are the real father, because she's going to try to drag you down with her kicking and screaming...

I really hope things work out for you. And I wouldn't trust a girl like that, she might be... Unstable. Just saying...

 

[KeyMaster45]

Lying about being on the pill...uh huh.....looks like you bagged a crazy one my friend. The only advice I can offer is tell her sorry you don't want a relationship, or drag her to court saying she tricked you.

Seems pretty solid in my opinion, you were told not to worry, she was lying (because yeah, you just don't "forget" to take long term medication for a week). Open and shut case in my opinion. Sure you should have had the foresight to either not trust her and pull out/wear a condom, but I mean come on..in the heat of the moment can anyone say in honesty they actually have a rational thought in their head?

I feel sorry for ya bro, really I do and I hope something good comes of it.

 

[oppp7]

cool story bro

Reported. Go back to 4Chan.

OT: I really don't know. I'm sorry to say it but it looks like you're going to have to man up and be there for the kid. Unless she gets an abortion, but DO NOT suggest it. Seriously, that would be a bad move.

 

[Irridium]

Well that sucks!

But yeah, if she does get around as you say, demand a paternity test.
If it is your kid, you have to stick it out for the long haul. The kid shouldn't have to grow up without a dad because of your mistake.

She really shouldn't have lied to you about this. Hell she could be doing this just to get some grants or something for her own plans, then dump the child on you. Thats a horrible way of thinking, but I've been betrayed so many times its basically my thought process nowadays...

Anyway, its a possibility. Wish I could offer any advice, but I can't since I've never been in this situation or anything close to this situation.

 

[A Free Man]

I am going to say this even if others disagree. Obviously no one hear knows all the facts only those that you have decided to share but I think you should confront her and let her know that you are not ready to have a child and that if she decides to go ahead and raise this child that she will be doing it herself. I know that will sound really harsh to a lot of people but I am 16 and if someone told me I was having a kid I would seriously freak out. I think you should stress the fact that you are really not ready, it may be a blessing to those who plan to have one and are capable of raising a child but it is not something you can just do because you got unlucky. You are going to have to make a choice, confront her and tell her you can not raise a baby in your current situation or start planning now for the baby. Decide how you intend to raise the baby talk about the extent of your relationship with her and start researching ways to be a better father. My parents are currently split up and live in different houses but they manage to raise three children who all turned out alright (except my brother : P)

Well that's my opinion but I'm probably not the best person to ask in this situation. Good luck and whatever you choose do not have this baby unless you are really ready to comit to it.

 

[pyrosaw]

being a hopeless reject, such as yourself, you've offically buttfucked your situation, and her, and you have one option: Raise the child, and take up drinking.Alterativly:Run your ass out of there when you get to college

 

[Pokenator]

Assuming that things went down exactly as you told them (I am usually wary of hearing stories from one side) there are a few things I am wondering.

1- What is her motivation for not wanting to adopt/abort. If this was truly a terrible accident, in which case the pill thing sounds sketchy, girls are typically MORE vigilant when they're sexually active, why doesn't she want an abortion/adoption? Parental pressure/religion/social pressure? Or did she want to get pregnant? It would help to know how old you are, is this girl 16 or 30?

2- What was going through each of your heads when this happened, you liked her, we established that (and we promised we won't berate on the quality of decisions) but what was her motivation? One night stand? Making your friend jealous? Genuine interest?

3- Do you honestly think she intended for this to happen or is it a way of justifying the outcome and passing off some blame for a bad situation? The pill forgetting thing does sound dodgy I admit.

If she does give birth, you really have two main options,
a) Get together for the baby's sake, I definitely do not recommend this.
b) Pick up an extra job and pay child support, and forget it ever happened. This option will mean you have less free time but in a few years down the track, will probably not affect you too badly other than being slightly poorer. If you cannot convince her to adopt it out, then there's not much you can do, involving yourself emotionally will probably just cause all sorts of heart ache in the long run, this includes seeing the baby or taking on a pseudo fatherly role. I suggest, failing to convince her to adopt, you should have a good long discussion with her about what you both want out of this, it is unrealistic of her to expect you to become a loving father after a one night stand, especially since its HER decision to keep it, but you need to take some responsibility if it is in fact half yours (make sure you get a paternity test just in case) and pay child support.

You never know, you might strike it lucky and she will miscarry...

 

[Stoic raptor]

This is why they tell you about abstinince in school. Well your choices are

1. Abortion
2. Adoption
3. Raising the kid.

If your not doing 1, maybe you should consider 2. It would be hardest choice, but it might also be the best choice.

 

[Super Toast]

What about 4chan? Maybe he could get some good advice there.

Oh my god... THAT'S GENIUS!

OT: You're gonna have to man up. That's all I can think of, really.

 

[Chester41585]

Admiral Ackbar saw this trap coming a mile away...
But seriously. Rule one about sex: Don't trust what she says before, during, or immediately after sex.

 

[Flamingpenguin]

Huh... Well then. I guess *just* having your friend date your ex (my problem) isn't such a bad problem at all in comparison. If it makes you feel any better, you've helped me out.

OT: If you really love her, stay together. I wish you the best of luck, mate!

 

[Danpascooch]

SNIP

If what you said is true, it's not your fault, like, at all.

Don't feel like you have to be a couple with this girl who "forgot" to take her pills, and don't feel like you have to be a father to the kid. Adoption is a very viable option, but if she refuses, then as long as you're not a deadbeat and pay your child support and fulfill any other legal obligations, you shouldn't feel bad in the slightest. You are not obligated to throw away all of your plans for the future for this kid, and you're DEFINITELY not obligated to do it for that (I assume lying) *****. I repeat, do NOT feel as though you are backed into a corner here, you're not.

I hope you don't take many of the insensitive comments here too harshly, this is after all, the internet.

good luck!

PS: I didn't know someone could be pregnant and still have a period...

 

[MortisLegio]

abstinince - the only way to make sure your not the father

Dude just man up and raise the kid but you can honestly say that you'll never do that again

and people wonder why I stay a virgin

 

[martin's a madman]

Is it too late to abort? If so there's always adoption if you trust your country's foster care system enough.

It's never too late.

 

[martin's a madman]

abstinince - the only way to make sure your not the father

Dude just man up and raise the kid but you can honestly say that you'll never do that again

and people wonder why I stay a virgin

Lack of Charm and surplus of social awkwardness?

 

[MortisLegio]

abstinince - the only way to make sure your not the father

Dude just man up and raise the kid but you can honestly say that you'll never do that again

and people wonder why I stay a virgin

Lack of Charm and surplus of social awkwardness?

uh...NO
I choose not to that still is a viable option in this world

 

[McNinja]

My gut reaction? It's a trap! You got played, man. Or maybe not. Maybe she's just a sweet, innocent girl that's just as in over her head as you are. Maybe.

Just maybe. But "forgetting" to take her pills? Kinda sound like it wasn't an accident.

Man up dude. No matter what if that is your kid, then its yours forever. Grow a pair and take responsibilty. No one forced your dick in this girl and you knew the risks of unprotected sex going in (no pun intended).

Edit: Before you think I'm taking her side I just want to say what she did was fucked up, but if she refuses to give the kid up then there's nothing you can do. I'm not saying to be a happy couple again, but don't shun the kid.

This indeed.