Dumbest Things Customers Have Said

[SwimmingRock]

Easy. Working at a bookstore. Was seated behind the counter, so my shirt wasn't visible. It had RUSSIA! written on it due to an exhibit of Russian art at the Guggenheim. Quiet day and a lady asks me where to find a particular book.

I know most people can't follow directions worth a damn, so I ask a co-worker to watch the register while I help the customer find the book. So I get up from the chair and she sees my shirt. She freezes for a second and then hisses:"I'm not giving my money to a communist bookstore. Go back to Russia, filthy commie." I stood there somewhat puzzled as she left in a huff.

 

[Wuggy]

I don't have any of my own to add, but I know a place that does.

http://notalwaysright.com/

They've collected THOUSANDS of customer service stories. Warning, that site can swallow days of your life, and you'll despair for the future of humanity, and probably laugh a LOT too.

That last warning is accurate, having read EVERY SINGLE THING in there. This kept me amused for a while, but also made a Dr. House worth of more cynical towards mankind.

snip

You make me so glad I don't have a job that involves customer service. Seriously, kudos for putting up with it.

 

[Kevonovitch]

anything that involves "the customer is always right." which is absolute bullshit, most of the time.

 

[killercyclist]

agreed, oregon win!

 

[Beautiful End]

I think this is pretty valid to your statement.

Oh my gawd. This. This right here describes my day at work EVERY DAY!

This lady today walked in and asked me for an 180GB backwards compatible PS3. Now, I don't mind educating people about stuff we sell so I tell her that's impossible and that she wants the old 20, 60, or 80GB PS3 OR maybe just a slim 160GB:

Lady: "No, no. I don't want any of that. I want a 180GB backwards compatible PS3 for my son" She says in a tone that makes it seem as if I'm trying to rip her off.
Me: "Well, the thing is that they don't exist. You want an 80GB BC PS3" and I explain it all over again.
Lady: "No, my son told me you sold those here. Hold on..." She pulls out her phone and talks to her son.
Me: "We DO have an 80GB PS3 like the one you want used."
Lady: "Oh, no. I want it new"
So I take the time to explain we don't sell them new anymore and blah blah.
Lady on the phone: "Do you want the 80GB used?! Okay, my son says he wants it."
Me: "Would you like a warranty for it?"
Lady: "Oh, are they bound to break soon or what?"
Me: "No, but it's used. it's just like a safe net for you." I proceed to explain her that I have a 60GB that hasn't broken down or anything but that the fan is super loud and that its old and all.
Lady: "Oh, my son says that you need to clean it."
Me: (Thinking NO SHIT LADY! YA THINK I DIDNT FIGURE IT OUT AFTER WORKING HERE?) Yes, I clean it more than often.
Lady: Oh, he says you need to clean it this way" and she proceed to half explain it. To which I think again OH SNAP! THIS KID DESERVES MY JOB! THANKS SHERLOCK!
Me: "Right. So do you want it or not?"
Lady: "So if it breaks down, do you fix them here for me?"
Me: (I get this question a lot so I'm used to it) No, ma'am. We only buy and sell games here. However, we will exchange it for one that works."
Lady: "Another one? I don't want another one! Here, talk to my son! And she hands me the phone.

Worst part is that I LIKE being nice. I like helping parents who don't know shit about games. But sometimes, oh sometimes...well, there's that video.


One last thing I remembered
Me: What size would you like your yogurt, ma'am?
Lady: "Oh, yes. Strawberry"
Me: "No...the size *Points at cups*"
Lady: "Oh, umm...small I guess"
Me: "And you want strawberry flavor?"
Lady: "Yes, strawberry topping"
Me: "Okay...and the flavor?"
Lady: "Where are the flavors?"
Me: *Points at menu*
Lady: "Umm...come on, son! Choose a flavor!"
Son: "Wha- me?"

This actually happens quite often.

 

[evilstonermonkey]

My first thought when I saw this thread was notalwaysright.com, and I was glad to see someone beat me too it. I've read the whole thing. The depressing thing is, aside from the ones that are specifically Starbucks, I've experienced almost every single coffeeshop one there. Thank god I'm not doing that anymore.

 

[Averant]

Ah, the life of a bagger. Haven't had any truly dumb things said yet, but I always get this response.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Yes."


...*twitch*

 

[PlasticLion]

I've worked at Wal-Mart as a Customer Service Manager, at Target as an Electronics Associate, and at Toys R Us as an Electronics cashier. I walked out on WM, got fired from Target, and gave two weeks notice at TRU when I realized that I'd end up loosing my temper and get fired again(this ape has evolved!) The saddest stupidest things that ever happened to me occurred at TRU.

I was working the electronics counter a Toys R Us when a ten year old boy wanted to buy a game. It happens all the time there, TRU is a good place for parents to teach their kids about making purchases: especially about sales tax (6% in Pennsylvania). But he wanted to pay with a credit card. His grandfather's credit card. When I told him that he couldn't use it he said he would go get his MOM that was out in the car. His mom came in. She was overweight and had trouble walking. I did feel bad for making her come in.

But then she treated me like shit just because I wouldn't let a ten year old use a credit card. Besides, the credit card authorized her father to purchase things on credit and not her. She told me that she had Power of Attorney for her father. Rather than fight I called a manager that approved the transaction without any proof of PoA. She got the benefit of the doubt. She was Caucasian, btw.

The sale went unopposed so she was telling the truth. But the manager was more concerned with how I was "unfriendly." Two weeks later I was working alone when my nose started bleeding. Retail store air is pretty dry. I sold games for twenty minutes with one hand at the register and one trying to prevent blood from getting on the games I was selling.

I gave two weeks notice shortly after that because like I said earlier this ape evolved.

I don't like to comment here or anywhere because sometimes when I say something people comment on what I say and I don't spend enough time doing this to keep up a dialog. I vomit my thoughts then forget. So if you have a comment on what I said feel free to make it but don't expect a reply. I've got eight messages in my escapist inbox that I'm ignoring right now.

 

[Bucky01]

work at a coles deli, goddamn all the stupid people,
can i have chicken >.>
i want ham -_-
gimme that (doesn't even point)
i want it thicker than shaved but thinner than sliced (shaves it, YEAH THAT SIZE!)
calling Virginia ham Vagina ham
and most recent in my mind stupid with all brackets as my thoughts- this guy goes off at me for 15-20 minutes saying im false adverting the same prawn at different prices (yes there are more than two types of prawns in the ocean pal) then goes off because this in-particular prawn must be that much |-| bigger than what others by the same name is( look at people... are they all the same size) he walks off, 2 minutes later buys every single last one. over $300 worth. >.> stupid s#!@

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Ah, the life of a bagger. Haven't had any truly dumb things said yet, but I always get this response.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Yes."


...*twitch*

That's actually a correct answer. Snarky and annoying yes, but perfectly correct. Maybe you should rephrase that question.

 

[Solid Reece]

A few years back I used to work in Internet tech support and I once had a customer freak at me when I asked him to make a space on the keyboard. I can't even remember what I was having him type. I think I was getting him to ping something, not sure why though.

Also a colleague at the time got a customer who apparently didn't like the sound of his mouse clicking and wanted to know how to turn the volume down. *facepalm*

I heard a story where they where having troble printing yellow and after 5 10 min. the it support found out the paper was yellow

 

[Averant]

Ah, the life of a bagger. Haven't had any truly dumb things said yet, but I always get this response.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Yes."


...*twitch*

That's actually a correct answer. Snarky and annoying yes, but perfectly correct. Maybe you should rephrase that question.

>_< Nein! It's not a yes/no question, it's an either/or question. I'm not asking them "Do you want a bag", nor am I asking them "do you want paper AND plastic". I am asking them "do you want a paper bag OR a plastic bag?"

If you really want to be a douchebag about it, yes, you can say "yes, I want paper or plastic." But that's just it, it makes you a douchebag. And I know that old ladies shopping for groceries are not douchebags.

Gah. Either/or, damnit. They're getting a bag, so bloody choose which one...

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Ah, the life of a bagger. Haven't had any truly dumb things said yet, but I always get this response.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Yes."


...*twitch*

That's actually a correct answer. Snarky and annoying yes, but perfectly correct. Maybe you should rephrase that question.

>_< Nein! It's not a yes/no question, it's an either/or question. I'm not asking them "Do you want a bag", nor am I asking them "do you want paper AND plastic". I am asking them "do you want a paper bag OR a plastic bag?"

If you really want to be a douchebag about it, yes, you can say "yes, I want paper or plastic." But that's just it, it makes you a douchebag. And I know that old ladies shopping for groceries are not douchebags.

Gah. Either/or, damnit. They're getting a bag, so bloody choose which one...

That's the problem with English, it's very ambiguous. Here's a tip, say "Do you want a paper bag? Or do you want a plastic bag?" Splitting up the question into two sentences makes it much harder for douchebags like me to slip in that yes in an easy manner.

 

[Seanfall]

I work at a grocery store. Its big, the staff is friendly, and its much better than my last job at fast food. A few days ago I was out getting carts. It had been raining almost the entire week jumping from just drizzles to outright thunderstorms. As I was dropping off a load of carts I got approached by a man who looked a little mad. He then asks me why all the carts are wet.

At that point I think my brain did a mini implosion. I looked back outside and it was pouring rain. "...umm, its raining outside..."
Him: "Oh, right." And then he proceded to pull out a bunch of wet carts that were stacked together just to get a dry one.

Whats the dumbest thing a customer has said to you? Bonus points for working in the customer service department of where you work.

Dude I work at a Grocery store too. And this happens ALL THE DAMN TIME. "Why are the cart's wet." "I had to pee and the bathroom was occupied."

The dumbest thing I've been asked there was by a woman who was shopping it was late at night. I wanted to go home she was looking threw the corn and asked me.

"Where do you keep your melon spray?"
Me: *stops. blinks* "...Our...what?"
"The spray you use to get the salmonella off the Melons?"
Me: "...We...uhh...I don't...think we have that spray...."
"You don't?! Then what do you use?"
me: "I...they don't have...what?"

That was five minutes of my live I'm not getting back.

The second dumbest thing was someone asking if the Cream of Brocilli soup was Creamy...*facepalm*

 

[Solid Reece]

"I didn't like my yogurt. I demand a refund" (Nothing wrong with it, they just didn't like it. To what I reply "So when you buy a Grilled chicken expecting it to taste like Friend chicken and it doesn't do you also demand a refund?)

Try someone asking for thier money back on a poutine becuase there was bugs on it.
No Joke.
He shows us the bugs "ALIVE" and Not covered in gravey.
He never got a cent back. Ived worked there four years know and the only bugs in the store i see are flys in the summer.

Another customer said this is not what she ordered and gaive it to her kid. Got $20 bucks of free food.

My dad also told me of a walmart custmer trying to return a brand new tv and in the box was a diffrent model covered in smoke.

 

[ManWithHat]

I worked at Panda Express (Chinese fastfood). Some lady actually asked me if we served actual panda. I told her "No, panda is an endangered species. It would be really expensive." I just wonder what goes through peoples' minds when they ask such things.

 

[Solid Reece]

Shell Gas Station


People aren't allowed to jam the nozzle trigger and talk on a cell phone or do something else while the fuel is pumping. It's against the law.

Unfortunately, regardless of how hard i try to tell people, i just get scoffed at and asked how old i am (19). I clearly tell them that if the nozzle were to break, gas would spill everywhere and could be ignited by almost anything in the lot which would result in a giant explosion most likely killing several people.

SO WHY THE *#)@_&*#%_)*#&@%_)!#*&)*#$&(*&#@%^(*@#^*&!^%#*!%^$*#@&$%(@#&*$^(@#*&^$@#(*&^@%(*&#^%)@#&*)^%@#&%)@#*%&@)#*%&@)#(*&% CAN'T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THAT!?!!?!?!?

They don't belive you.
Show them what happenes when gas fumes ingnigt.
Beter yet, ask the mythbusters to do it for you.

 

[bl4ckh4wk64]

If he's seven, he probably doesnt know roman numerals.

What are you talking about? I learned the basic ones when I was around 5 or 6. So did all my friends.

 

[akakaze]

People submit requests to a school for information. I call them to make sure they're old enough for college, not assholes looking to waste people's time, etc. and patch them through for what they want.

"You submitted the form, the one you had to put your phone number on?"
"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to call me."

*facepalm*

 

[Anjel]

I don't have any of my own to add, but I know a place that does.

http://notalwaysright.com/

They've collected THOUSANDS of customer service stories. Warning, that site can swallow days of your life, and you'll despair for the future of humanity, and probably laugh a LOT too.

Thanks for this


Hmm...

OT: Customer was unable to 'log on' to our website once. After spending ages having them "type our website address into the address bar on your web browser" they then told me they could not see the screen. It turned out the computer wasn't even turned on - not just the monitor - the whole damn computer.