dumbest way you hurt yourself

[The Last Hunter]

I actually have a laundry list of accidents (starting from age 2-3, ending at age 12)

-Stuck thumb in a moving fan
-Foot and ankle got caught in moving bike wheel, caused the bike to front flip
-Lacerated my ankle
-Tripped, and slammed into concrete drain, chin first
-Got burned by an iron
-Got hit in the eye with a shuttlecock
-Foot was run over by dad's car
-Thought it would be fun to see how much pressure it would take to slice my finger with a pair of scissors


In between all of that would be 2 incidents of thumb-stapling, 2 or more incidents of slipping and landing on my head, along with various cuts, bruises and crotch-related 'incidents'


Moving on, (12 onwards)

-Shredded a blister on my toe while running
-Ingrown toenails
-Kneeing myself in the face while performing skill-rolls, repeatedly

Standby for updates while I try more stupid things

 

[Dfskelleton]

I've:
Picked up a non insulated candle when I was a kid, burnt myself
Split my thumb when I was carving something with my SHARP knife
Rubbed lemon into my eyes on accident
created a nerf gun dart with a really sharp spike in the tip so when you get shot it punctures
Beaten myself in the top of the head with a claw hammer when I was 8
Was squeezing a not so sturdy glass and it shattered in my hand
got my leg caught under the pedals of my bike
stapled myslef more thn once

But here's the best one: One day I was shooting my old G.I. Joe toys with my bb gun (or however you spell it) at moderately close range, and I picked up the character Destro. For those who don't know, Destro's head is made out of solid metal. I sat him in a tree and shot him. I almost blew his arm off, but then I scored a headshot. Instead of being awesome, the bb deflected off his head and hit me square in the stomach. We're talking powerful bb gun close range, and I just got shot square in the stomach with it. I just fell on the ground in pain.

 

[berettapunk]

chainsaw to knee this week!

earlier in the week i was opening a bag and my day old knife was still factory sharp, i made one cut towards myself then thought "this could be bad cutting towards my arm" so i turned the knife around made my final cut and cut the tip of my index finger half off. damn boyscouts are liars! lol

 

[emeraldrafael]

My friends an i Do an annual competition called pain week, where we physically hurt ourselves after each of us comes up with an idea. My idea was the buzz shave, whihc is a circular hand saw and you sahve with it. Since i was first, i did it, and gave myself a jagged scar (though I'm glad to say i'm getting better at it, to the point where i can do my face without getting nicked).

but yeah, dumb.

 

[tsb247]

I grabbed a drawer handle that was labeled, "Hands off." I was then promptly electrocuted.

 

[Darius Brogan]

I went to open a security door once and didn't push hard enough, it bounced back and I slammed my eye on the deadbolt.

Also hit a large body ball with a baseball bat, bounced back and caught me in the head.

Jumped off of a roof onto an angled trampoline then rocketed myself into the SIDE of a pool instead of into it.

 

[Issurru]

Opening a package of that hard shrinkwrap plastic...was using an exacto knife. Forgot about that whole "always cut away from you" idea, exacto knife slipped and went right into the side of my thumb, hit bone...wouldn't stop bleeding for a while. Strangely, it didn't hurt, and the knife didn't have ANY blood on it whatsoever...

I guess the funniest part to the story is I was opening the package of a knife...lol....

My cousin did pretty much the same thing, was cutting open a package of live points on his leg though then *slash* right through his jeans and a huge gash on his leg

OT: My dumbest injury was at work (I work at a grocery store) where I was receiving a truck full of stock, tried to help the trucker open the back door of the truck then *BOOM* handle flew into my lip, damn near cut my upper lip in half and almost knocked a tooth out

 

[MBergman]

I was riding my bike home from work one day, at some point I got bored and decided to try the cross-grip...it didn't go over very vell and my face soon made friends with the pavement.

 

[Sixties Spidey]

Catapulting myself from the very back of a 4x4 to the windshield using the seat recliner when I was a wee little child... Fucking hell that was both fun and immensely painful.

 

[Blue_vision]

Possibly just an hour ago. I was doing my thing eating ice cubes, when I stuck two in my mouth. I couldn't hold them in, so one of them popped out, fell on my toe and cracked the base of my nail so it started bleeding. Fuck.

Also, I broke my arm on a playground slide when I was 5. I didn't fall off or anything, I just went down a slide and my arm broke. I'm not sure how I accomplished that but it happened

 

[Anonymoustache]

Probably walking through the house at night, cocky enough to assume you've lived here long enough to not need any light for safe navigation, then stepping on your dog, trying to dodge its "Ow you hurt my tail" reaction and hitting the wall face-first, and then the floor back-first.

I have a torch next to my bed now.

 

[Cain_Zeros]

I got cut by cardboard before.

Cardboard cuts sting like a *****.

OT: Y'know the dotted line it says to cut along? Don't cut along it. If you slip, you'll cut open your hand. At least if you're me.

 

[Sixties Spidey]

True story. Me and a bunch of friends are playing American football. QB throws it to me, and I'm about to make a touchdown. Some dumb fuck is flipping over the soccer goalpost. Needless to say, I leaped and caught the ball, but the ass end of the post caught my foot, flipped me over, and made me land flat on my back on the track. Ow.

 

[Kuroneko97]

I decided to Roller-skate once on my cement driveway with pants ripped at the knees. Things were going well...then Isaac Newton decided to mess with me. Got a big gash on my knee.

OH! And I once though it would be a great idea to climb on the outside of a very tall slide. Then I lost my grip...and fell...BECAUSE OF GRAVITY! Fortunately, I only ended up having the wind knocked out of me.

 

[GnomeThief]

When I was about 9 or 10 I tried to do a flip while hanging onto the towel rack in the bathroom and ended up pulling the thing clean out of the wall and falling on my head.

Also one time when I was 4 I ran full speed into a sliding glass door while trying to run towards my mom. Luckily it didn't break.

 

[notsosavagemessiah]

well, i was working the other day, i dropped a wrench underneath the engine of the helicopter i was working on, it fell in a little crevice on the bottom of the compartment. so, i shoved my arm underneath it to retrieve it, it was shoved so far down that i got my arm stuck in between the engine and several stiff fuel lines,when i tried to remove my arm, i dislocated it, and cut it from top to bottom. I still didn't get the wrench either...

in second place, i was playing gears of war 2 with a friend, swung my arms up and yelled "what the fuck! AGHHHH!" i had torn the labrum in my left shoulder blades.

 

[Parshooter]

Went to punch a guy

half way through I realized that it was suicide and tried to miss and go for an elbow

Hit the guys face with the lower to knuckles of my hand.

Had bruises for three weeks.

He had a red mark that disappeared in four minutes

 

[Guffe]

Walking into an open door in the morning when I was tired, this was during winter (in Finland) so it was very dark and I didn't want to put on the lights.

 

[HeySeansOnline]

Sliced open my thumb getting super glue off It.

 

[VladmirL]

When I was younger I was pretending to be a samurai(don't ask)and I broke a piece of glass off an old chandelier, which landed on my foot, slicing a pretty considerable chunk of my big toe and top of my foot.
It's all better now though.