Ever said or done anything so awesome it left people speechless?

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ViolentlyHappy91

Kerrick of Long Service
Apr 16, 2009
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xxnightlawxx said:
The teacher didn't like me at all, he just liked that kid less. The teacher of my English class/ homeroom teacher was awesome though, I actually became pretty good friends with her and we made out once....long story...VERY long story, so don't ask, and no, she wasn't old, she was only mid 20s.

Tim Buck II said:
I know this bugs the heck out of people but... EPIC!!!!
Well uh....thank you.
 

Madshaw

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Jun 18, 2008
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Catchphrase said:
Madshaw said:
I punched the most chavvy little hard man in my year, he was in the middle of a group of the fuckers and they where all shouting something other about my mum, i turned to face them then i hit the first face that i saw, turned and walked away. no-one said a word


JanatUrlich said:
Natty DL said:
£5 you just gave half the people reading that a boner right now. :p
What about the girls? D=
they havn't read it, they are cleaning
How would they read it, even if they had the time?
and the escapist already knows that no one keeps a computor in the kitchen anyway...
 

Thatkidnooneknows

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Jun 15, 2009
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The first thing that comes to my mind was in band camp one day. I'd just met this one kid and his hot sister that day, and he comes up to me after we're done for the day and decides to try to tag me cuz we'd been doing this random tag thing throughout the day. I immediately throw myself to the ground and roll away from him but he keeps following, I ran out of momentum so I proceeded to purposefully hit the ground with the back of my head so hard that I flew into the air and landed a backflip in front of a room of 50 or more people. Everyone stared at me in silence while I stood there for a second, and then ran out of the room so that kid couldn't tag me.

Then when people talked about it later my friend Walter walked up and said,"That's just Daniel, he's a ninja"

All in all, I thought it was pretty badass
 

Trilby_V

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Feb 9, 2009
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ViolentlyHappy91 said:
xxnightlawxx said:
The teacher didn't like me at all, he just liked that kid less. The teacher of my English class/ homeroom teacher was awesome though, I actually became pretty good friends with her and we made out once....long story...VERY long story, so don't ask, and no, she wasn't old, she was only mid 20s.

Tim Buck II said:
I know this bugs the heck out of people but... EPIC!!!!
Well uh....thank you.
Making out story PLEASE?
 

Seventeen

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Jun 15, 2009
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Haha I'm loving some of these, this isn't me being epic but something that happened to me.

I'm a guy who can always hold my drink, however it comes at a cost. I'll never spew but I always pass out.

So we're all playing a drinking game one night. I lose and down the shitmix only to pass out about 15 minutes later. I wake up hours after, instantly knowing somethings wrong.

It appears my friends lovingly fashioned me a beard by supergluing all of the playing cards to my face during the night. And my girlfriend helped. :p
 

ViolentlyHappy91

Kerrick of Long Service
Apr 16, 2009
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Trilby_V said:
ViolentlyHappy91 said:
xxnightlawxx said:
The teacher didn't like me at all, he just liked that kid less. The teacher of my English class/ homeroom teacher was awesome though, I actually became pretty good friends with her and we made out once....long story...VERY long story, so don't ask, and no, she wasn't old, she was only mid 20s.

Tim Buck II said:
I know this bugs the heck out of people but... EPIC!!!!
Well uh....thank you.
Making out story PLEASE?
Fine. Long story cut incredibly short: Her brother's party, I was drunk, she was upset, I was the only person there that she knew, we made out, we never talked about it.
 

ChocoFace

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Nov 19, 2008
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jonnosferatu said:
Come to think of it, in relation to kicks specifically, there was one time back when I did TKD. I was a white belt sparring with a guy who was about to get his black belt (and fully deserved it; he wasn't just some random chump who was getting it under some kind of contract). I guess he must have completely underestimated my coordination, because I feigned in with a straight punch and then hit him in the crotch with a perfect roundhouse. He was fine (cup), but everyone was completely silent for a few seconds afterward.
Don't they give out black belts in Tae Kwan Do way faster than in other martial arts?
But still, underestimation indeed.
I saw a video in youtube where 2 kids fought: one was TKD black belt (the 'cool' guy), the other a WoW nerd (was being picked on). So they started fighting. You'd probably think the TKD won, right? No. The guy ran away.
 

Trilby_V

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Feb 9, 2009
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Nothing is better than running straight into French Class shouting COMMANDER FLUUUUUUUFFFYYY!!!! and LE PETIT FROMAGE!(the small cheese). That teacher, by the way, hates me.
 

Seventeen

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Jun 15, 2009
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mentor07825 said:
Kogarian said:
We had this huge argument once in our bio class, hindering on the verge of an all out sexist argument. One girl screamed, "Fine, tell me one thing guys can do that girls can't!"

I was pissed off since it was this phrase that woke me up. I got, cleared my throat, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and loudly (yet respectably) said, "Get a women pregnant. Now everybody shut up."
Now that, mate, was absolutely brilliant!
Seconded, That's definatly an epic one. :)
 

Nargleblarg

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Jun 24, 2008
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I was at a some party (more like a picnic not a drinking thing) and my friend found a wheelchair in closet so I took it rode it around for a while and he pushed me over in front of a lot of people. I stood up and could only yell "OH MY GOD I CAN WALK".
 

wordsmith

TF2 Group Admin
May 1, 2008
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I was once attacked by a psychotic ex-girlfriend, and got out of it without either hitting her or getting hit. I walked through a door, she took a swing at me. I managed to catch her right hand with my left, then her left hand with my right as she went to hit me again. I then moved to the side, put my leg behind hers, and lowered her down (still hanging on to her hands). I put her down face down on the concrete, then just said "If you EVER do something like that again, I might not hold on to your arms..."

She left me alone after that.

Of course, that was after she tried to shoot me with a staplegun (not an open stapler, a proper heavy-duty staple gun. Those things fire pretty far x( )
 

Octorok

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May 28, 2009
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I was paintballing with a large group of people, maybe fourteen of us in total. We weren't playing any particular game, just shoot and the team with the most points wins.

It just so happened to be my birthday, and so I was singled out as a target. Now, the woods we wre in were big. Really, really big. There was a decently sized stream running through the middle. It needs a bridge to cross it... mostly.

I was being hounded by four of their team. I was cut off from my guys, and had been forced to run towards the stream, but away from the bridge. I saw a trap ahead of me - a low branch, and a log were tied together. I didn't know what would happen if I touched the rope, so I waited by the tree. After about ten seconds, I noticed something - I could climb the tree.

And climb I did. Really, really fast. As I saw the four after me, they were whispering, "Has he come through here?" "No, he'd have set off the trap." "Maybe he jumped it" "Andy would have shot him." "Maybe he missed." "Andy? He's the cadets' sharpshooter champion!"

Then Andy dropped down from the other side of the tree! . I was so surprised, I had a bloody stroke. However, he dropped onto the ground and said he hadn't seen me. (He had been looking the opposite direction from the trap)

I noticed he was standing right next to it. I dropped down onto the other side of the trap, shot, and dodged behind the tree. Now Andy is a rugby player and cricketer also. He has good reactions - he rolled towards me, through the trap. The log came down, a net went up, and he was suspended in the air. Pausing to shoot him in the arse, I sprinted. I got ten yards, full pace, before a tree in a V shape came up. Fueled by adrenaline, I vaulted through it, about a metre off the ground by the way, and kept on going. I was being pursued by five people, as another guy had seen the commotion, and I realised I wouldn't make it. I dived behind a big fallen tree, rolled and shot from the other end of it, hitting a guy twice in the helmet. He stopped to try and clean it. One down.

I started again, running between the trees, and occasionally dodging pellets that were whistling by me. I started sprinting... backwards. I was shooting randomly, and missing. I was just about to turn around again when I tripped over a root, still shooting. On my way down, one of my shots hit a guy in the throat. He stopped and tried to breathe, while I gasped at the pain in my back, and kept on running. Two down.

By now we had nearly reached the stream, and I needed to reload. Figuring I was trapped, they spread out to close in one me. Here comes the truly great bit. At full speed, I vaulted the stream. An eight to ten foot gap. I just barely landed on the bank, did an accidental backflip and shot two of the three guys opposite me. I then ran off, as they all started shooting after me, unable to cross the river.

That left them pretty speechless, but the best bit was later, when they showed us the highlights of our six hour game. That was last, and by god were people speechless. After about a minute, they started to clap. I nailed my ankles and knees doing it though.

Since then I've started doing long jump and high jump, and apparently, I'm quite good at them. :)
 

Lord Beautiful

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Aug 13, 2008
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There was this one time when this preppy ***** (and not even one of the pretty ones) tossed an insult my way that crossed the line by about seventeen thousand miles. I responded by verbally impaling her with her own insecurity, which shut her up quickly and left everyone listening speechless. For the next month or so, I didn't even catch her glance at me, let alone speak to me. I think I'll mark that as a victory.
 

Mr0llivand3r

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Aug 10, 2008
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Gorbek said:
Mr0llivand3r said:
yes i have. and i daren't repeat it or you might all just be rendered so speechless you will never be able to talk again
as thought that would matter, we never talk to anyone outside our mothers closets adnw e can just use txt and instamessaging, but away from the "all escpists are nerds" sterotype, TELL ME PLEASE, THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME!
well probably the most mellow of all the things i've ever done was that in fourth grade i called my teacher a "fag" out loud, across the room, to her face, in front of the entire class. the class laughed but my teacher just stared at me for like a minute without moving.

and NO i didn't get in trouble
 

dietpeachsnapple

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May 27, 2009
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In gaming

- killing 10 enemy players with one grenade.

In RL

- A friend was complaining that he received a 10 cent raise after several months of work. I told him that they only did that so they could give pay cuts later.

- Making people fall over because I walk up to them without being heard (ninjaing).
 

Falconknight06

Three Falcons in a Trench Coat
Feb 15, 2009
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I have a rather nerdy one to admit to.

I'm the president of our college's gaming ,but when I was a freshman, I had joined a game run by the then president. I've become known because of that game to fail at rolling dice in epic ways. The game was based on dice pools of ten sided dice where rolling a success was rolling a six or higher. The more successes, you have the more likely you are to do something correctly. I have succeeded on rolling zero successes and about 4 ones on a dice pool of twenty dice. This is highly unlikely.

Ok, the story now. We'd been playing this game for most of the year, with me failing at rolls I should have made the entire year. We get to the epic final battle where one of the characters is destined to be immolated by the villain. It's written on his character sheet even. Well, epic boss that he is, he is hard to actually damage. I happened to have a sword that if I targeted a limb and did at least one die of damage, the limb was removed. I went for his arm with the immolation ability and we rolled. I beat his thirty die roll by one die exactly and succeeded in breaking destiny. The room was silent for about ten minutes as our GM tried to figure out what to do.

I named the sword Destiny breaker.