When I was still at school, there was a kid who sat beside me, and he was a dick. One day, he wouldn't stop annoying the fuck out of me, and he kept laughing at all the stupid shit he was saying. The final straw came when he said he was cooler than me in every aspect, he started laughing, and I joined in with the laughter and proceeded to throw my desk at him, knocking him out, I then said "I'm better at you at shutting the fuck up and staying alive past 18.". Everyone just looked at me and the teacher said "Well Andrew, I think it's about time you took you chair and sit outside for a while.", which was cool, considering I was expecting a suspension.
Another time in school, a different annoying little fucktard was hitting my across the back of the head every time he walked past, so in English class when he did it, I stood up and broke his nose and walked out of the class. About 5 minutes later, after standing on the bridge that connected that classroom to the library, the teacher came out, she was my Homeroom teacher. She came right up to me and said "Put your hand up" So I looked up and she had her hand up for a high-five, she proceeded to explain that she wished she was able to do that, as he was annoying the fuck out of her too. I did get suspended for that one, but it was so worth it.
That being said, I've lost every fight i've ever been in because I never hit back. When it comes to a random beating and everyone thinking i'm awesome afterwards however, I'm the man.
