Fortunately, Unfortunately

[mcpop9]

fortunately you find another woman and marry her and have a nice life.

unfortunately you were nearly blind, seeing life the equivalent of pixelated and you found out about this, got glasses and found out you married a fat whore

 

[Kieros]

Fortunately, she still loves you.
Unfortunately, she has mind reading powers and found out what you called her.

 

[Rooster893]

Fortunately, she happens to like you calling her that.

Unfortunately, he has an VERY ANGRY ex husband, and he has a lead pipe in his hand.

 

[Galaxy Roll]

Fortunately, he's just fixing your plumbing.

Unfortunately, he's only fixing it so he can pump poison into your water

 

[M0rp43vs]

Fortunately, It adds a nice sweet taste to your water
But it's still poison

 

[TheKramers]

Fortunately, you have a water-filter that removes the poison.

Spoiler

P.S. You're all doing it wrong - read post 1. You're only supposed to do fortunately OR unfortunately -- not both.

 

[Someperson307]

Unfortunately, you mistake the filter for cake and eat it.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Fortunately, that was how the filter was supposed to be used anyway.
You think at least.
well it's working now, that's all that matters

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Unfortunately what you think doesn't matter, and someone laughs at you for doing it wrong. And they taped the whole thing, which is now on youtube.

 

[souper soup guy]

Fortunately the person who filmed it was a millionaire and you sued him for all hes worth
unfortunately all his money was counterfeited.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Fortunately you know how to decounterfeit money.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Unfortunately, it turns out it was all in Zimbabwe dollars.
Oh well.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Fortunately, you know a guy in Zimbabwe who'll exchange the money for whatever currency you need.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Unfortunately as you catch the plane to zimbabwe to meet him, you realize you were on the wrong flight and are now stranded on Zombabwe.
and the local zombie population seems to have eaten all the employees of the airport you landed in, including the pilot and technicians
Oh and you didn't get any complementary peanuts on the flight

 

[Ochidi]

Fortunately, they are just hungry for hamburgers, and only ate the airport employees because they weren't being very polite

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Unfortunately there is now no one who can fly you to Zimbabwe.

 

[M0rp43vs]

Unfortunately, it turned out YOU were the zombie the whole time and brought the plague to the country. You'd think you'd realized when you found you had trouble putting on your feet this morning and had worse than usual BO.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

Unfortunately your zombie brain doesn't know how to handle the plasma rifle, and you just end up trying to gnaw on it.