Friend dating sister

[Cilliandrew]

Haha, i was in this exact situation.

My friend's sister had a huge thing for me. I tried to ignore it because i've always believed in that unwritten rule of "thou shall not date thy best friend's sister", but.... She wore me down (she was hawt)...

We started seeing each other secretly..We were both terrified of her brother finding out because he was notoriously protective of her..

I think it was about 2 months in and she had sneaked out of her house to come and meet me at 1 in the morning..Walked her back to her house, and we were having a bit of a make-out session on her front porch when.. BAM.. Door opened and there was her brother.. He had been putting the cat out. Not a word was said.. he just quietly closed the door...


The next day he called me up and asked me to come over. I thought for sure we were gonna have it out, but not a word was said. We just played PS2 like we always did...

He NEVER did say a word about us being together.

Sadly, we broke up about 2 years later, and my relationship with him kind of deteriorated....More because of me then him (he still WANTED to hang out, but i was pretty hurt in the breakup and couldnt' stand being around...)

It makes me sad that i lost such a good friendship, but... to be honest, i would totally do it all over again the same way.. I'm sorry to say that, but sometimes the power of sex is greater then the power of friendship, especially at that age...

 

[TheMatt]

Total bullshit. Tell your sister about the chicks at the party NOW and punch your friend in the face. Bros before hoes EXCEPT when she's family.

 

[wolfy098]

Just get a pic next time he cheats show your sister and ASK if she wants you to beat the crap out of him...

You don't need her not knowing why!

 

[amrl]

Ask him about the girl who he cheated on your sister with and take it from there. There is no simple answer. Everyone is different.

stuff

You're overthinking it.

There are three people, A, B and C.

A and B have a relationship.

A and C are family.

B tells C about A and B.

C goes "oh, okay then", files it away in "things my family are up to" and gets on with his life.

C doesn't like B much but that doesn't matter because the relationship is between A and B. C remains supportive of A because A and C are family.

End of story.

brain hurts so much.

you could have been nice enough to use names instead of letters

even Amy Brad and Colin would have made it 10 times easier to understand... in fact..

Spoiler: fixed

You're overthinking it.

There are three people, Amy, Brad and Colin.

Amy and Brad have a relationship.

Amy and Colin are family.

Brad tells Colin about Amy and Brad.

Colin goes "oh, okay then", files it away in "things my family are up to" and gets on with his life.

Colin doesn't like Brad much but that doesn't matter because the relationship is between Amy and Brad. Colin remains supportive of Amy because Amy and Colin are family.

End of story.

Exactly what I was thinking. I had to keep going back to check which letters were which.

 

[Seldon2639]

Imagine if you had a relationship with someone going and you loved that person, and a sibling interfered and without even consulting you to ask you how you felt put your lover in the hospital because it was "in your best interest, because I saw her cheat". How would you feel? At the very least you would have probably liked your sibling to sit down and have a calm, rational chat with you about the situation before taking action.

Again, you're focused solely on the question of whether the OP should harm his former friend because of the cheating. I'm saying I agree with you on that count. The OP should not intervene "for" his sister. But he can certainly put the guy in the hospital for his breach of friendship and honor. You're focused solely on the "sister-boyfriend" relationship, ignoring that the "OP-friend" relationship came first.

I completely agree with you that there should be a segregation between the relationships. The OP-friend relationship shouldn't influence nor be influenced by the sister-friend relationship. But, if you accept that, stop trying to conflate them. The OP can beat the unholy hell out of his former-friend, and for reasons entirely divorced from the sister-friend relationship.

If my brother beat the crap out of a girl for cheating on me, I might object a bit. If he beat the crap out of a girl because the girl mistreated him I would have no cause to object (as you've stated)

 

[BonsaiK]

Imagine if you had a relationship with someone going and you loved that person, and a sibling interfered and without even consulting you to ask you how you felt put your lover in the hospital because it was "in your best interest, because I saw her cheat". How would you feel? At the very least you would have probably liked your sibling to sit down and have a calm, rational chat with you about the situation before taking action.

Again, you're focused solely on the question of whether the OP should harm his former friend because of the cheating. I'm saying I agree with you on that count. The OP should not intervene "for" his sister. But he can certainly put the guy in the hospital for his breach of friendship and honor. You're focused solely on the "sister-boyfriend" relationship, ignoring that the "OP-friend" relationship came first.

I completely agree with you that there should be a segregation between the relationships. The OP-friend relationship shouldn't influence nor be influenced by the sister-friend relationship. But, if you accept that, stop trying to conflate them. The OP can beat the unholy hell out of his former-friend, and for reasons entirely divorced from the sister-friend relationship.

If my brother beat the crap out of a girl for cheating on me, I might object a bit. If he beat the crap out of a girl because the girl mistreated him I would have no cause to object (as you've stated)

It's still wrong. Anyone who beats someone up over "friendship/honour" is a tossbag.

 

[Wibble]

Heres awkward for ya, this couple that had been together for about four years and after they broke up i went out with the guy. now that was all fine and dandy till my brother thought it would be a great idea to go out with the girl...yeah naw, it was beyond weird at easter dinner.

 

[Julianking93]

How cute, you're looking out for your sis! =D

But really, you're just looking out for her and this guy sounds like a little ****, so, yeah beat the living fuck out of him if you want.

Or you could just talk to him about it and tell your sister. [small/]but where's the fun in that?[/small]

 

[Low Key]

I have a dilemma very similar to that. On one hand, I have known my best friend since I can remember, but on the other hand, his sister is hot and I know she likes me. Fortunately, I have scruples and won't make a move until I have my friend's okay. Too bad he'll never give it to me. His sister needs to talk to him, but I know she won't. She's all about the "forbidden" relationship. That's why she has always dated gangsta black guys. Why she likes me I have no idea. Sure, I stay in shape, dabbled in the criminal life myself back in high school, but now I am pretty much a full blown nerd.

Heres awkward for ya, this couple that had been together for about four years and after they broke up i went out with the guy. now that was all fine and dandy till my brother thought it would be a great idea to go out with the girl...yeah naw, it was beyond weird at easter dinner.

That's really funny.

 

[Noamuth]

As long as he treats her well, then all should be well.

Though personally, your friend denying having anything to do with your sister? That would have pissed me off something terrible. I probably would have punched him that.

So yeah. Just make sure they're both happy and both safe.

 

[Numb1lp]

He is a jerk, but if your sister wants to date him that's her deal.

 

[firedfns13]

Btw, he is 17 (like me) and my sister is 19

How the fuck does a 17 year old land a 19 year old?
I tried dating a 20 year old earlier this year and that didn't work at all and I'm 18.

 

[Smagmuck_]

Well, might want to keep the M1911 handy.

 

[Kasawd]

I have a friend who has quite a hot sister. Upon telling this to him, he proceeds to say that he would be cool if we dated.

His reasoning? If we got married, he would like his brother-in-law. also, he thinks I'd be an excellent provider. That's quite the brother.

It all comes down to you, man. I'd do some terrible things to that friend because I come from a close-knit family. Fuck with one, fuck with us ALL.

 

[Wibble]

I have a dilemma very similar to that. On one hand, I have known my best friend since I can remember, but on the other hand, his sister is hot and I know she likes me. Fortunately, I have scruples and won't make a move until I have my friend's okay. Too bad he'll never give it to me. His sister needs to talk to him, but I know she won't. She's all about the "forbidden" relationship. That's why she has always dated gangsta black guys. Why she likes me I have no idea. Sure, I stay in shape, dabbled in the criminal life myself back in high school, but now I am pretty much a full blown nerd.

Heres awkward for ya, this couple that had been together for about four years and after they broke up i went out with the guy. now that was all fine and dandy till my brother thought it would be a great idea to go out with the girl...yeah naw, it was beyond weird at easter dinner.

That's really funny.

well it seems funny now that my bro and i are single and the two of them are back together hah.

and about the "i must ask my friend to date his sister" i dont understand it in the slightest why people think that. I mean my brother doesn't give a shit who i date.

 

[Low Key]

and about the "i must ask my friend to date his sister" i dont understand it in the slightest why people think that. I mean my brother doesn't give a shit who i date.

That's because your brother is cool and understands you are your own person. My friend is very protective of his sister (you wouldn't think so from all the pieces of shit she has dated), and I'd rather keep a friend of 20 years than gain a relationship that may or may not work out in the long run. I mean, I think she is hot, but me and her have gotten into it to the point where we haven't spoken for a few months as well, and it was over something petty. It was fairly recent too, like last month. We've kind of gotten past it and now I'm helping her with her computer homework, but still. It's a very storied thing between the three of us.

Also, another guy my friend hung out with tried to hook up with her and now my friend doesn't talk to him anymore. Albeit, he wasn't very close to the guy, but it's a situation I'd just rather avoid altogether.

 

[zen5887]

Btw, he is 17 (like me) and my sister is 19

How the fuck does a 17 year old land a 19 year old?
I tried dating a 20 year old earlier this year and that didn't work at all and I'm 18.

I'm 19 and I scored a 22 year old.

Anyways.

As has been already said - Bro Code

Extract from my version of the bro code

Article 3:
If a girl falls into the following criteria, she is off limits forever until the end of time:

A. Was an ex-girlfriend.
B. Your friend specifically told you he wanted her.
C. Is you're buddy's sister.

This isn't just some "mucho rules" as there is a rational behind it.

What happens when Friend and Sister have a fight, who will OP support? When OP saw Friend kiss the other girl (they are still teenagers, kissing is kind of a big deal), does he tell Sister about Friend? Risking upsetting Sister and pissing off Friend.

There are these politics with friends in any relationship but it makes it 10x worse when a family member is involved.

This is why Friend should not date Sister and why the bro code states sisters are off limits!

 

[microwaviblerabbit]

Tell your sister what you know. She has the decision to make.

Some people have different relationship set ups. Maybe he woke up the next morning and bought her flowers and apologized. You obviously were his friend for some reason. I doubt beating him up would have any positive effects. Just because you didn't know doesn't mean that she doesn't. Plus you have a built in bias. Your sister very well have hunted down your friend. (I have seen it happen before).

Though it is weird when people date your siblings, you just have to accept it. You aren't the only one who has relationships.

Two months of secret dating really isn't too much to worry about. The first month was probably just awkwardness. Talk to her, and find out what was happening. You then show her you care without going for lack of a better term "psycho-dad".

 

[Entreri481]

My best friend is also going out wth my sister... they did it on my bed....