Funny? Messed up? Cruel, even? You decide.

[Unsung]

Funny. Nothing but funny.

I'm also going to join in with the 'where the hell do children bite people?' thing.

A friend told me about this (except the story wasn't exactly the same). And yeah. I thought it was absolutely hilarious.
In fact, I would've done this myself (Okay, not really ... I would've picked that little brat up by the neck and hurled him into a shelf). God, I hate kids, if one should ever bite me, then he had better hope I'm not holding anything heavy/spiky in my hands at that moment in time. I'd be the worlds worst pedophile.

...what?

Sorry, I mean, I am the worlds worst pedophile. (Not meaning at the exact moment that I'm holding a spiky/heavy object) (By this I mean - I hate kids)

IT WAS DRUNK POST - DISREGARD.

...what?

Yeah...can we just pause the thread to discuss someone openly admitting they're a pedophile?

 

[MetaKnight19]

Wait, in what country are kids running around, biting people in supermarkets?

I was thinking this, I work in a supermarket and I've never seen or heard of kids biting people. Although I definitely wouldn't put it past some of the kids I've seen there.

 

[Valdus]

He's lucky he just got a scare. I'd kick any kid that bites me - they assault me first they're fair game. Maybe we don't get biters where I'm from since there are too many people around here that WOULD do something about it if someone bit them.

 

[tappajasieni]

A-MAZING. Sure, it's a little harsh, the kid's mom was propably terrified but I'd be willing to bet anything she learned to fucking control her child and the kid never bit any random people again.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

Is this a common occurence? Da fuck is wrong with kids where you come from?

 

[Pandaman1911]

It's absolutely hilarious. I really don't like children. I suppose it's mainly the parents' fault for raising their kid to be a total brat, but all the same, I really really don't like most children. So pretty much anything along those lines is hilarious. Besides, a little childhood trauma builds character.

 

[Jodah]

I luled. Serves the little shit right. Maybe if this kind of thing happened more often parents would control their demon spawn.

Personally, I'm one of those jerks that trips the little shits when they are running around restaurants and such. I have no problem with kids being there, hell I even accept that they will cry sometimes (assuming they are under the age of 5). But when they start running around and the parents do nothing, thats when I have issues.

 

[the.gill123]

My dad was sort of dating this woman a few years ago, her 5 year old was the same, the fucker bit me on the thigh, I just pushed him off really hard, and he almost fell head first into her computer cabinet. He did hit is arm on it though, and I have never felt happy about hurting anyone before, but the shit deserved it. Unfortunately, my niece is almost a biter, she will put her teeth on you, and you can see she wants to bite down hard, but knows she will get into serious trouble if she does, if my sister was a bad parent, I know, I would be covered in bite marks by now, so it is a case of bad parenting.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

That is definitely the most hilarious thing to appear on the internet. That little **** won't be biting anyone anymore. Sure it was harsh, but that ***** was ready to shout at someone who had just been bitten by her spoilt brat. Her and the kid both needed to check themselves.

 

[Gudrests]

Kinda messed up...but I luled so its ok

AND WHO THE HELL LETS THERE KID BITE PEOPLE!!!

 

[SweetNess_666]

That is absolutely priceless I'd have done the same lol

 

[monkey_man]

It's old, I read it last year. But it's funny nonetheless I guess.

 

[Sjakie]

pure comedy gold.
So what if it gave a gruesome scare to mommy and child, biting is worse then that. Little kid will need to get blooddrawn now, which evens out the score.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

This story always cheers me up, I read one a long time ago, it wasn't the same situation, but had the same 'Hahahaha, oh wait, what?' factor.

Apparently this guy was queueing up for ages to see 300, all the while there's this fat ***** behind him being loud and obnoxious as many fat women generally are.

Anyway, they finally get into the cinema and she sits right in front of him, still yapping away, and when the certificate thing flashes up with 300 she stands up and starts wailing, 'what, this isn't what I fucking came to see!'

Legend then has it that the bloke, now at his wits end, stands up and screams 'THIS. IS. SPARTA!' and boots her full force in the chest, sending the fat sack of cum tumbling all the way down the stairs.

The story ends with our hero being escorted from the premises to rapturous applause, closing with 'I think I might be going jail, but it was totally worth it.'

so the moral is fat people suck and they're all annoying? This thread makes me sad

 

[rob_simple]

This story always cheers me up, I read one a long time ago, it wasn't the same situation, but had the same 'Hahahaha, oh wait, what?' factor.

Apparently this guy was queueing up for ages to see 300, all the while there's this fat ***** behind him being loud and obnoxious as many fat women generally are.

Anyway, they finally get into the cinema and she sits right in front of him, still yapping away, and when the certificate thing flashes up with 300 she stands up and starts wailing, 'what, this isn't what I fucking came to see!'

Legend then has it that the bloke, now at his wits end, stands up and screams 'THIS. IS. SPARTA!' and boots her full force in the chest, sending the fat sack of cum tumbling all the way down the stairs.

The story ends with our hero being escorted from the premises to rapturous applause, closing with 'I think I might be going jail, but it was totally worth it.'

so the moral is fat people suck and they're all annoying? This thread makes me sad

Whoa whoa...I sad most fat women. Fat blokes are usually alright. Jolly, even. But, from my experience, most fat white women are desperate attention seekers that will inevitably be the ones who end up crying at the party. Every single time.

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

That's positively amazing. I'd be worried if you didn't laugh at that.

 

[General Twinkletoes]

This story always cheers me up, I read one a long time ago, it wasn't the same situation, but had the same 'Hahahaha, oh wait, what?' factor.

Apparently this guy was queueing up for ages to see 300, all the while there's this fat ***** behind him being loud and obnoxious as many fat women generally are.

Anyway, they finally get into the cinema and she sits right in front of him, still yapping away, and when the certificate thing flashes up with 300 she stands up and starts wailing, 'what, this isn't what I fucking came to see!'

Legend then has it that the bloke, now at his wits end, stands up and screams 'THIS. IS. SPARTA!' and boots her full force in the chest, sending the fat sack of cum tumbling all the way down the stairs.

The story ends with our hero being escorted from the premises to rapturous applause, closing with 'I think I might be going jail, but it was totally worth it.'

so the moral is fat people suck and they're all annoying? This thread makes me sad

Whoa whoa...I sad most fat women. Fat blokes are usually alright. Jolly, even. But, from my experience, most fat white women are desperate attention seekers that will inevitably be the ones who end up crying at the party. Every single time.

so instead it's fat women are annoying? you are generalising so much it hurts

 

[Ursus Buckler]

Legendary. I'm keeping that one in the back of my head for any such occasion...