Girl gamers and their boy issues.

[Asmundr]

My girlfriend's not a gamer and thinks it's cute when I talk dorky to her. And this post still counts, as I am also a woman.

*Prepares for inbox bombardment*

lmao, I never quite got why some guys jump on a girl as soon as they find out they're a gamer like them. Be a bit more subtle their guys.

Coincidentally, do you have a cute friend?

Fucked up my post- thanks for quoting, as it made me read it again. I decided to fix your quote as well.

Thanks? I didn't know theirs was something wrong with the quote.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well of course in theory it's not hard to get a guy. But that also goes for all you guys, not hard to get a girl. If you drop standards. No one does. So lets just say: It's hard to get a guy within personal standards.

Well you should try talking up girls then you would see it's a world of difference.
You can find the loneliest most desperate girl at a party, but the moment you walk up to her she will have her "wtf does this man bastard want from me" shield up, and even starting a conversation is like putting your head through a wall, your skull does harden after a while but it's still one painful process.

On the other hand girls don't even haveto talk, it's not a sarcastic remark here I met a girl who simply walks up to guys she likes and says "Hi", that is her entire pickup line.
If the guy is interested and confident enough for it to be a viable candidate he will do the rest, she told me this after I was stringed up on the line of her many victims.

 

[Tho1efX]

I think that the problem may be you bring up gaming as a main part of the conversation with a person who has no personal experience or interest in the topic. That's never a good idea in any situation. With any, to use and awkward term, "potential mate" you want to find common ground while not hiding your other interests but don't display them with a big neon sign. Also you need to have someone who will at least understand why you game. I was in a relationship where they didn't get it and they just thought they weren't interesting enough for me no matter how many times i told them otherwise. I didn't neglect them but when for instance I'd Skype them while gaming they would be offended even when I was talking about things other than the game. I gave this example because I know it is easier if they play games at least casually. On a tangent if you are a really hardcore gamer as in you participate regularly in competitions and spend most of your time practicing it is unlikely you will be able to keep a meaningful relationship with any person who isn't in your team because you won't have the time to devote to them.

Well this is my two cents on the subject.
Thanks for reading, Theo Jaklitsch

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That was supposed to be asci art

 

[Capt. Crankypants]

never had this issue with guys being I am gay but have with girls but I got lucky and married me a gamer geek girl who plays more games than me lol

Lol if I don't think I could date a guy that games MORE than me... It would be unhealthy... I think x'D
But it's nice you found a nice girl

Yeah, not sure it's a 'boy' or 'girl' issue, just the hobby they've chosen usually means they are hard to find. But you don't actually need a 'boy gamer' ( ? ) so much as you just need someone who is happy with YOU and just has an interest in things that you do. Could be whatever. I dunno if those kind of boys are any EASIER to find, from what I've heard about other guys in my stupid generation, but hey, at least it widens the pool a teensie bit eh? Just make sure it goes both ways yeah? If he likes you, and has an interest in things you do, make sure to repay the kindness, even if it's something you don't have too much of an interest in (I dunno, sports or something). Us boys LOOOVE that.

EDIT: and wow, just had a look at your profile, and you're reeeeally pretty. You'll make a nice lad very happy someday.

 

[Stasisesque]

there is more to you then just the games you play

I'm quoting this because... oh dear god, this thread makes me weep.

If games are the be all and end all of who you are, then the reason your gender of choice ignores you is because you are excruciatingly boring.

 

[Ishadus]

The few gamer girls that I've met have always, without exception, been in relationships. Contrarily, I have met MANY gamer guys who are single. I'm sure there are you enigmatic gamer girls who exist and are also single, but living in your limbo universe as you must surely do, you still have a much larger pool to draw from. It think it's just numbers, plain and simple, which result in such a smaller percentage of single gamer girls.

I've never been in a relationship with a gamer, and I always sort of wondered what it would be like, discussing Mass Effect over dinner, or actually being proud of her and celebrating when she 100%ed a new game It just seems so much more fun!

But hey...I'm 27, attractive, have social skills, live in Montreal, Canada, and I've been single for about a month. Any takers? (I'm joking...mostly!)

 

[Espsychologist]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

How old are you and what's your number (if appropriate to give)? We can yalk about Mass Effect until FTL drive becomes a reality!

 

[Maxtro]

I know an awesome girl gamer that I would absolutely love to have a relationship with. She's perfect in so many ways and I know we'd be happy together.

But for some reason she has no interest in dating at all. 21 year old girl and hasn't even kissed anybody yet. And she's not gay either.

It's driving me absolutely insane.

Why can't she just stop saying no and close her eyes and just relax?

I think it has something to do with her wishing she was a guy and not being comfortable being a girl.

It's almost as if when I try to make a move on her she's thinking, "Woah dude back off, you gay or something."

Her having low self-esteem doesn't help either.

I just want to tell her, "you're a beautiful woman, completely amazing. Just relax and let me show you how good it is to be a girl."

I've tried asking her out, tried to go on dates with her and even have heart-to-heart talks about why she doesn't want to date anybody at all. Now I'm just backing off and focusing on being a friend. Maybe as she gets more mature she'll realize how great of a guy I am and just fall for me.

Sadly I might be married with teenagers by then

 

[Datsle]

Dont be afraid to walk up to someone at a party/Ask someone out, rejection doesnt sting for that long.

Starting a conversation about Garrus or Miranda from mass effect 2 is abit weird even if you know the person, let alone if you Are both gamers at all.
Its too much, too fast. It wouldnt be a problem if said guy/girl Wore a garrus/miranda t-shirt however, and you could ease into the topic.

And relax, lower your shoulders, be content with life. It shows, and its attractive.
Easiest way to find that someone is to stop looking, but keeping your eyes open anyways.

And i only attract douchy girls
Good Looking sure, but Empty inside. Oh well!

 

[The Man With the Soap]

YES! Big problems!!

I pretty much have three main interests that take up 99% of my spare time:
Gaming
Modeling
Basketball (and a few other sports casually)

I have issues finding a working relationship (guy or girl) because my dating specimen is cool with one, maybe two, of my interests.
Gamers don't like me modeling or playing sports because the people that I am surrounded by make them jealous.
Male models tend to be gay or just arrogant douches and they think sports are for meat-heads.
Athletes think I'm the biggest geek in the world if I talk about a game other than Call of Duty.

(These are my experiences)
(I like parentheses)

I know what you mean. People act like gaming is this all consuming force in a person's life.

Yeah, I enjoy good games. I also enjoy the programming and rendering that is used to mod or make games. So, you might say I do a bit of modeling myself. But, these things take up a very small percentage of my free time. I also do a lot of reading and writing.

I am a multi-sport athlete (lacrosse being the biggest of my organized sports committments). I also enjoy running, fishing, hunting, swimming, and many other things. I am a huge gun collector and user. I'm always out on the range. I even do a bit of parkour.

However, the thing that takes up the vast majority of my time is my commitment to earning a commission in the Marine Corps.

I've been gaming since I could hold a controller, and consider it an essential part of my life. And I've rarely had a problem attracting guys (I'm not gorgeous by any means, let's get that out of the way), especially guys who game. My current boyfriend is a hardcore gamer, and he loves it when we can share a game or talk about our achievements in TF2.

My problem is that there IS still stigma about being a female gamer. I used to laugh when girls would say that they wouldn't go on voice chat online for fear of hearing "tits or gtfo'... then I had it happen. (And I apparently sound like an 8 year old boy on voice). There shouldn't be gender separation. Girls can game, so can guys. We should be a happy community. Am I right?

I cannot stand the other guys who play online and always harrass girls like that. But, what annoys me equally are those types who say, "I'm a girl. I'm playing Halo. That makes me special."

I always respond with something along the lines of, "That's great, miss. But, in case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of a team deathmatch here. Can we get back to it, please?"

 

[Artina89]

I have been in relationships where my boyfriend isn't that much of a gamer, and it has been just fine. All you need to do is set aside some time so that you can give each other attention and maybe find new interests together. The last long term boyfriend I had was into hiking, and as a result, I also picked it up and it turned out I really enjoyed it. I also got him into playing the retro Mario games and he really enjoyed them as well. In fact, I think I would have still been with this boyfriend if he didn't have to move to Japan (but now is not the time for "what if's") Just make sure you don't have a one sided conversation on your favourite games and you should be fine.

 

[Kingpopadopalus]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

I seem to only find the ones who have husbands, fiance's and boyfriends so either I have terrible luck or maybe you have terrible luck but I know my track record and its most likely me. Although I never say no to a new friend.

 

[Scars Unseen]

So yeah, basically I just never dated outside my extended group of friends. ^^;;

There's nothing wrong with that until you've dated all of your extended group of friends. That creates some... awkward social dynamics.

 

[Super G]

I personally have never run into that problem. I never really had that much of an interest in dating, preferring to spend my time doing things I actually liked instead of forcing myself to partake in dating. Dating was never really all that important to me, and in all honesty I preferred to spend my time watching cartoons or playing video games (still do.)

It's a real wonder how I ever got together with my boyfriend, who is also a gamer.

 

[Datsle]

So yeah, basically I just never dated outside my extended group of friends. ^^;;

There's nothing wrong with that until you've dated all of your extended group of friends. That creates some... awkward social dynamics.

And protection, or chlamydia shall spread like wildfire.

 

[funguy2121]

So yeah. I noticed there are bizarrely many topics about gamers(male) having problems with getting girls.

Just wanted to say it's not all that easy for girls either. (sadly)
I'm a gamer girl.. And yeah for me that hasn't worked out at all. Maybe it's just the lack of male gamers in my environment. But I wonder if more girls have been experiencing this problem.

For instance you're at a party talking to a nice guy... And realize you've ended up talking about Mass Effect. And the guy is like: Riiiiight... *backs off*
It's funny how non gaming guys are just as freaked out as girls... Oh well. Just curious after thoughts, and if more girls have experienced this problem.

What do you do other than gaming? Maybe this isn't the issue. Whenever I realize that a person I've just met only talks about gaming, I tend to get a very akward feeling, and I'm a gamer myself. It's the same with a person who seems to only talk about sports. There has to be something to talk about other than one pasttime in your life.

Or is this a common reaction when you simply bring it up at all? If so, I'd say you're mixing with shitty social circles. While the first thing I want to hear from a person I've just met is certainly not what their avatar's been up to, it's also not what's been happening with Meredith Grey or the cast of Jersey Shore. Most "normal" people relate through sitcoms, soaps and reality shows because they don't know how to relate to people except by saying that they, too, like popular phenomenon X. Most of them are eager to distance themselves from something nerdy like gaming, because apparently no one's told them that the overwhelming majority of people under the age of 35 do or have spent quite a lot of time gaming and that it's no longer nerd-exclusive territory. Boring.

Geeks are some of the most interesting people you'll ever meet. The unpretentious ones are also very very warm and accepting of others. They also lose their shit over a girl who games. Hell, I love rolling over and playing Mario Kart after... I'd change the social scenery if I were you.

 

[Zhukov]

So that particular problem goes both ways, huh?

I honestly did not know that.

However, I'm not entirely sure why it's a problem. Surely your hobby of choice doesn't restrict your pool of potential partners to just people who share that hobby. It would be like a guy who was into cars and mechanics refusing to consider any girl who wasn't also into cars and mechanics. Kinda silly, no?

I can sympathise with the talking-about-games-thing though. If I'm talking to a girl, regardless of whether we're just talking or I'm actively trying to chat her up, then I do not bring up video games. Ever. It would be like conversational suicide.

On the other hand, if some nice girl started talking about Mass Effect... yeah, I would most definitely not back away. Quite the opposite in fact. Not that it's ever happened. But hey, a guy can dream, right?

 

[Smerf]

hold on, i'm still getting over the fact that there is an outside to my house. there are girls. who play games? so like, Alyx playing half-life... isn't that like dividing by zero?

 

[Callate]

To be blunt, I don't think anyone exactly enjoys hearing someone talk about games that they don't play and have no interest in playing. It's like if someone moved the topic of a conversation into, say, the time they landed a big trout while they were fly-fishing or a play they saw in a rugby match a few weeks ago. Unless you also fly-fish or watch rugby, the movement of the conversation doesn't leave you much to relate to, and depending on your proclivities that either a) makes you uncomfortable because you're suddenly un-moored in a conversation you may have felt comfortable to be a part of or b) makes you feel less than enamored of the person you're speaking to because they don't appear to have any genuine interest in relating to you so much as seeing you as a surface to bounce their own likes/dislikes/foibles against.

Gaming has become more mainstream, but it's not 100% there yet, and even people who play games of one genre aren't necessarily enthusiastic to talk about those of another.

If you want to "feel out" if someone shares your interests without alienating them, you might do well to compare your interests to things that are more likely to be embraced. If you said that the previews of Skyrim made you feel like you were part of one of the battles in the Lord of the Rings movies, for example, you'd be more likely to find some common ground- a hell of a lot of people saw those movies, enough that most people would be likely to admit to it. Heck, relating how Shepherd's relationship with the Council seems to parallel a real-life political situation might not even be the worst track.

Mostly, it's about being receptive- no matter what you're talking about, if other peoples' eyes seem to be glazing over, it's quite likely it's more about not feeling like they have a part to play in the conversation.