Greatest Quotes Ever

[TheLaughingMan9]

"Its a trap!"

the late great Admiral Akbar

 

[Sarge7777]

"My Name is Michael J. Caboose and i HATE BABIES" From the Red VS. Blues series

 

[YellowZealot]

Quite Possibly

"Your toast has been burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!" - Caboose, RvB

Or

"Why do they call it happy hour? Go into a bar at 10 o' clock and you see some happy mother fuckers." - Robin Williams, Broadway 2003

 

[Soraen]

Voltaire:
Man is free at the instant he wants to be.

Voltaire:
It is better to risk sparing a guilty person then to condemn an innocent one.

Ayn Rand:
The conservatives see man as a body freely roaming the earth, building sand piles or factories-with an electronic computer inside his skull, controlled from Washington. The liberals see man as a soul freewheeling to the farthest reaches of the universe-but wearing chains from nose to toes when he crosses the street to buy a loaf of bread.

Ayn Rand:
A gun is not an argument.

Friedrich Nietzsche:
Independence is an issue that concerns very few people: - it is a prerogative of the strong. And even when somebody has every right to be independent, if he attempts such a thing without having to do so, he proves that he is probably not only strong, but brave to the point of madness.

And on a somewhat less serious note:

Bill Clinton:
I did *not* have sexual relations with that woman.

 

[talon92]

There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
-1337 h4xx0r

 

[Thegreatoz]

"What we have here, is a failure to communicate!" - Luke from Cool Hand Luke

"Do you know what they call a quarter-pounder with cheese in Paris? They call it a Royale with Cheese" - Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction

"SHUSH!!! My yeast is rising" - Ed from Ed, Edd, and Eddy

 

[Spacelord]

"I created Punk for this day and age. Do you see Britney walking around wearing ties and singing punk? Hell no. That's what I do. I'm like a Sid Vicious for a new generation." - Avril Lavigne

"People are like, 'Well, she doesn't know the Sex Pistols.' Why would I know that stuff? Look how young I am. That stuff's old, right?" - Avril Lavigne

This physically hurt me. I'm serious.

On a very related note, my quote:

"I suddenly felt a sharp stabbing pain in my frontal lobe; it was the unmistakable feeling you get when you walk away from a 30 minute conversation with a yammering co-worker--the feeling you get when you know that you just got dumber."
- Maddox

I feel your pain brother.

 

[slaygore]

"I reject to reality and substitute it with my own" - Adam from Mythbusters

"Why didn't you drink you're milk?" "THERE'S NO WAY I'M DRINKING SOME WHITE LIQUID SECRETED FROM A COW" - Ed from FMA

 

[L.B. Jeffries]

Hmmm... something sappy I think.

When asked by the Kubla-Kai (think that's right...) what it was like being one of the only Europeans in Asia, Marco Polo supposedly responded:

"It is the same here as it is everywhere I've traveled. So much of what we do in life is but walk in darkness towards a distant light."

 

[Undeed]

"Everyone takes a course in psychology when they get to college, they want to figure out what's wrong with them. If the fist course doesn't help they take another. The one's that never quite figure it out, they get their degree in the field."

"Psychotics build castles in the sky, neurotics live in them, psychologists charge the rent."
Both by realatives upon hearing my field of study was psych

"There is no eleven YOU FUCKING WHORE!"
Church, Red vs Blue

"Give a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he is warm for the rest of his life."
Source forgotten.

"The glass is not half full or half empty. The glass is too important."
Source forgotten.

Written on a subway or bathroom wall:
"God is dead-Nichzce"(sp?)
And under that:
"Nichzce(sp?) is dead-God"
I've got a book full of these, if I can be bothered to dig it out you'll have quotes to no end.

 

[wewontdie11]

"he's a *****, he's an alcoholic and he has some very strange ideas on how to treat small children, but all of this is countered by the fact he has a magical hand that shoots bees, and that's why he takes the prize, because no matter who you are, the minute you're compared to a magical hand that shoots bees you are going to f***ing lose."

yahtzee on the protagonist in bioshock

?I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake??

Dylan Moran

 

[WolfMage]

Didn't read all of these, but here's my three, and sorry if they've been used.

"Or as I like to call it, the 'Fuck You' button."
Yahtzee on GoW for PSP.

"We're going deep, and we're going hard."
"Surely you must be kidding?"
"No, and don't call me Shirley."
CoD4, Mile High Club.

"Useless wanker!"
CoD4, Game Over.

 

[Melaisis]

From the Lost season finale:

Spoiler: Not Really A Spoiler, But...

"Was he talking about what I think he was talking about?"

"If you mean time-travelling bunnies, then yes."

 

[Aidanadv]

Some timeless House quotes.

Dr. Cameron: Men should grow up.
Dr. Gregory House: Yeah. And dogs should stop licking themselves. It's not gonna happen.

Dr. Gregory House: Ah, the Socratic Method. The best way we have of teaching everything-apart from juggling chainsaws.

Dr. Gregory House: Perseverance does not equal worthiness. Next time you want to get my attention, wear something fun. Low-riding jeans are hot.

Dr. Gregory House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?

Dr. Lisa Cuddy: I need you to wear your lab coat.
Dr. Gregory House: I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.

 

[Geo Da Sponge]

My new motto:
"Morituri Nolumus Mori"
-Rincewind in the last hero by Terry Prattchet

Rough translation: "We who are going to die don't want to"

"When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend."
(Terry Pratchett, Night Watch)

"Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time."
(Terry Pratchett, Hogfather)

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

From a random bathroom wall:

God is dead.-Nietzsche

Nietzsche is dead.-God

But Zombie Nietzsche lives!-Zombie Nietzsche

 

[Usige Beatha]

From What ever COD was on the Wii

"Ok Men, our mission today was a simple 'go pick up coffee and dough nuts.' But the Germans drank all the coffee and ate all the dough nuts, so now we gotta kick their collective asses!"

 

[JackofTrades]

My fav serious one
"War, War never changes..."
-Fallout

My fav humor one
"Be fair my fair prince..."
"Who said I'm fair?"
*Shoot the other man with an mac 10*
-Last Action Hero