Greatest Quotes Ever

[TZer0]

"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it!"
-Tom Lehrer

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground."
-USAF Ammo Troop

"Go team retard!"
-Yahtzee

 

[Brett Alex]

"And if theres just no need to be so fucking polite, at least it helps you sleep easier at night,"

Please Don't ask Me to Smile-You Am I

"Corruption doesn't start with a $10,000 bribe, corruption starts with a policeman accepting a half price hamburger,"

-Scales Of Justice

 

[Cheesus333]

"* If you're looking for a girl in a burning house, then for the good of yourself, Harry, James, Heather, and Alex let her die like she told you to and get the hell back in your truck.
* If you're looking for your daughter with short, black hair (just turned seven last month), you should probably just go home. Trust me.
* If you're looking for Mary, she's dead. You killed her, sicko.
* If you're looking for revenge, you should probably sit down first and think it through.
* If you're looking for a way out of your locked apartment forget the hole in your bathroom, break down the wall by your bedroom door and ignore the crucified corpse of a serial killer rotting inside.
* If you're looking for your missing brother, for God's sake, why don't you just leave stuff like that to the police?
* Furthermore, if you're looking for a quiet place of reflection with a higher altitude than the surrounding area, then this isn't it."
-Uncyclopedia, on Silent Hill.

"Anything good in life is either immoral, illegal or fattening"
- The poster in my bedroom, on Murphy's Law

"Everything is good unless it's not"
- Me =D

 

[Fraught]

"Tommy Testosterone Tits" - Yahtzee
"Short answer: No, long answer: No and shut up" - Yahtzee

Just to add to the Yahtzee quotes I saw here.

 

[Mr. Moose]

'Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo' - Yahtzee

 

[Recyth]

"If Ignorance is indeed Bliss, then why sin't the world a happier place?"

~ Sir Stephen Fry.

 

[Di22y]

"Religion is an insult to human dignity, without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things but for good people to do evil things it takes religion"

-Steven Weinberg

 

[sheic99]

"Some things you know Enzo will not be forgot/Enzo is a ****"-Charged GBH

 

[spang53]

"Trust everybody, just don't trust the devil inside them."

John Bridger - The Italian Job

 

[Jharry5]

"Language is the heart's lament/A weak attempt to circumvent/The loneliness inherent in the search for permenance" - from 'Spoils' by Protest the Hero.

"Stonking great t*ts!" - Yahtzee.

(One of them is really deep, but the other... probably says more about me than I ever could).

 

[Anarchemitis]

Lambert: ""Nobody knows whether he's a US Agent or a terrorist"
S. Fisher: "Those things aren't mutually exclusive."
Lambert: "Hippie."
-Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow

 

[Milkatron]

"You will fight for people who would rather see you dead. You will fight for somebody who would fight to come first in line when you were to be stoned or hanged. You will fight for somebody who does not even deserve to lick your boots clean. But, albeit you will fight for them. You will fight because your own spirit says to you that; "forgive them, they do not know what they are doing". It is not their fault that they are like this, but you know that it is your responsibility to make their children to become something more - and then you must also fight for them. One can not hate a plant because it can not grow in dry sand, but one can take its seeds and plant them in fertile soil. "
Varg Vikernes

 

[wewontdie11]

"I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." - Stephen Fry

"Adversity is the first path to truth." - Lord Byron (I really like this one)

"Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen." - Winston Churchill

 

[bowchickawowow]

"Rehab is for quitters"
Anonymous

That was from a Jeff Dunham skit I think. It was Bubba he was with.

 

[The Sorrow]

"I did the right thing, didn't I? It all worked out in the end."
"'In the end'? Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends."

 

[j1-2themax]

"[Simple pleasures] are the last refuge of the complex"
-Oscar Wilde

 

[Zeke109]

"Everything can be solved with a little explosives."
-Scorch, Republic Commando

 

[crimsondynamics]

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." - Louis Hector Berlioz

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it hundreds of times." - Mark Twain

"If women were good, god would have one." - Sacha Guitry (not being sexist, I just find the quote funny)

"Suspicion breeds confidence." - from the movie Brazil

 

[JFKdidntLoS]

i know karate

-anonymous

 

[Ago Iterum]

Famous? 'Alae iacta est' (The die is cast) by Julius Caesar as he crossed the Rubicon, therein declaring civil war on Rome (For the good of Rome).

Not famous? My mate Adam once said 'You see, this is the best time of day to skate. Night time.'

I laughed hard.