Greatest Quotes Ever

[Radelaide]

Firefly:

Zoe: Preacher, doesn't the bible have something serious things to say about killing?

Shepard Book: Well yes, but it's fuzzy around the edges on the subject of kneecaps

 

[coren79]

"i would only buy this game if it came down to cheaper budget price, and included a bigger better game....................and some cake...................and belgium"
yahtzee croshaw (zero punctuation)

"time isn't made out of lines church, it is made out of circles that is why clocks are round"
caboose (red vs blue)

 

[KittywifaMohawk]

"What pants on head retard at Capcom."
Khell_Sennet

I found that hilarious when I read it.

 

[Fiskmasen]

I'm a salami writer. I try to write good salami, but salami is salami.

"For a second I totally forgot about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing and I wonder how clean that gun is."

"I ran. I ran until my muscles burned and my veins pumped battery acid. Then I ran some more."

"Even though I'm no more than a monster - don't I, too, have the right to live?"

"If by any chance Mido should find out the truth, you son of a *****, I'm going to rip you limb from limb. And your remains will never be found. Why? Because I'm going to swallow every last bit."

"Revenge is good for your health, but pain will find you again."

I'll stop there..

 

[Tyran107]

Francis: I'm gettin tired of all these vampires!!
Bill: They're ZOMBIES francis.

From L4D of course, just about everything francis says is made of win.

 

[[zonking great]]

Francis: I'm gettin tired of all these vampires!!
Bill: They're ZOMBIES francis.

From L4D of course, just about everything francis says is made of win.

Definately.

How about you knocking on the door of the Riverside Church safehouse?

"Hi, I'm Francis. And this is grandpa Bill and this is OH MY GOD THERE'S ZOMBIES OUT HERE"

 

[DolphinWacker64]

There was a greatest quotes of the video game word... so lets get the greatest quotes from everything: Video games, Movies, Cartoons, Real life, Songs, the works.

I spell success S E X Y... ah... E S S?
-Buck 65

Sheer determined retardation
-Ben 'Yahtzee' Crowshaw

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I ask you: Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
"NO!" Says the man in Washington,"It belongs to the poor."
"NO!" Says the man in the Vatican,"It belongs to God."
"NO!" Says the man in Moscow, "It belongs to everyone."
I rejected those answers, I chose a different path,
I Chose, Rapture"-Andrew Ryan, Opening movie as you enter Rapture.

This has to be one of the most enspiring speeches I have ever heard.

 

[rayman 101]

"I'm gonna make this pencil disappear!"
-Joker

I think you all know what happens next.

 

[Bagaloo]

"I am Andrew Ryan, and I ask you: Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?
"NO!" Says the man in Washington,"It belongs to the poor."
"NO!" Says the man in the Vatican,"It belongs to God."
"NO!" Says the man in Moscow, "It belongs to everyone."
I rejected those answers, I chose a different path,
I Chose, Rapture"-Andrew Ryan, Opening movie as you enter Rapture.

This has to be one of the most enspiring speeches I have ever heard.

I agree. It set up the atmosphere for that game really well.
Hmm...a good quote eh...

From Bladerunner (probably done to death, but meh):

Batty: Six! Seven! Go to Hell or go to Heaven!
Deckard: *smashes Batty in the head with an iron pipe* Go to Hell!

That whole scene gave me chills, Batty was one scary mutha

 

[Galletea]

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

 

[wewontdie11]

"I can't go to jail Roy, they'll rape the flip out of me!" - Maurice Moss.

"Jen, if this needle goes past here, you're fired. Does that make you feel stressed at all? Does it? Jen? Are you sure? Jen? Does it? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure!? Are you sure!? Are you sure!? ARE YOU SURE!? ARE YOU SURE!? ARE YOU SURE!?" - Denholm

"That's the sort of place this is, Jen. A lot of sexy people not doing much work and having affairs." - Denholm

" Shut up! Do as I tell you! I'm not interested! These are some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself.

P.S. No dogs!" - Roy's "bastard" lonely hearts add.

(yes I've been re-watching the IT Crowd)

 

[Chimpa]

"Do you think i should loose the waistcoat? - Think you should burn it, cus if you loose it, you might find it again" Tim, Spaced

and for the token pretentious addition:

"Sarcasm is the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

 

[dalek sec]

Zoe: Sir? I'd like you to take the helm, please. I need this man to tear all my clothes off.
[She grabs Wash by the jacket and drags him off.]
Wash: Work, work, work?

From Firefly.

 

[PatientGrasshopper]

I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out
there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. - Pascal

The Constitution is not an instrument for the Government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.- Patrcik Henry

"Any people that would give up liberty for a little temporary safety deserves neither liberty nor safety and will lose both."
-Benjamin Franklin

 

[Keylime Pie]

I like escalators, because an escalator can never break; it can only become stairs. You would never see an "escalator temporarily out of order" sign, just "Escalator temporarily stairs... sorry for the convenience. We apologize for the fact that you can still get up there."-Mitch Hedberg

I opened up a yogurt, and underneath the lid it said "please try again", because they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me. "Come on Mitchell, don't give up... please try again." A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait. Fruit on the bottom, hope on top. -Mitch Hedberg

 

[Fox1789]

"OK boys, why dont you have a little fun with her. Its not every day you get to pluck a flower before it has bloomed"

The Machine Girl.

 

[wewontdie11]

"Don't you DARE use the word party as a verb in this shop!" - Bernard Black

'I dont know, it's an impossible choice - walls, thermometers... I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.' - Bernard Black again deliberating the days entertainment.

"MANNY GET BACK IN THE WORM!" - Bernard Black

(I've moved onto watching Black Books)

 

[MRMIdAS2k]

CAT and LISTER are lying on bunks in a darkened room, watching
television.

LISTER: Cat?
CAT: Mmm?
LISTER: Ya ever see the Flintstones?
CAT: Sure!
LISTER: D'ya think Wilma's sexy?
CAT: Wilma Flintstone?
LISTER: Maybe we've been alone in deep space too long, but every time I
see that show her body drives me crazy. Is it me?
CAT: Well, I think in all probability, Wilma Flintstone is the most
desirable woman that ever lived.
LISTER: That's good. I thought I was goin' strange.
CAT: She's incredible!
LISTER: What d'ya think of Betty?
CAT: Betty Rubble? (Pause) Well, I would go with Betty... but I'd be
thinking of Wilma.
LISTER: This is crazy. Why are we talking about going to bed with Wilma
Flintstone?
CAT: You're right. We're nuts. This is an insane conversation.
LISTER: She'll never leave Fred, and we know it.

CAT shakes his head in resignation.