Greatest Quotes Ever

[mechaotaku]

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson

 

[Anarchemitis]

Drefus: "If you are not out of this room in five seconds, I shall not be responsible for my actions!"
Inspector Clouseau: "Oh, five is nothing. I can easily be out of here in three. But if you rea-"
*Drefus pulls out a pistol and aims it at his face*
Drefus: "I've had enough!!"
*Click Click, a flame appears out of the barrel, Clouseau gets a cigarette and lights it with the flame*
Clouseau: "Mm. A very amusing little gadget. A bit surprising, but my instinct told me..-"
*the Chief sits down, dismayed*
Drefus: "Please, just.. just go away.."
-The Return of the Pink Panther

"Oh No,they found Tom!"
-The Great Escape

"You're a fascist pig, Felix."
-Children of Men

 

[Pseudonym2]

My own suspicion is that the universe is not only odder than we suppose, but odder than we can suppose.
J. B. S. Haldane

 

[Phyroxis]

"How about a magic trick?"

 

[Ambarato]

"It is not about striving for immortality, but about accepting mortality" - J.K.Rowling

It was in an internet webchat i think.

 

[Anarchemitis]

"This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be!" - someone from Life of Monty Python

john cleese legend

This is an Ex-parrot!

 

[SomeBritishDude]

Well, theres the famous Winston Churchill quote.

"Ahh, Churchill, drunk again I see"

"Yeah well your a fat *****"

 

[Rajin Cajun]

"But this means that we also need to build our home and make it strong and well protected. We see, after all, what is going on in the world. "The Comrade Wolf knows whom to eat, as the saying goes. It knows whom to eat and is not about to listen to anyone, it seems."
-Vladimir Putin

"For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack."
-Rudyard Kipling

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!"
-Conan the Barbarian

"We are the wolf that stalks the stars in the sky
And swallows the star-fire
We hide amongst the night when light is gone
The light is within us
We run the ruin of fire in the darkness
Foes burn in our passing"
- Battle litany of the Space Wolves

 

[Toner]

(From Black Books)
"I?m about to stop playing ?who am I going to kill first? in my head and just go for what feels natural. I think I?ll start with me, then it?s you."

(From Green Wing)
"Join me again next week on this episode of "Let's make no fucking sense", when I will be waxing an owl..."

Dr. Caroline Todd: "Please can I have a quick word?"
Dr. Macartney: "Zoom. Whoosh. There's two for you."

"Baldrick, you wouldn't recognize a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on a harpsicord singing 'subtle plans are here again'."

Damnate it, there are WAY too many best funny ones to write down. *flusters*

 

[KarmicToast]

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing all day."
-Winnie the Pooh

 

[beddo]

You've got the thinking man's vote

That's not enough I need a majority!

 

[PureChaos]

'Can someone name a film with more than 2 words in the title?"
'SHREK'

 

[Galletea]

Today my 'quotes of the day' on my sidebar gives us this:

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

 

[Toner]

(From The Day Today)

"An old man stands naked in front of a mirror, eating soup.

He is a fool."

Add in a French accent and this is one of the funniest lines in the whole series.

 

[Lord Beautiful]

"Run into my fist for I can not be bothered to hit you." -Black Adder

 

[Avatar Roku]

"Don't piss in my ear and tell me its raining" -Wrex, Mass Effect (although many of wrex's lines were actually famous quotes, so let me know if that was too).

 

[KaZZaP]

Tell it to the one legged man so he can bump it on down the road

 

[Galletea]

Quotes of the day says:

Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had.

I'll only do the ones that make me smile. And only after this gets brought back. I keep forgetting about it.

 

[TMAN10112]

"It's never too late to eviscerate"
-L1250-22 Oct 2008 9:57 pm

 

[Lord Beautiful]

"Don't piss in my ear and tell me its raining" -Wrex, Mass Effect (although many of wrex's lines were actually famous quotes, so let me know if that was too).

Great line. Just like everything else Wrex says.

And on the topic of Wrex, if he doesn't have a major part in Mass Effect 2, I will personally slap every member of Bioware in the shins with a frozen salmon.