Greatest Quotes Ever

[CoverYourHead]

Discussing my belief on religion with a relative. I am an atheist by the way.

Them: So what do you think happens when we die? It's like sleeping? We become a ghost?

Me: No.

Them: So what?

Me: I cannot possibly comprehend what things after death will be like, and I'm okay with that.

Them:... That's amazingly profound.

"It's time to prove to your friends that you're worth a damn, sometimes that means dying, sometimes that means killing a whole lot of people." -Sin City

 

[Zephirius]

Oh, I have been waiting for this..

"Ignorance and stupidity are two very different things. One can be solved using a book, the other requires a shotgun and a shovel." - Some person

"I hate ___" - Francis, Left 4 Dead (Because he always says it in the exact same tone and it's funny how many quotes like that he has)

"Puny little doorstop...*switches tapes* BEAVER!" - Norb, The Angry Beavers
"Now we'll see who speaks first, we'll see now." "Open 7 days, including sundays." - Climactic exchance between Norb & Dag in 'Utter Nonsense'.
"POM POM POOOOOOOOOOM, dramatic reveeeeerb." - Baron Bad Beaver

Man that show is a diamond mine of brilliant quotes.

 

[sirdapfrey]

"Fear is the darkroom where negatives are developed."-unknown, but I've found similar quotes online.

Also (and I don't know the EXACT quote) from the movie "Patton," :
You don't become a hero by dying for your country, you become a hero by making the other poor bastard die for theirs!
Really that whole speech.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

"I've got better things to do with my time than to kill someone I don't know over things I don't care about."
- From a movie Steven Wright made.

"Only when the last tree has been chopped down,
Only when the last tree has been cut down,
Only when the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realise money cannot be eaten"
- An unkown Indigenous American.

"Politicians hide themselves away, they only started the war
Why should they go out to fight? They leave that job to the poor."
- Ozzy Osbourne, of all people

(Culled so its not half a page)
"If you're in a band cause you just want lots of drugs and girls, then just go somewhere else and do that, and leave Music alone."
- Bruce Dickinson, Live at Abbey Road.

I hate to burst your bubble on the Ozzy quote (though I may be late in doing so) but I'm willing to bet that Geezer Butler penned those words, since he did so for most every Black Sabbath song. It is an excellent line though.

 

[Soulx]

If I was being smart with you, how would you know?

 

[TehCookie]

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."

"If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off,"

"Consistency isn't always good, especially if you're consistently wrong."

"Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs."

 

[Berethond]

"In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from."
Peter Ustinov

To the world, you might be one person, but to one person, you might be the world.

I'd rather die like a man than live like a coward

A coward dies a thousand deaths, a soldier dies once.

You know you're in love when you cant fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams.

"People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It is in a glass jar on my desk."

Nobody told me I was a child prodigy.-Herbie Hancocok

Since time is a continuum, the moment is always different, so the music is always different.

?It's not safe, but yeah, I can flip a piano over. You take it on this side where there's not really as much weight.?-ben Folds

In my world, love is for poets.-TUOMAS

Hab dich liebe mean I love you.

Most of the hard-core 'Who cares?' types actually care a lot. It's just that at some point they've been hurt, and hurt bad. So bad, they won't let themselves even hope anymore for fear of being disappointed and hurt again.
"Speak the truth, but leave immediately after."

EDIT
Voila! In view a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi now vacant; vanished! However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified! And vows to vanquish the venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition!

The only verdict is vengeance. A vendetta. Held as a votive not in vain for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. HEHEH. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

I think I win.

 

[thebobmaster_v1legacy]

^That man is very verbose.

Anyways...

"How about this for a headline for tomorrow's paper? French fries." -James French, just before execution by electric chair

"Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment." -John Spenkelink, just before execution

"I'd like to thank my family for loving me and taking care of me. And the rest of the world can kiss my ass." -last words of Johnny Frank Garrett, Sr.

 

[mattttherman3]

William Shatner playing the role of Admiral James T. Kirk: KAHN!

 

[DI7789]

"This is the Jane Harrington?"
"Yes."
"Jane "Bury Me in a Y-Shaped Coffin" Harrington?"

-------------------------------------

"You mean, how did the war start?"
"Yes, sir."
"The war started because of the vile Hun and his villainous empire-building."
"George, the British Empire at present covers a quarter of the globe, while the German Empire consists of a small sausage factory in Tanganyika. I hardly think we can be entirely absolved from blame on the imperialistic front. You see, Baldrick, in order to prevent a war in Europe, two super blocs developed: us, the French and the Russians on one side, and the Germans and Austro-Hungary on the other. The idea was to have two vast, opposing armies, each acting as the other's deterrent. That way, there could never be a war."
"Except, well, this is sort of a war, isn't it?"
"That's right, there was one tiny flaw in the plan."
"Oh, what was that?"
"It was bollocks."
-Both from Blackadder

"Will somebody get me a sharp knife? I want to castrate the person who made this sauce. I'm not a vindictive person, I don't want to cause any pain, but with this man's DNA in the gene pool, humanity is doomed"
-From Chef! (Not sure if its quoted exactly, I found two versions of it and this was funnier)

 

[Meatstorm]

"People shouldn't be afraid of their goverments, Goverments should be afraid of people"

-V

 

[forever saturday]

this is a rough paraphrase from something my friend told me about:

"this war is more like a war between men and maggots. or dragons and wolves. or men riding dragons throwing wolves at maggots!" this is actually on the internet somewhere.

and heres something i made up right now:

"dont you know who i think i am?" which is a song by either fall out boy or panic! at the disco. fall out boy actually also has a song, cant remember what its called, but they say "the best part of 'believe' is the 'lie'". and their famous song "sugar were going down" has them say "im dying to tell you anything you want to hear/cuz thats just who i am this week". pretty much explains half the stuff that happens to me, not that anything interesting ever happens.

one more which i made up myself. it goes like this:

"reality and insanity are separated by the finest line".

only relevant because i wanted to draw a webcomic, which might actually be called "the finest line". it doesnt exist, at least not yet, so dont bother looking for it. it also might end up being called something else because its starting to sound like a bad title, and i dont even have a way of putting a drawing on a computer (my scanner sucks so much) and the only art program i have is ms paint (which i hate so much), so it might not exist for a while, if at all. also, its a problem that i like to ramble a lot, or as i just said somewhere a few minutes ago "i have a rambling problem".

 

[YouGetWhatsGiven]

There are not stupid questions, only inquisitive idiots.
-Anonymous

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
-Gone With the Wind

Your mind is like a open book with blank pages.
-Anonymous

I will cut you.(with a country accent)
-Some Movie

If I could speak to every person in the world, I would say that
regardless of race, ethnic background, or religion, everybody
has a special purpose, so please live for today and don't
stop believing. Also, go sox!
-Anonymous

As I sit here looking at the beautiful mountain range around
me, hear the ducks chirping, the sound of a softly flowing
brook filling my ears, and the sun warming my face, I think
"I really wish I was back in New York"
-My Dad

 

[Wilfy]

You touch my turnips and I'll fuck you up - Micheal Mcintyre
The only way to settle all your debts is to buy a shotgun and blow your brains out - Frankie Boyle

 

[swytchblayd]

"I need help... and a pony!" -Deadpool in Marvel: Ultimate Alliance (the game), when his health gets low

 

[Berethond]

^That man is very verbose.

Who, me?
I have a giant list. I collect quotes.

 

[TMAN10112]

Everyone should have a belife; I belive I'll have another drink.
-unnamed

 

[Weerez]

"Give peace a chance," - John Lennon

"The rich would have to eat money if food was not provided by the poor" - Chinese Proverb

"If you fail, destroy all evidence that you tried to succeed" -Anonymous

 

[Mr. Moose]

"I hate ____"

Francis, Left 4 Dead

 

[PatientGrasshopper]

Set us up the bomb.