Greatest Quotes Ever

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

Never seen it, never want to.
I've seen more clowns than the inner city sees prostitutes.
And I'm afraid.

But he's fucking hilarious. And dead. You know: d-e-d. Dead...

Ok, it's not funny if you write it, but in the movie, I pissed myself laughing.
And what's it with you and clowns? Got bitten by one when you were a kid or something?

Man, look at Ronald McDonald and tell me you can sleep soundly that night.

I can, no problem there. I've got more of a problem with the serialkiller who lives in my closet and nags me every day and as soon as I turn around he murders me. That guy is so annoying.

 

[xxcloud417xx]

"You will be... baked... and then there will be cake."

 

[Jackel86]

"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire." -Jaya Ballard, Task Mage (There's probably no one here who plays MtG, but it's still my favorite)

"Take a step back, take a deep breath, and while your mouth is open, shove your dick in it so I can have some peace, and you can finally get some satisfaction." -Adam Sessler at fanboy bitching

"When you're standing at the edge of a cliff, a step forward is not progress." -Demotivational Poster

 

[Berethond]

Love is for poets.

 

[Mephisteus]

A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "to whom it may concern".

When you pull the pin from Mr. Grenade, he is no longer your friend.

Don't worry about what people think, they rarely do.

"I have a policy about honesty and ass-kicking, which is: if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it." - Taylor Mali

---
Had more but I don't save them We currently have a few good ones at work

"If two wrongs don't make a right, try it with three."

"Making mistakes is human, blaming someone else is moreso."

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

Never seen it, never want to.
I've seen more clowns than the inner city sees prostitutes.
And I'm afraid.

But he's fucking hilarious. And dead. You know: d-e-d. Dead...

Ok, it's not funny if you write it, but in the movie, I pissed myself laughing.
And what's it with you and clowns? Got bitten by one when you were a kid or something?

Man, look at Ronald McDonald and tell me you can sleep soundly that night.

I can, no problem there. I've got more of a problem with the serialkiller who lives in my closet and nags me every day and as soon as I turn around he murders me. That guy is so annoying.

Listen, I'm sorry. I know I said I'd move out, but it's been a hard year.

But do you have to poke your rusty knife into my ear all the time?

 

[Blind0bserver]

It's nothing personal, it's just revenge...

 

[Haddi]

"You cannot kill the bathroom Jaguar, for he is already dead inside."

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

Never seen it, never want to.
I've seen more clowns than the inner city sees prostitutes.
And I'm afraid.

But he's fucking hilarious. And dead. You know: d-e-d. Dead...

Ok, it's not funny if you write it, but in the movie, I pissed myself laughing.
And what's it with you and clowns? Got bitten by one when you were a kid or something?

Man, look at Ronald McDonald and tell me you can sleep soundly that night.

I can, no problem there. I've got more of a problem with the serialkiller who lives in my closet and nags me every day and as soon as I turn around he murders me. That guy is so annoying.

Listen, I'm sorry. I know I said I'd move out, but it's been a hard year.

But do you have to poke your rusty knife into my ear all the time?

Well there's no porn in here, so I have to make do.

Also: "I didn't kill you. I just carried the bullet with your name on it."
Something to that effect. GUESS WHO SAID IT

Check the box in the left corner.

Should have been Mal who said it.

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

Never seen it, never want to.
I've seen more clowns than the inner city sees prostitutes.
And I'm afraid.

But he's fucking hilarious. And dead. You know: d-e-d. Dead...

Ok, it's not funny if you write it, but in the movie, I pissed myself laughing.
And what's it with you and clowns? Got bitten by one when you were a kid or something?

Man, look at Ronald McDonald and tell me you can sleep soundly that night.

I can, no problem there. I've got more of a problem with the serialkiller who lives in my closet and nags me every day and as soon as I turn around he murders me. That guy is so annoying.

Listen, I'm sorry. I know I said I'd move out, but it's been a hard year.

But do you have to poke your rusty knife into my ear all the time?

Well there's no porn in here, so I have to make do.

Also: "I didn't kill you. I just carried the bullet with your name on it."
Something to that effect. GUESS WHO SAID IT

Check the box in the left corner.

Should have been Mal who said it.

Oh, hey, thanks!
And right you are. Mal, as always, is too awesome to exist.
Sadly.

You're welcome. Now take that knife out of my ear. Please.

 

[Lord_Ascendant]

"would you kindly..."

i have started to do that in normal conversation

would you kindly tell me what game thats from?

 

[Zebra on Crack]

There are two Types of men in this world ones with guns and ones that dig.
Clint Eastwood: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly

 

[Stormcloud23]

"Beds give me nightmares"
-Sgt. 4-Leaf Tayback

 

[cuddly_tomato]

You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.