Greatest Quotes Ever

[Sporky111]

*Lets get this straight:I'm Sean Connery, you're lucky to have me in this movie, now let's get it over with.*
-Some comedian I forget the name of

"The Creepy Guy at Work" by Dane Cook is gold all the way through.

 

[GenHellspawn]

"Spartans! Tonight, we dine in hell!"

Second only to "This is Sparta". I don't know why, but everything Leonidas says just comes out ten times as manly as it should be.

 

[DoW Lowen]

Speaking of 300 quotes, this can only be understood in context

"Then we shall fight in the shade"

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

This is SPARTA!

How many times has this been posted...

 

[Berethond]

"Sorry Dokes, nobody mourns the wicked"

DEXTER Season 2

Why, thank you for that wonderful reminder of The Worst Musical Ever. I love you so much.

What? Dexter isn't a musical, did everyone start a new joke or something?

There's a song in a musical called No One Mourns the Wicked.

 

[roblikestoskate]

"Keep your words sweet -- you may have to eat them. I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again." -Stephen Grellet

 

[roblikestoskate]

"open the pod doors, hal"

"Open the pod bay doors, HAL."

fixed.

 

[BenMcMichael]

You can take our lives but you may never take our freedom!!! Braveheart

If i was two faced do you really think id wear this one. Lincon

 

[Balgus]

"SSSSSSSSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" no points for guessing where this come from
"Urgh!"- snake falling from a high ledge
yeah I'm an mgs fanboy but oh well(and for all grammar trolls around here I use "an" in front of MGS because I pronounce it as em.g.s

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

 

[GodsOneMistake]

Thats what she said

 

[barryween]

White! W-H-I-T........E!
Dodgeball

War. War Never changes.
Fallout

Did I say giving tree? Iment RAPEING TREE! Yeah the only thing hes gonna gine ya is a big thick stick up you big fat ASS!
Robot Chicken.

 

[Specter_]

<3

I told you you'd like how my mind works

Holy shit it's you.
I KNEW THAT AVATAR WAS FAMILIAR
KNEW IT

I'm stalking you...

New quote:

It's best to quote the comedy of others than to try and come up with your own and realize you are about as humorous as genocide.

What if it was clown genocide? Is it hilarious then?

Only if the Clowns are the ones commiting it.

Whatever, man. It's not funny if you know clowns, like I know clowns.
And I know me some clowns.

Like the one from Stephen King or more like the one from McDonalds?

Both of those fuckers terrify me.
The latter moreso.

What about the fat one from Spawn?

Never seen it, never want to.
I've seen more clowns than the inner city sees prostitutes.
And I'm afraid.

But he's fucking hilarious. And dead. You know: d-e-d. Dead...

Ok, it's not funny if you write it, but in the movie, I pissed myself laughing.
And what's it with you and clowns? Got bitten by one when you were a kid or something?

 

[Simriel]

Woman to Winston Churchill: If you where my husband i would give you poison
Churchill: If I was you're husband, I would take it.

At another time.
Woman to Churchill: You are drunk
Churchill: Yes madam, but in the morning i shall be sober, but you will still be ugly.

Edit: also 'War. War never changes' Is awesome.

 

[Noseman26]

Don't believe anyone has said this one yet:

"It's not who I am, but what I do that defines me."
-Batman

 

[neuromasser]

Sorry if any of this were posted, I didn't read the whole topic(yet)

"I would kill children of thousand planets just to see you smile"
-Comicbook Guy, The Simpsons

"Information is not knowledge,
Knowledge is not wisdom,
Wisdom is not truth,
Truth is not beauty,
Beauty is not love,
Love is not music
and Music is THE BEST"
-Frank Zappa

"Religion is the province of the weak-minded"
-Nietzsche

"...I am back from a world where such words are meaningless."
-Gray Fox

"If Jesus Christ wasn't just a myth, I would ask him to grant me the powers of Wolverine when I got to heaven.
Fuck Punisher's powers. He's barely better than the average HUMAN special forces agent."
-Viktir666(youtube video comment)

"Who is this man, why is he so beautiful and who granted him that?"
-Vojkan (rough translation from Serbian series "Open Door")