Greatest Quotes Ever

[Khedive Rex]

This is your captain speaking. welcome to flight ... 1, from here to there. Tonight we're going to be flying at a height of 10 feet. Going up to a height of 12 and a half feet, if we see anything big. You're co-pilot today is a thermos of coffee. The emergency exits are HERE, right next to me. If you see me go through this door than please follow me quickly.

Eddie Izzard is amazing.

 

[wadark]

"Oh, shit" -- David Levinson (Jeff Goldblum) - Independence Day

 

[Oh-Wiseone]

How do you tell a communist? Someone who reads Marx and Lenin. How do you tell an anti-communist? Someone who understands Marx and Lenin. ~Ronald Reagan.

 

[werepossum]

How do you tell a communist? Someone who reads Marx and Lenin. How do you tell an anti-communist? Someone who understands Marx and Lenin. ~Ronald Reagan.

Now that's classic Reagan! Thanks!

Yes, Eddie Izzard is totally excellent, although my American public school education and patchy old memory means a lot of it goes right over my head. Not many men can pull off witty stand-up with biting satire and societal commentary while dressed in drag.

 

[Gahars]

You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute twice. - Anonymous

I've always liked that one

 

[werepossum]

Anonymous hillbilly airborne trooper at Bastogne, upon hearing the city was surrounded by the Germans - "Them poor bastards."

Other anonymous airborne trooper: "How do you figure? We're the ones who are surrounded."

Hillbilly: "Yeah, we can shoot in any direction and hit them. They can only shoot in one direction and hit us!"

 

[shaboinkin]

dont know if its said already

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum, and I'm all out of gum."
duke nukem

 

[DEC_42]

"A US census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." - Hannibal Lector

Someone probably posted it before, but whatever.

 

[the monopoly guy]

"I could have missed"-The Outlaw Josey Whales (best Clint Eastwood movie), 1976
"If at first you don't succeed, why the hell are you on the bomsquad?"-Me, about 5 minutes ago

 

[Eogris]

"The brighter the picture; the darker the negative."

-Batman

 

[TheGreenManalishi]

"By the beard of Zeus!"

-Ron Burgundy


And, of course, from Clerks:

"My girlfriend sucked 36 dicks!"
"In a row?!"

 

[DEC_42]

Ooh! My favorite quote:

"...a grade [is]... an inadequate report of an inaccurate judgment by a biased and variable judge of the extent to which a student has attained an undefined level of mastery of an unknown proportion of an indefinite amount of material."

I forget who said that.

 

[Skooba Stevos]

"Dulce et Decorum Est Por Patria Mori" some retarded asshole

Not some retarded asshole. It loosely translates as 'It is sweet and fitting to die for one's country', and is the title of a poem by British poet Wilfred Owen during World War One. One of the most common misconceptions about war.

 

[TheIr0nMike]

"Not only are we going to New Hampshire, we're going to South Carolina, we're going to Oklahoma, and Arizona, and North Dakota, and New Mexico, we're going to California, and Georgia, and Texas, and New York, we're going to South Dakota, and Orogen, and Washington, and Michigan, and then we're going to Washington D.C, and take back the White house...BEEYA"
Howard Dean

 

[TheIr0nMike]

And anything Gir says on Invader Zim

 

[ShadeOfRed]

"Shoot her to death, but don't kill her!"
I love bad translations.

 

[Aries_Split]

"There can only be one boss, and one snake."
-The Boss
"War has changed. It's not about politics, ideology,or ethnicity. War has become a well oiled machine. An endless proxy battle fought by mercenaries and machines."
Old Snake.
"Your the toughest, hardest, craziest person in the world. Your...Your the shit!"
Otacon
"I have only one, very important question. Do you have a smoke?"
Solid "Muther fuckin" Snake.
"We may need you to play "Twing-Twang"
Nariko.
"This is good...Isn't it?"
Big Boss.
"Call me mama. Big Mama."
Eva
"I am neither enemy nor friend. I come from a land where such terms are meaningless."
Frank Yeager
"Falling into the nerve gas will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your testing record. Followed by death."
GlaDoS.

 

[Xhumed]

"Other vice may be nice, but sex won't rot your teeth"
graffiti, as recorded in one of those Quote...Unquote books by Nigel Rees