How to get back at TERRIBLE roomates

[AhumbleKnight]

A simple yet classic is setting off the firealarm while one of them is in the shower. This trick is most effective if the alarm goes rarely and it actually seems like a real fire. (Start a fire in a trashbin or somethin for smoke.)

But first steal all the towels and lock all the bedroom doors...

 

[Captain Lag]

If they share a kitchen then she could just stick laxatives in their food/drink for a few days so they can't wander more than four feet from the nearest toilet/bucket. Or glue their doors shut. If they share a shower then there is always the fun that can be had by putting dye in their shampoo.

Or Nair in the shampoo

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

You could always just take a crap in their pillow-cases.

That's what I would do.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

Burn their Beds
Release rodents into their bathroom
Buy a Hockey mask and Machette
You take the fun out of it.

You could always try paying someone $20 to annoy the crap out of them, or somehow make them think they are the target of Slender Man.

That's too cruel dude. I didn't sleep for days after I first heard about that.

Then you may wish to avoid These videos.
Great way to pass the time around 2:00 am.

 

[dark-amon]

A simple yet classic is setting off the firealarm while one of them is in the shower. This trick is most effective if the alarm goes rarely and it actually seems like a real fire. (Start a fire in a trashbin or somethin for smoke.)

But first steal all the towels and lock all the bedroom doors...

Niiiice.

 

[wench]

Do what I did.

I had an awful roommate my freshmen year. Not only did he regularly have sex in my bed, I walked in on him looking at porno on my laptop (when oddly, he had one himself), stored beer in my fridge when he knew there were random checks and if I was found with my alcohol I'd be kicked out of my program, was an all around dick, etc, etc.

Leave in the middle of the night, and take everything of yours - in my case I lucked out because everything nice in the dorm (lighting, TV, video games, fridge, shelves) were mine. I filed the proper paperwork to leave, and even though they required me to get a signature from my roommate tell her to tell them the reason she is leaving BECAUSE of her roommates, and that they would never sign it for some reason - chances are they'll let it slide without the roomie's signature. Residence Life will set her up with another dorm room. They wake up, and her - and all of her stuff that the roommates used - are gone.

This avoids the dirtiness of pranks. Issue is it assumes your girlfriend has some nice stuff that the roommates use. Also Beef Bullion showers are great, I remember that one from bandcamp.

Yeah, I'd vote for the move-in-the-night thing. Less chance of it backfiring, plus you get to claim the moral high ground. Admittedly the OP doesn't sound like you're going for the high ground, but it does have its advantages.

 

[wench]

Make it a punishment they learn from.

For instance:
I live with 3 boys and we share a bathroom. All of them couldn't seem to managed to pee without getting it all over the toilet seat, then never bothered to even wipe it up, hair were always in the bath, thick black pubic hairs. In short nightmare.

o one day while they were at uni I got some red stuff, tomato sauce, BBQ sauce etc, and made what could have easily been mistaken for 'menstrual fluids' I soaked a tampon in it and put some on the toilet, then left the tampon on the side.

They were disgusted, and I just said 'Oh I figured since you pee on the seat and stuff that you didn't seem to mind a dirty bathroom, so I must have just forgotten to clean up.'

Needless to say, no pee on the toilet seat again ever. Still some hairs, but making progress.

Beautiful, just beautiful. =)

 

[someotherguy]

Throw their beds outside, or take away and destroy all the light bulbs in their area of residence.

 

[TAGM]

Or hide an alarm and, when they seem tired, set it for 1:00AM.

Allow me to elaborate on that.

Get several alarm clocks and set them at different times of the morning (e.g. 1:00AM, 2:00AM, 3:00AM etc.) and hide them at random places throughout their room.

Allow me to re-elaborate:

Get a LOT of alarm clocks. And not just any alarm clocks, those ones that have mechanisms to keep you awake, like a bit that flies off that needs to be put back, or maybe it just rolls off. Set them for 1:00AM, 1:10AM, Ect...
(A bit expensive, but hey, who's counting?)
Tada! Instant mindscrew!

 

[SextusMaximus]

Paint bucket on door.

Simples!

 

[arsenicCatnip]

I can't say anything about getting back at them, but I still have something a former obnoxious roommate supposedly treasured.

She got a claddagh ring necklace from a friend, and was always trumpeting about how much it meant to her, and how much the friend meant to her. Then she pulled a lot of stupid crap which ended up with one of my other roommates and me moving out. When we were cleaning the house so we could move, we found her claddagh. On the floor of her bathroom. Sound like it means a lot to her to you?

So we kept it. She still thinks she just lost it, and I now have a lovely claddagh ring on a hemp necklace, while my current roommate has a delightful box chain.

 

[^=ash=^]

a friend of a friends room mate hated most people in his halls of residence, so he got a bunch of rape alarms and set them off at 3:00 am and just put them through the letterboxes of the people he didn't like, they are loud .. really loud and the best part is they are tough to stop .. one survived a 3 story drop onto concrete after a guy threw it out of a window

 

[MattZero]

Since nobody has said it yet.

IcyHot Cream. Put a liberal amount inside something that they are going to put on in the next few minutes and will not be able to take of for a while. It's more or less physical torture.

Had a friend who was on the receiving end of this prank in high school. Had it put in his boxer shorts after gym class. Always thought "crying in the fetal position" was more of a figure of speech than something people actually did.

EDIT: Set your least favorite one of them up on a blind date and hire Rick Astley to do a real life... no, no. That would never work.

 

[Ambi]

Not to kill anything, but can't you go talk to them for your GF and ask them to politely "Fuck off" and "by your own crap" ? If it's on campus grounds then get them kicked out and she's got the room to herself.
You'll make it worse by trying to stoop to their level or worse (Food poisoning ideas? What the hell guys?), so act your dam age when dealing with them.

This is a good post.

None of this petty revenge. I know much of it's for humours sake, but I must say it. None of these pranks. They are ultimately fruitless. They will bring no remorse.

Use your words to bring them to shame. I am not talking about vain profanities or slander. I mean convincing them to be utterly shamed at their behaviour.

 

[SmartIdiot]

Or hide an alarm and, when they seem tired, set it for 1:00AM.

Allow me to elaborate on that.

Get several alarm clocks and set them at different times of the morning (e.g. 1:00AM, 2:00AM, 3:00AM etc.) and hide them at random places throughout their room.

Allow me to re-elaborate:

Get a LOT of alarm clocks. And not just any alarm clocks, those ones that have mechanisms to keep you awake, like a bit that flies off that needs to be put back, or maybe it just rolls off. Set them for 1:00AM, 1:10AM, Ect...
(A bit expensive, but hey, who's counting?)
Tada! Instant mindscrew!

Hmm, going pro eh?

How about one of <a href=http://www.firebox.com/product/1450/Sonic-Grenade?via=ser>these?

 

[FranzTyphid]

Put bananas under their sheets so it feels like they've shat them self

 

[TAGM]

Or hide an alarm and, when they seem tired, set it for 1:00AM.

Allow me to elaborate on that.

Get several alarm clocks and set them at different times of the morning (e.g. 1:00AM, 2:00AM, 3:00AM etc.) and hide them at random places throughout their room.

Allow me to re-elaborate:

Get a LOT of alarm clocks. And not just any alarm clocks, those ones that have mechanisms to keep you awake, like a bit that flies off that needs to be put back, or maybe it just rolls off. Set them for 1:00AM, 1:10AM, Ect...
(A bit expensive, but hey, who's counting?)
Tada! Instant mindscrew!

Hmm, going pro eh?

How about one of <a href=http://www.firebox.com/product/1450/Sonic-Grenade?via=ser>these?

I like the Idea, but two small problems I see with it are -

A) They're gonna KNOW it's you, unless you're REALLY good.
B) You're going to have to be awake for longer then them for it to be really effective, and that kind of defeats the point. Still, might well be a nice parting gift - If you don't give them the pin back.

 

[omega 616]

You got to love the jokers on these forums, "kill them lol". One referance, ok but:

Kill them
Kill them with a knife
Kill them with a broomstick
Kill them with a hockey stick
Kill them with carbon monoxide
Kill them with bromine water
Kill them with a tactical nuclear device
Kill them with high explosives
Kill them with VHS tapes
Kill them with a high-calibre rifle
Kill them with the Black Plague
Kill them with smallpox
Kill them with ebola
Kill them with a monitor screen
Kill them with a tea cup (NOT A SOUP CAN - e-cookie to who gets that reference)
Kill them with your mind
Kill them with a window pane
Kill them with a scalpel, by surgically removing their tracheae while they sleep soundly
Kill them with a green audio jack
Kill them with a shoe
Kill them with world domination
Kill them with laser vision
Kill them with an HB pencil
Kill them by replying to their threads with long-winded ways to kill people


Kill them with fire

is way too much.

Also, an alarming number of people have pee ideas.

On topic, go all borrowers on there ass and tie them to there bed in there sleep, duct tape or string depending on how evil you want to be.

 

[Kodlak]

If they sleep with their doors open, put their hands in warm water whilst they sleep... a bit harsh but very funny.