How to get back at TERRIBLE roomates

[Hollock]

grow a twirdley mustache, buy a tophat, buy a cape,buy rope, put on cape, put on tophat, tie them up, set them on train tracks, what you weren't doing nothing wrong it was cold and they wanted their favorite sweaters, and the only thing that calms the common skank is the sound of something louder and more annoying than them. It wasn't you it was Percy Jackson! I'd like to see them pin it on you, only they can't!

 

[Death on Trapezoids]

Convince her roommates that she will be holding a small going away party or whatever, (this is important) the day after she actually leaves. They can't know she is actually leaving the day before. The day she leaves, print out kegger party fliers. GO INSANE. Hand them out outside classes, paste them in the bathrooms, I don't care. The next night, when she's long gone, hordes of thirsty people will show up at the door.

 

[Flying Dagger]

sleeping pills and "britney" them in their sleep.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

would that be against the law in some way shape or form even though its true? I kinda think its a bad idea because it could lead to us getting in trouble with the campus but I dunno.

Well, they do steal her stuff...
Make an anonymous tip to the police, cause a drugs raid in their rooms, and YouTube it.

 

[Flying Dagger]

dammit, ninja'd.
alternatively this:

Spoiler:

 

[Flying Dagger]

Or go for the sensible solution and get her to move out.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

well i can't think of anything legal other than childish pranks that wont work. But as far as the illegal stuff just a bunch of annoying booby traps that launch poisonus spiders and random bugs and nasties. For the one who has herpes put a box of condoms in her bed with a not attatched saying "use these you need them" along with a perscription to Valtrex if she doesn't already have one

 

[quiet_samurai]

I had a roomate that was messy and neglectful, so to get him back I went to the grocery store and bought a package of salami. I then proceeded to hide pieces of salami around his room in various places.....inside shoes, under the desk and dresser, behind the headboard, I even put one in his pillowcase. For about 2 days his room actually smelled kinda good, almost like a deli or something, followed then by 2 weeks of putrid grossness. The best part was when he finally flipped his pillowcase over, he had a perfectly round grease circle that never came out. Heh..... for months later he would randomly fing old pieves of salami in some various place.

 

[Angerwing]

1). Buy a few finches.
2). Feed them Alca-seltzer
3). Set loose in their room(s)
4). ???
5). BOOM!

That's fucked up and really kind of awesome.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I would definitely not suggest a kipper behind the radiator, or meat with maggots dumped through the letterbox, or coating their beds with Rice krispies or salt. Or waiting until one was asleep and leaving their hand in a bowl of water. Or rubbing Deep Heat into their undergarments.

I'd also not suggest dropping a frog in their house. Or a hedgehog (fleas). Or spambombing their emails. Or leaving calling cards with their phone number at the local phone booth. I certainly wouldn't suggest a potato on their exhaust pipe or cress on their carpet.

I'd suggest letting them 'think' you might have done that by leaving little notes suggesting such. Then let their own paranoia do the work for you.

In fact, copy all the suggestions above into a document, print it out, let it be found then deny you'd ever do such a thing.

Payback is so much better served ice-cold, n'est pas?

 

[Rock 'n' Soul]

What was it that they did to be so terrible in the first place? I've had some pretty bad ones in the past myself.

If she lives in a house, a really bitchy thing to do is to restrict communal objects that each house or roommate needs. For example, if your girlfriend owns the toaster, have her put it in her room, the same goes with pots and pans, condiments etc.

Overall, I think the punishment depends on the offense, but I resolved my problem quite easily by just not coming back.

 

[SilentVirus]

I'm not too sure on that one...Freedom of the press?

 

[Blatherscythe]

Put a bunch of empty pop cans outside of the room door when there sleeping inside, then head to a friends place. When they wake up... CRASH! Or you can put a frog in each of their beds.

 

[The Red Spy]

Not to kill anything, but can't you go talk to them for your GF and ask them to politely "Fuck off" and "by your own crap" ? If it's on campus grounds then get them kicked out and she's got the room to herself.
You'll make it worse by trying to stoop to their level or worse (Food poisoning ideas? What the hell guys?), so act your dam age when dealing with them.

 

[rosemystica]

I had a roommate that I absolutely hated. He smoked pot all day, sold drugs, was always late with the rent, lived like a damn pig in a sty, AND he always blamed the latter thing on ME making a mess... and at the time I had a job that kept me out of the city for up to a week at a time, so I was never around to make a mess.

Finally, I lost my temper with him entirely and on the afternoon I moved out, I called the police with an anonymous drug tip.

*evil laughter*

When I lose my temper, I lose it BIG TIME.

 

[bluepilot]

Catch evidence of them steeling (hidden camera, UV marker men, retain proff of purchase), then report them to the accomondation office and the police

Petty revenge will only get you into trouble, juitice on the other hand, only gets THEM into trouble.

Stay away from the herpes idea, you are victimising her and will get into trouble

 

[Gabanuka]

Coke and mentos in their room, I worked on my sister.

 

[ottenni]

Well chilies are good, if you get the idea. And deep frying a phone wont break it. So you could do that. Or put some meat in milk, leave for a while, and give the now pink milk to them and say its a strawberry milkshake. Then laugh and run.

 

[Hellz_Barz]

you could steal their favourite item of clothing and do the deed(solo or with a partner) all over them, then place them in their original position.

or

after you've left you could put raunchy ads on craigs list for your room mates. then just sit back and watch the randoms turn up. this one is particularly fun to watch.

 

[damselgaming]

Make it a punishment they learn from.

For instance:
I live with 3 boys and we share a bathroom. All of them couldn't seem to managed to pee without getting it all over the toilet seat, then never bothered to even wipe it up, hair were always in the bath, thick black pubic hairs. In short nightmare.

o one day while they were at uni I got some red stuff, tomato sauce, BBQ sauce etc, and made what could have easily been mistaken for 'menstrual fluids' I soaked a tampon in it and put some on the toilet, then left the tampon on the side.

They were disgusted, and I just said 'Oh I figured since you pee on the seat and stuff that you didn't seem to mind a dirty bathroom, so I must have just forgotten to clean up.'

Needless to say, no pee on the toilet seat again ever. Still some hairs, but making progress.