I was attacked by Twilight fangirls on the bus... Scariest moment of my life.

[=HCFS=Discoman]

Tis' true. You don't look like Shrek.

I told a girl I didn't let Twilight and she slapped me. And then her friend slapped me. We have to stop this madness!

I got kicked for criticizing a book that was basically poorly written fanfic from a hack writer.
yeah, there are people who avoid me because i don't like the book.
but i will admit to reading part of the first book, so any criticisms could be fairly done by firsthand experience. reading shouldn't feel like painful work. reading is supposed to be FUN.
but, with the money the author has made from those books, she might be able to buy enough writing lessons to put her on the level of those girls who write homoerotic fanfics.
she's not good enough to be a real writer, and never will be.

 

[=HCFS=Discoman]

I've been dealing with twitards at the *popular bookstore* I work at, staff and customers, and I have been informed that since I look like one of the vampires (apparently one of them is built like a mid 20s Marine as opposed to say... whatever the hell patterson resembles) I have to man the midnight release party we have coming up in december.

Please someone have mercy and end me now, Laura K Hamilton writes a better vampire novel and her stuff is pretty much smut at this point.

Question, does the populace thing I should wear a Tshirt that says Real Vampires Don't Sparkle or Vampires Suck?

even those vampire bloodlines books were better. at least those vampires: didn't sprakle, were completely badass, and, wow, would the sex scenes not be allowed in most books. hint: bondage and threesomes. pretty much pure sex and violence.

if you wear a real vampires don't sparkle shirt, then with how they would react, wouldn't that count as suicide?
I think you live too far away from me to make a mercy killing by me worth the effort. then again, unless you are standing right next to me, any effort is too much.
i kid.

but I do pity you. good luck surviving that. you'll probably die of stupidity poisoning from them though.

 

[Cobelo]

I really feel for you, man. I have the misfortune of having his last name as my first. Every single time i say my name, all i hear is, "Like Edward Cullen?"

Makes me want to punch something defenseless. -.-

 

[Yokai]

You have my sympathy. I do not understand those people. Nor would I attempt to take advantage of the situation,as some have suggested, because I do not want to be with a girl who actually believes the books are amazing works of literature.

There's something disturbingly enticing about the franchise though. I despise anything to do with it, but I've seen its effect on others--girls who are intelligent, reasonable and well-balanced. I don't understand what the appeal is, and how it is that it could corrupt worthy individuals so easily...

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

And all these girls were... okay. Nothing amazing, but still pretty cute.

And that right there is why I don't see what you're complaining about. Assuming you aren't so much older than them that it's creepy on a whole 'nother level, girls playing with your hair is something to relish. Take it from a man with hair past his shoulders -- it can be fun [sub]let alone the fact that they wanted you to sign their freakin' legs. You may need to give up your man card, like now.[/sub]

 

[CplDustov]

I've often been mocked for resembling the Proclaimers.

As you should. only kidding

 

[Zechnophobe]

I've been told I look like that Robert Pattinson dude before. I see only a very slim resemblance, but every few days back in highschool some girl would come up to me and told me I looked like him. It didn't help that I didn't care about my hair back then, and let it go wavy and everywhere, like Robbo does.

But yesterday I had to catch a bus home that picks up students from highschools around the city. Lots of younger teens I had been glad I could avoid going to college. When I sat down, I saw about six girls, (around fifteen or so) looking and pointing at me and giggling... I just ignored them.

BUT THEN one of them came and sat next to me, and just said: "Do you know you look like Robert Pattinson?"

I said I had been told that before. And yeah, that's when the chaos started.
Long story short, they kind of mobbed me, played with my hair and tried to force me to sign their legs and stuff. It was so awkward, because a girl I had known from my old school was sitting behind me, and we exchanged disbelieving looks now and again. Eventually half of them had to get off the bus (THANK GOD).

I swear, Twilight is like a cult. It's insane how some people can be so obsessed with something they lose all self control. Remember those stories about how people have been trampled to death at Twilight movie premiers?

Have you had any run-ins with Twi-hards or Twilight fans? I once told a girl I didn't like Twilight, and she has barely spoken to me since. If I told these girls they'd probably exorcise me or something.

What about you, though?

Help, I'm being forced to write on the supple young body of girls a year or three younger than me. Help. Help? I SAID PUT DOWN THE CAMERA AND HELP ME.

Uggh.

 

[RatRace123]

I'm insanely sorry for you.
Though I find it hard to believe you have Pattinson's Gorilla like eyebrows.

Ooh, if you ever get into that type of situation again, mention that factoid. Try to stress the familiarity between Pattinson and a gorilla. Though, there's a chance if you did that, they would gut you on the spot.
Yeah, Twilight's popularity is quite insane.

And, slightly related: I've been told that I also resemble a celebrity. Apparently from the right angle I resemble Starkiller from the force unleashed.
So I resemble Sam Witwer from the right angle. Not a bad celebrity to share some resemblence to.

 

[Tdc2182]

Scarier yet kinda unrelated story?

My best friend just Watched Tyler Perry's "For Colored Girls" and cracked up during the whole movie. Tyler Perry Fans of a certain different ethical background were telling him to be quiet and one of the ladies confronted him after the movie and asked him "what he got from it".

He said it was the scariest moment of his life.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

I've been told I look like that Robert Pattinson dude before. I see only a very slim resemblance, but every few days back in highschool some girl would come up to me and told me I looked like him. It didn't help that I didn't care about my hair back then, and let it go wavy and everywhere, like Robbo does.

But yesterday I had to catch a bus home that picks up students from highschools around the city. Lots of younger teens I had been glad I could avoid going to college. When I sat down, I saw about six girls, (around fifteen or so) looking and pointing at me and giggling... I just ignored them.

BUT THEN one of them came and sat next to me, and just said: "Do you know you look like Robert Pattinson?"

I said I had been told that before. And yeah, that's when the chaos started.
Long story short, they kind of mobbed me, played with my hair and tried to force me to sign their legs and stuff. It was so awkward, because a girl I had known from my old school was sitting behind me, and we exchanged disbelieving looks now and again. Eventually half of them had to get off the bus (THANK GOD).

I swear, Twilight is like a cult. It's insane how some people can be so obsessed with something they lose all self control. Remember those stories about how people have been trampled to death at Twilight movie premiers?

Have you had any run-ins with Twi-hards or Twilight fans? I once told a girl I didn't like Twilight, and she has barely spoken to me since. If I told these girls they'd probably exorcise me or something.

What about you, though?

Help, I'm being forced to write on the supple young body of girls a year or three younger than me. Help. Help? I SAID PUT DOWN THE CAMERA AND HELP ME.

Uggh.

QFT, bro, QFT.


This pretty much sums up what we're talking about, OP -- how perilous could it be? XD

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I've had a few people say I look like Josh Homme (from Queens of the Stone Age). The advantage to me is that people who know what Josh Homme looks like aren't braindead teenage girls with a false sense of romance.

 

[Bonus Punctuation]

Personally, I don't get why everyone hates Twilight. Let me spell this out, loud and clear:
NOT ALL TWILIGHT FANS ARE FREAKS!!! I'm a 16-year-old heterosexual male, and I am a Twilight fan. I got into the series to see what all the hype was about, and I stayed because of the compelling storyline and relateable characters. So please, PLEASE, stop hating on Twilight.

 

[theevilsanta]

The other day a group of my male friends and I saw this girl that looked just like Scarlett Johansen on the bus. We giggled for a while and then went over to her and started complimenting her and playing with her hair when she was clearly very uncomfortable. It was very appropriate.

 

[zombiejoe]

...

Lucky son of a- OH I MEAN FOR SHAME!!!! POOR YOU!!!!

but yeah, that's pretty crazy stuff.

 

[Feste the Jester]

People say I look like Daniel Radcliffe, but after hearing your story I take that as a compliment.

People say I look Daniel Radcliffe too. It does fit though.

OT: Umm, that's like a borderline of kinda cool and pretty scary. I'd lean more to awkward and scary.

 

[Snotnarok]

Quit your bitchin', at least you don't look like Shrek.

Or smell like him, that'd keep buses clear ...or keep him off the bus.

 

[Brad Shepard]

Ex Girlfriend, enough said on that subject.

 

[default]

I'm insanely sorry for you.
Though I find it hard to believe you have Pattinson's Gorilla like eyebrows.

No, thank God I don't have those monstrosoties. Mine are nice and slanted

Thanks for your sympathy, everyone. The trauma is just so hard to bear... *sob*

And why does everyone here seem to think I would WANT to take advantage of a bunch of younger girls? It's just wierd and wrong (and for the millionth time, I'm taken with someone else), and I treat Twilight fanatasism like a drug. They don't know what they're doing! It's not their fault!

The other day a group of my male friends and I saw this girl that looked just like Scarlett Johansen on the bus. We giggled for a while and then went over to her and started complimenting her and playing with her hair when she was clearly very uncomfortable. It was very appropriate.

Now THAT is creepy... And I can't tell if it's a joke or not...