If Optimus Prime was a _______, he'd be Optimus _______

[SirAxel]

If Optimus Prime was wearing sunglasses, he'd be Horatio Caine.
*YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!*

 

[Jamash]

If Optimus Prime was actually just 8 silent performers in a robot costume, he'd be Octomus Mime.

Optimus Prime is actually a beer in Fable 2, called Hoptimus Prime.

Why in Fable 2, exactly? Hops are still a primary ingredient in beer.

Because in Fable 2, there is a beer specifically called Hoptimus Prime and it's description reads: "This is as good as beer gets. Transform yourself into a drunken pillar of health and strength with this superhuman brew"..

I didn't want to say "If Optimus Prime was a beer, he be Hoptimus Prime" without acknowledging the source of the pun... it's not my joke, I just remembered it.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

If Optimus Prime were an eye doctor he'd be Optometrist Prime!

...

I'll get my coat.

 

[The Funslinger]

If Optimus Prime was actually just 8 silent performers in a robot costume, he'd be Octomus Mime.

Optimus Prime is actually a beer in Fable 2, called Hoptimus Prime.

Why in Fable 2, exactly? Hops are still a primary ingredient in beer.

Because in Fable 2, there is a beer specifically called Hoptimus Prime and it's description reads: "This is as good as beer gets. Transform yourself into a drunken pillar of health and strength with this superhuman brew"..

I didn't want to say "If Optimus Prime was a beer, he be Hoptimus Prime" without acknowledging the source of the pun... it's not my joke, I just remembered it.

I see. Fair enough, I did not know that.

 

[Daverson]

If Optimus Prime were to get a PhD, he'd be Doctimus Prime.

(Serious though, there's no excuse for bad grammar)

 

[Podunk]

If Optimus Prime was a contraction, he'd be Optimus I'm!

 

[Sarah Kerrigan]

If Optimus Prime was a form of currency he'd be Optimus Dime.

Blacklight (my autobot OC); You know that's dumb.
Me; Oh shut up you.

 

[iastreb93]

I just don't get Optimus Prime, all he does is play Metroid Prime!

 

[lunam-kardas]

Oh god I wonder how many pages this one will get. I will watch and giggle as it grows.

 

[orangeapples]

If Optimus Prime was a world famous eye doctor, he'd be Optometrist Prime

Am I doing this right?

 

[SanguineScale]

If Optimus Prime was a bank robber, he'd be Optimus Crime.
If Optimus Prime was a was never late, he'd be Optimal Time.
If Optimus Prime was a sold cocaine in ten gram increments only, he'd Optimus Dime......bag
If Opitmus Prime was deaf, he'd be Optimus Sign.
If Optimus Prime was a spice expert, he'd be Optimus Thyme.
If Optimus Prime was a rapper, he'd be Optimus Rhyme.
If Optimus Prime was a pedophile, he'd be Optimally Nine. (That's a stretch)
If Optimus Prime loved trigonometry, he'd be Optimus Sine. (or cosine, whatever's funnier)
If Optimus Prime lived in the jungle, he'd be Optimus Vine.
If Optimus Prime was an air freshener, he'd be Optimus Pine.
If Optimus Prime was a sofa, he'd be Optimus Recline.
If Optimus Prime was habitually happy, he'd be Optimus Cloud Nine.
If Optimus Prime was gay, he'd be Optimus Ineterior Design. (Don't mean to offend anyone)
If Optimus Prime..... out of ideas.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

If Optimus Prime was a UK Rapper, it would be Optimus Grime.

 

[moose_man]

If Optimus Prime was a person...
He'd be named Bill.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

If Optimus was a mug, he'd be Optimus Stein!

 

[nklshaz]

If Optimus was a 3 then he'd be Optimus Prime!
(+5 internets to anyone who gets the joke)

 

[hecticpicnic]

If Optimus was a 3 then he'd be Optimus Prime!
(+5 internets to anyone who gets the joke)

Already been used twice.

If Optimus was acceptable,he'd be Optimus fine.
Same one:If Optimus was a [iece of paper,he would be Optimus fine.

 

[Laurie Barnes]

Ok I love this thread, well done OP.

 

[Arqus_Zed]

If Optimus was an ant, he'd be Optimus formicine.
If Optimus was an anteater, he'd be Optimus myrmecophagine.
If Optimus was an antelope, he'd be Optimus alcelaphine.
If Optimus was an armadillo, he'd be Optimus tolypeutine.
If Optimus was an ass, he'd be Optimus asinine.
If Optimus was a badger, he'd be Optimus musteline.
If Optimus was a barracuda, he'd be Optimus percesocine.
If Optimus was a bat, he'd be Optimus pteropine.
If Optimus was a bear, he'd be Optimus ursine.
If Optimus was a bison, he'd be Optimus bisontine.
If Optimus was a buffalo, he'd be Optimus bubaline.
If Optimus was a bull, he'd be Optimus taurine.
If Optimus was a butterfly, he'd be Optimus pieridine.
If Optimus was a calf, he'd be Optimus vituline.
If Optimus was a camel, he'd be Optimus cameline.
If Optimus was a cat, he'd be Optimus feline.
If Optimus was a chamois, he'd be Optimus rupicaprine.
If Optimus was a chicken, he'd be Optimus galline.
If Optimus was a civet, he'd be Optimus viverrine.
If Optimus was a cobra, he'd be Optimus elapine.
If Optimus was a coral, he'd be Optimus coralline.
If Optimus was a cow, he'd be Optimus bovine.
If Optimus was a crab, he'd be Optimus cancrine.
If Optimus was a deer, he'd be Optimus elaphine.
If Optimus was a dodo, he'd be Optimus didine.
If Optimus was a dog, he'd be Optimus canine.
If Optimus was a dolphin, he'd be Optimus delphine.
If Optimus was a dormouse, he'd be Optimus myoxine.
If Optimus was a dragon, he'd be Optimus draconine.
If Optimus was an earthworm, he'd be Optimus lumbricine.
If Optimus was an elephant, he'd be Optimus elephantine.
If Optimus was an elk, he'd be Optimus cervine.
If Optimus was a ferret, he'd be Optimus musteline.
If Optimus was a fish, he'd be Optimus piscine.
If Optimus was a flea, he'd be Optimus pulicine.
If Optimus was a flying fox, he'd be Optimus pteropine.
If Optimus was a fox, he'd be Optimus vulpine.
If Optimus was a frog, he'd be Optimus ranine.
If Optimus was a gazelle, he'd be Optimus gazelline.
If Optimus was a gerbil, he'd be Optimus cricetine.
If Optimus was a gibbon, he'd be Optimus hylobatine.
If Optimus was a giraffe, he'd be Optimus giraffine.
If Optimus was a goat, he'd be Optimus caprine.
If Optimus was a hamster, he'd be Optimus cricetine.
If Optimus was a hare, he'd be Optimus leporine.
If Optimus was a hippopotamus, he'd be Optimus hippopotamine.
If Optimus was a hog, he'd be Optimus suilline.
If Optimus was a hornet, he'd be Optimus vespine.
If Optimus was a horse, he'd be Optimus equine.
If Optimus was a human, he'd be Optimus hominine.
If Optimus was a hyena, he'd be Optimus hyenine.
If Optimus was a kangaroo, he'd be Optimus macropodine.
If Optimus was a leech, he'd be Optimus hirudine.
If Optimus was a lemming, he'd be Optimus microtine.
If Optimus was a lemur, he'd be Optimus lemurine.
If Optimus was a leopard, he'd be Optimus pardine.
If Optimus was a limpet, he'd be Optimus patelline.
If Optimus was a lion, he'd be Optimus leonine.
If Optimus was a lobster, he'd be Optimus homarine.
If Optimus was a louse, he'd be Optimus pediculine.
If Optimus was a manatee, he'd be Optimus manatine.
If Optimus was a mink, he'd be Optimus musteline.
If Optimus was a mite, he'd be Optimus acarine.
If Optimus was a mole, he'd be Optimus talpine.
If Optimus was a mongoose, he'd be Optimus viverrine.
If Optimus was a moose, he'd be Optimus cervine.
If Optimus was a mosquito, he'd be Optimus aedine.
If Optimus was a mouse, he'd be Optimus murine.
If Optimus was an octopus, he'd be Optimus octopine.
If Optimus was an opposum, he'd be Optimus didelphine.
If Optimus was an oryx, he'd be Optimus orygine.
If Optimus was an otter, he'd be Optimus lutrine.
If Optimus was an ox, he'd be Optimus bovine.
If Optimus was an oyster, he'd be Optimus ostracine.
If Optimus was a panther, he'd be Optimus pantherine.
If Optimus was a pig, he'd be Optimus porcine.
If Optimus was a porcupine, he'd be Optimus hystricine.
If Optimus was a porpoise, he'd be Optimus phocaenine.
If Optimus was a python, he'd be Optimus pythonine.
If Optimus was a rabbit, he'd be Optimus lapine.
If Optimus was a raccoon, he'd be Optimus procyonine.
If Optimus was a ram, he'd be Optimus arietine.
If Optimus was a rat, he'd be Optimus murine.
If Optimus was a rattlesnake, he'd be Optimus crotaline.
If Optimus was a reindeer, he'd be Optimus rangiferine.
If Optimus was a rhinoceros, he'd be Optimus ceratorhine.
If Optimus was a rodent, he'd be Optimus glirine.
If Optimus was a roebuck, he'd be Optimus capreoline.
If Optimus was a sable, he'd be Optimus zibeline.
If Optimus was a salamander, he'd be Optimus salamandrine.
If Optimus was a sea horse, he'd be Optimus hippocampine.
If Optimus was a sea lion, he'd be Optimus otarine.
If Optimus was a seal, he'd be Optimus phocine.
If Optimus was a serpent, he'd be Optimus serpentine.
If Optimus was a sheep, he'd be Optimus ovine.
If Optimus was a shrew, he'd be Optimus soricine.
If Optimus was a silkworm, he'd be Optimus bombycine.
If Optimus was a skunk, he'd be Optimus musteline.
If Optimus was a slug, he'd be Optimus limacine.
If Optimus was a smelt, he'd be Optimus atherine.
If Optimus was a squirrel, he'd be Optimus sciurine.
If Optimus was a stag, he'd be Optimus cervine.
If Optimus was a sturgeon, he'd be Optimus acipenserine.
If Optimus was a termite, he'd be Optimus termitine.
If Optimus was a tick, he'd be Optimus acarine.
If Optimus was a tiger, he'd be Optimus tigrine.
If Optimus was a tortoise, he'd be Optimus testudine.
If Optimus was a turtle, he'd be Optimus chelonian.
If Optimus was a vole, he'd be Optimus microtine.
If Optimus was a wasp, he'd be Optimus vespine.
If Optimus was a weasel, he'd be Optimus musteline.
If Optimus was a wolf, he'd be Optimus lupine.
If Optimus was a worm, he'd be Optimus vermian.
If Optimus was a zebra, he'd be Optimus zebrine.

Spoiler: Last one

And if Optimus had shot up a school, he'd be Optimus Columbine.

Aaaaand, I'm out.

 

[tzimize]

If Optimus Prime was a narcissist, he'd be Optimus I'm.

Yeah, that's the best I got.

Nice.

That is all.