If someone is a post-op transsexual, are they obligated to tell the person they are pursuing/dating?

[Helmholtz Watson]

Well I wonder why you said "In return" when you were explicitly making it all one sided where they have to talk for your sake instead of the other way around or at least having you explicitly tell them what you want. Probably to keep up the illusion your whole argument isn't just self-serving.

your looking into too much the choice of words I use. Just poor phrasing on my part.

-_- ....yeah it's really self serving of me to want to be able to choose whether or not I'm with a transsexual.

It's really self serving of you to expect them to tell you personal information just for your sake, ignoring what they feel about giving it out when all you need to do is tell them that you don't like transsexuals.

Again if I know they are a mtf, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are a mtf(lets assume they had really good surgery), I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Well I wonder why you said "In return" when you were explicitly making it all one sided where they have to talk for your sake instead of the other way around or at least having you explicitly tell them what you want. Probably to keep up the illusion your whole argument isn't just self-serving.

your looking into too much the choice of words I use. Just poor phrasing on my part.

-_- ....yeah it's really self serving of me to want to be able to choose whether or not I'm with a transsexual.

It's really self serving of you to expect them to tell you personal information just for your sake, ignoring what they feel about giving it out when all you need to do is tell them that you don't like transsexuals.

Again if I know they are a mtf, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are a mtf(lets assume they had really good surgery), I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

Self-serving as usual. How about you tell them regardless so they don't waste their time. It's the easy option if you actually care. Otherwise suck it up, you didn't have the guts to pick the easy solution, so deal with it.

What you're saying is the equivalent of:

Again if I know they are anti-trans, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are anti-trans, I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

But nope, you won't tell them. Double standards. You're just saying things that single sidedly cater to your desires.

How do I tell a transsexual I don't want to date them unless I know they are transsexual to begin with?

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Well I wonder why you said "In return" when you were explicitly making it all one sided where they have to talk for your sake instead of the other way around or at least having you explicitly tell them what you want. Probably to keep up the illusion your whole argument isn't just self-serving.

your looking into too much the choice of words I use. Just poor phrasing on my part.

-_- ....yeah it's really self serving of me to want to be able to choose whether or not I'm with a transsexual.

It's really self serving of you to expect them to tell you personal information just for your sake, ignoring what they feel about giving it out when all you need to do is tell them that you don't like transsexuals.

Again if I know they are a mtf, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are a mtf(lets assume they had really good surgery), I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

Self-serving as usual. How about you tell them regardless so they don't waste their time. It's the easy option if you actually care. Otherwise suck it up, you didn't have the guts to pick the easy solution, so deal with it.

What you're saying is the equivalent of:

Again if I know they are anti-trans, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are anti-trans, I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

But nope, you won't tell them. Double standards. You're just saying things that single sidedly cater to your desires.

How do I tell a transsexual I don't want to date them unless I know they are transsexual to begin with?

Are you serious? Do you really need to be spoon fed the solution to that problem? You tell everyone you wouldn't want to date a transsexual. You're expecting transsexuals to tell people whether they care or not after all.

except the person I'm out with might get pissed that I brought it up because it might suggest that I think there a mtf.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Well I wonder why you said "In return" when you were explicitly making it all one sided where they have to talk for your sake instead of the other way around or at least having you explicitly tell them what you want. Probably to keep up the illusion your whole argument isn't just self-serving.

your looking into too much the choice of words I use. Just poor phrasing on my part.

-_- ....yeah it's really self serving of me to want to be able to choose whether or not I'm with a transsexual.

It's really self serving of you to expect them to tell you personal information just for your sake, ignoring what they feel about giving it out when all you need to do is tell them that you don't like transsexuals.

Again if I know they are a mtf, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are a mtf(lets assume they had really good surgery), I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

I'm not the one that choose to have the surgery, so I don't see why I have to go to ever person I might date, and assume they might have had surgery.
Self-serving as usual. How about you tell them regardless so they don't waste their time. It's the easy option if you actually care. Otherwise suck it up, you didn't have the guts to pick the easy solution, so deal with it.

What you're saying is the equivalent of:

Again if I know they are anti-trans, I won't waist their time, I tell them that I would never want to be more than friends with them. HOWEVER, if I don't know that they are anti-trans, I think they should tell me so that I have a choice.

But nope, you won't tell them. Double standards. You're just saying things that single sidedly cater to your desires.

How do I tell a transsexual I don't want to date them unless I know they are transsexual to begin with?

Are you serious? Do you really need to be spoon fed the solution to that problem? You tell everyone you wouldn't want to date a transsexual. You're expecting transsexuals to tell people whether they care or not after all.

except the person I'm out with might get pissed that I brought it up because it might suggest that I think there a mtf.

And? It's supposed to be all one sided because you have a minor worry? Oh I'm so sorry, it's not as if transsexuals have anything more serious to worry about than your inability to phrase your insecurities in a manner that doesn't insult your date.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Well I wonder why you said "In return" when you were explicitly making it all one sided where they have to talk for your sake instead of the other way around or at least having you explicitly tell them what you want. Probably to keep up the illusion your whole argument isn't just self-serving.

your looking into too much the choice of words I use. Just poor phrasing on my part.

-_- ....yeah it's really self serving of me to want to be able to choose whether or not I'm with a transsexual.

It's really self serving of you to expect them to tell you personal information just for your sake, ignoring what they feel about giving it out when all you need to do is tell them that you don't like transsexuals.

no
the opus should be on the person with the secret. Same as any major often dealbreaking secrets should be. Sure it may be uncomfortable to tell but its better than lying and causing hurt to everyone later on just because they didn't want to do something serioues. Its avoidance.

It isn't a secret. They're a woman, nothing more to it. Oh you want to know extra details that aren't readily apparent? You ask.

It is a secret to hide what your gender was when you were born and how you went through surgery to "change" it.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Nope, no one asked them did they? Failing to display birth gender by looks isn't a secret.

It is a secret that they had to get surgery to change their appearance to mimic that of a women.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Nope, no one asked them did they? Failing to display birth gender by looks isn't a secret.

It is a secret that they had to get surgery to change their appearance to mimic that of a women.

Nope, no more a secret than your views that you don't state upfront.

Yep, they had surgery to mimic the face/body of a women and they are misleading me.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Nope, no one asked them did they? Failing to display birth gender by looks isn't a secret.

It is a secret that they had to get surgery to change their appearance to mimic that of a women.

Nope, no more a secret than your views that you don't state upfront.

Yep, they had surgery to mimic the face/body of a women and they are misleading me.

They are women so that's not misleading.

no, they are mtf women, not "cis-women".

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Nope, no one asked them did they? Failing to display birth gender by looks isn't a secret.

It is a secret that they had to get surgery to change their appearance to mimic that of a women.

Nope, no more a secret than your views that you don't state upfront.

Yep, they had surgery to mimic the face/body of a women and they are misleading me.

They are women so that's not misleading.

no, they are mtf women, not "cis-women".

Key word: women. They are women. Transgender or cisgender doesn't change that. Too bad for you there. Also too bad that you're the one that is at the whims of the more informed.

They can call themselves whatever they like.

So we can agree that it is a secret that transsexuals are keeping? Ok, good!