If you went skydiving, and neither one of your parachutes worked...
- Thread starter UltimatheChosen
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the scenario in my head:
i radio the pilot telling them to try and catch me, i'm 'caught' 100 feet from the ground, the pilot pulls up to avoid crashing, i fly off the plane wing at a very horizontal angle... i fly towaards a road screaming "fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit!" i hit a bus rolling off of it at a high speed, land on a mini which in turn skids out of control and flings me through a store window, i crash through the window landing on a sexy blonde trying out a mattress in the 69 position... best day of my life!
and that is how it happened in my head!
i radio the pilot telling them to try and catch me, i'm 'caught' 100 feet from the ground, the pilot pulls up to avoid crashing, i fly off the plane wing at a very horizontal angle... i fly towaards a road screaming "fuck shit fuck shit fuck shit!" i hit a bus rolling off of it at a high speed, land on a mini which in turn skids out of control and flings me through a store window, i crash through the window landing on a sexy blonde trying out a mattress in the 69 position... best day of my life!
and that is how it happened in my head!
I think the safest option is to take your shirt off, and flail about trying to put it over your legs. Stretch legs apart to make a rudimentary web between your legs. Then avoid all water bodies, and hope to hell you are for some reason landing near snow. Aim for a big snow drift or powder covered mountain and try and hit it.
My thoughts are that if skiiers and snowboarders can fall over 100 metres with only scratches if they land in powder, it would be much safer than land or a lake say. Sure, at that height they are only travelling at just under half the terminal velocity of the skydiver, but it is a much better result than landing on anything else. The key is to land flat on your back.
Probably very unlikely to work, but with nothing left to lose id give it a go and pray someone came to dig me out. Why people jump off 100 metre cliffs on purpose is beyond me, that takes a real adrenaline junkie.
My thoughts are that if skiiers and snowboarders can fall over 100 metres with only scratches if they land in powder, it would be much safer than land or a lake say. Sure, at that height they are only travelling at just under half the terminal velocity of the skydiver, but it is a much better result than landing on anything else. The key is to land flat on your back.
Probably very unlikely to work, but with nothing left to lose id give it a go and pray someone came to dig me out. Why people jump off 100 metre cliffs on purpose is beyond me, that takes a real adrenaline junkie.
Say to myself 'Ah, fuck', call my Mom and tell her I love her, then just enjoy the feeling of plumetting like a bullet to the Earths surface. Oh and land in a playground, just to fuck with the kids.
I'd love to know how or what position. The only way I can think to survive on solid ground is to land on a steep slope and do a roll down the hill as soon as your feet make contact, but the chances of that working are likely nil, and you'd need the reaction time of bruce lee.
I would try and do as many spins as possible whilst placing one of my parachutes at my feet so maybe they will break my fall or something
There's a couple of things I would do.
1) Nick the chute of a fellow skydiver, then float to the ground singing "Nobody's gonna steal my chute!"
2) Aim for a church (Especially when they're having mass) and scream, "Guess what? I've been up there and God wasn't there!"
3) Aim to hit an old lady, Zero Punctuation style.
4) Go "SHORYUKEN!" before hitting the ground, because that gives you a few frames of invulnerability.
1) Nick the chute of a fellow skydiver, then float to the ground singing "Nobody's gonna steal my chute!"
2) Aim for a church (Especially when they're having mass) and scream, "Guess what? I've been up there and God wasn't there!"
3) Aim to hit an old lady, Zero Punctuation style.
4) Go "SHORYUKEN!" before hitting the ground, because that gives you a few frames of invulnerability.