If you went skydiving, and neither one of your parachutes worked...

[Roamin11]

Pray for a fortitude save.........

 

[HateDread]

I'd masturbate all the way down.

That much adrenaline pumping through your head, it probably wouldn't be difficult.

and who wants to die all stressed out.. if you're masturbating as you fall, you're going to die relaxed.

You're falling fast, and you're heavier/denser than the semen, so wouldn't it fly up onto you? Or am I way off on my basic physics?

 

[N0b0dy]

Aim for the nearest school and shout "santa isn't real" just before I hit the ground

 

[Altorin]

I'd masturbate all the way down.

That much adrenaline pumping through your head, it probably wouldn't be difficult.

and who wants to die all stressed out.. if you're masturbating as you fall, you're going to die relaxed.

You're falling fast, and you're heavier/denser than the semen, so wouldn't it fly up onto you? Or am I way off on my basic physics?

It would turn into an icicle of death falling at terminal velocity.. It could kill someone and noone would ever believe it - killed by a falling spear of frozen man chowder.

 

[Adlerboy]

Put on my viking helmet, pull out my giant hammer, roll over so I was facing the clouds and shout "SCREW YOU ODIN!"

 

[Lukeje]

Aim for the nearest body of water?

Good luck - the surface tension will ensure that the impact is much like hitting concrete. Ouch.

That's why you should always bring a crate of surfactant with you when you jump.

 

[Booze Zombie]

I'd probably yell as much as I could.

"You motherfucking cunts fucking checked these parachutes before I jumped?!
Fuck you, you motherfuckers! I will personally open up a hole from the afterlife and eat your fucking faces, you fucking ASSHOLES! I WILL EAT YOUR FUCKING SOULS! I will punch you in the fucking cock, skull fuck you, piss on you, burn you to ashes, piss on the ashes and then burn those ashes some FUCKING more!"

 

[JC175]

whack it one last time.

That is the funniest thing I've read all day.

Personally, I'd probably call someone, and sing them a song. Then I'd hit the ground, be taken in by a Chinese gang, have my heart taken and replaced with a mechanical version, wake up, and then rage around to find my heart while constantly having to electrocute myself to keep going.

 

[Booze Zombie]

That is the funniest thing I've read all day.

Personally, I'd probably call someone, and sing them a song. Then I'd hit the ground, be taken in by a Chinese gang, have my heart taken and replaced with a mechanical version, wake up, and then rage around to find my heart while constantly having to electrocute myself to keep going.

I see what you did there.

 

[Dragon_of_red]

I personally would aim for the nearest cemetery to save people some time.

 

[Sick boy]

I would close my eyes and think of the best thing in the world, probably the first thing that comes into my head.

 

[traceur_]

I'd masturbate all the way down.

That much adrenaline pumping through your head, it probably wouldn't be difficult.

and who wants to die all stressed out.. if you're masturbating as you fall, you're going to die relaxed.

You're falling fast, and you're heavier/denser than the semen, so wouldn't it fly up onto you? Or am I way off on my basic physics?

It would turn into an icicle of death falling at terminal velocity.. It could kill someone and noone would ever believe it - killed by a falling spear of frozen man chowder.

SPERM SPEAR!!!

Epic darwin award, not just being removed from the gene pool, but being killed by the gene pool!!

 

[csmark001]

Survive of course.

Wouldn't even be the first person to do it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Free-fall#Surviving_falls

 

[Space Spoons]

I guess I'd see how many times I could say "Holy dammit Christmas". Also, I'd probably get naked. If I'm going to die anyway, there ain't no reason to be chafing in unpleasant places due to a useless parachute harness when it happens.

 

[Cabisco]

Chances are I'd try to come up with something witty or funny, then realize no one will ever here it so theirs a good chance I'll plummet into the ground going "Awwwww..."

Though I must admit I do like the general theme of masturbating towards our deaths, the generation of today are a horny bunch.

 

[NotAPie]

I'd pull out my cell phone and tell my girlfriend I'm about to die.
Then I'd wonder how the fuck I ended up sky diving when Im afraid of hights.
:3...wut?

 

[Ben Jamin]

yell out "Nimbus!" and float away on a magic cloud.
Or grab onto a bald-eagle.
Either way self preservation is the top priority.