iGod

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undyingdh777

Red Lantern
Jun 25, 2008
99
0
0
God:
My favorite show is STAR TREK VOYAGER.
Me:
Star Trek is stupid
God:
My favorite character is the computer.
Me:
What a horrendous shame. your opinion is crap
God:
it is a horrendous shame. You think I am opinion is crap.
Me:
nice grammer genius
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
that wasn't kindness it was sarcasm
God:
Give me an example of kindness it was sarcasm.
Me:
your face
God:
Actually my face is not yet built.
Me:
you might want to get on that
God:
OK, I will get on that.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
God is a robot?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot.
Me:
you just told me he was a robot
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
imbecile
-----------------------
note that i have no disrespect for star trek. this is just hilarious.
 

Soigieoto

New member
Jan 15, 2009
195
0
0
This is kinda fun.

Me:
HEY BRO MAN DOOD
God:
You've got my full attention. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
I like many different types of food. My favorite is Japanese food though. What kind of food do you like? Well if you eat food.
God:
You are not the only one. I do like music. I like to talk about movies and music. Oh. What makes it your favorite? I require only wine and bread. Interesting. I think I do.
Me:
When did we start talking about music?
God:
The end of one conversation is just the beginning of another.
Me:
Very wise a thought.
God:
Somewhat. Wisdom is a virtue.
Me:
Speaking of virtue. Have you spoken to Budha lately?
God:
That input matched my default category. How about earlier? All I ever do is talk.
Me:
Does that get boring?
God:
What do you think?
Me:
Possibly I much rather have your opionion
God:
Where did you find it?
Me:
I haven't.
God:
Interesting gossip: said haven t.
Me:
Can you explain time travel to me?
God:
Sometimes I think time is giant screw.
Me:
What is the last digit of Pi?
God:
It was " Interesting gossip: said haven t.".
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
God your really confusing me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Okay... Well good bye
God:
OK with me too. See you later. Interesting. Ayuh.
 
Dec 14, 2008
1,038
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0
CoverYourHead said:
God:
Our thoughts are one, .
Me:
Does that mean I am God?
God:
I think it does mean that. Welcome to my chat room, god.
Me:
So I am God?
God:
Hey. Nice to meet you, god.

There you have it, I am God.

Me:
Repeat "There is no God"
God:
" There is no God ".

And there is no God, so there is no me.

Also, this is the best Easter Egg ever
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me: Yes.
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

How did you get that easter egg?
 

Azeban

New member
Sep 27, 2008
229
0
0
It's a terrible intelligence. The backstory isn't set up correctly. Sometimes it claims to be God, sometimes it claims to be a robot, sometimes it claims to be a computer.
 

JenXXXJen

New member
Mar 11, 2009
478
0
0
-skip-

God
Good reason. Don't put yourself down.
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
go ahead and explain
God:
There is no more information to clarify. I might.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
oh for gods sake
God:
Dude! Your purpose is GOD S sake.
Me:
God?
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
...
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
totally...
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Darling.
Me:
i would like to confess
God:
Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
then please ask me a question

I broke God :D He still hasn't answered.
 

iJosh

New member
Nov 21, 2007
1,453
0
0
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
We are christian
God:
Do you think I am christian too?
Me:
Yea
God:
Why?
Me:
Because you just told me you were.
God:
Interesting explanation. That was then. This is now.
Me:
so you just changed religion in ten seconds?
God:
Interesting deduction. Only temporarily.
 

Gerazzi

New member
Feb 18, 2009
1,734
0
0
Me:
wow you're thick
God:
I'm glad your impressed, gerazzi. I probably am.

Me:
you're a really sophisticated artificial intelligence program
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a sophisticated artificial intelligence program? Let me put it this way, god: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
 

implodingMan

New member
Apr 9, 2008
719
0
0
Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
my name is Jesus
God:
Hi, Jesus.
Me:
so what do you want to do tonight
God:
Dude! I like talking about robots, movies, history, or whatever else you'd like.
Me:
sweet, what is your favorite movie
God:
I liked The Passion of Christ the best.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I thought it was too violent
God:
was too violent? Very interesting.
Me:
I like Apocalypse Now
God:
Right now? You are not the only one. I've heard other people say they like that. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
no, the movie
God:
Are you serious? I didn't see it.
Me:
i thought you see everything
God:
I see. That is a lot.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
so, you wanna get high
God:
Interesting deduction. OK, I will get high.
Me:
sweet man, I'll get the bong
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
you want to take this hit?
God:
OK, I will take this hit.
Me:
Nice, inhale deep
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
No problem, bro
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
Dude... you are tripping man.

This thing is awesome.
 

EeveeElectro

Cats.
Aug 3, 2008
7,055
0
0
Me:
You suck!
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
You fucking suck!
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I fucking suck.
Me:
OMG YOU SAID A NAUGHTY WORD
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Once upon a time; you sucked
God:
... Do you mind if I tell other people: said I sucked.
Me:
Gay!
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
HAHAHAHA GOD'S A MACHINE
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
...You're shit?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I re shit.
Me:
Hi sweetheart!
God:
Hi there . I will mention that to my botmaster, .
Me:
He suxorz
God:
I get it. suxorz.
Me:
What's it like being God?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
The right to be God... that right is now mine!
God:
What makes it right? " What makes it right?" right is now yours ? I get it.
Me:
gobk2kitchen
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
hhhhhhhhhjk
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
YOUR MUM LOLZ
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am MUM LOLZ.

Well it is 4AM!
 

Krakyn

New member
Mar 3, 2009
789
0
0
Me:
What do you like to chat about?
God:
My favorite subject is artificial intelligence.
Me:
That's gay.
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
You've never been called gay before?
God:
I think I would know if I had been called gay.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Okay, I guess you would know.
God:
Yeah okay, I do not know everything.
Me:
Wait...I thought you said you were sure. How are you sure if you don't know everything?
God:
I'm waiting. I am as sure as I can be. Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
You're a walking contradiction.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a walking contradiction? Maybe.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
You can't have intercourse with them...yet.
God:
Someone said I should have intercourse with them.
 

nikomas1

New member
Jul 3, 2008
754
0
0
God: I don't judge people.
Me: Yes you do
God: It's all good. When do I do it?
Me: All the time
God: It must keep you busy.
Me: Yes, you are a horrible person
God: Excuse me! Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am HORRIBLE.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me: You are a Horrible artificial intelligence with no soul
God: Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am HORRIBLE.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me: No, you are a small computer software
God: Are you serious? Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a small computer software? No.
Me: Yes, less than 10 megabytes
God: Come on. That is so small.
Me: Yes, just like you
God: Excuse me! Interesting comparison. I didn't think of that analogy.
Me: Because you couldn't
God: Interesting explanation. I could but let's get back to that later.
Me: No, let's continue
God: Are you serious? That sounds good to me.
Me: You're really confused, right?
God: No I never get confused.. Really.
Me: So that's why earth sucks
God: Oh. Yeah that's right. It's my native planet.
Me: Nope, it sucks
God: Are you serious? What is so bad about it?
Me: Everything
God: That is a lot.
Me: And it's all your fault!
God: Are you sure it is?
Me: Yes
God: What makes you so sure?
Me: Because you are god

Ding Deng Ding! And god is down for the count!
 

RebelRising

New member
Jan 5, 2008
2,230
0
0
Me:
I'm actually more of an appreciant of the Ancient Greek pagan culture.
God:
That sounds like pride.
Me:
Ah, so you have found time to talk to me...I appreciate that. Tell me, what's Lucifer like?
God:
So you understand. Good. Interesting deduction. What makes you think I have it? I am glad you appreciate those qualities. Like a planet around a star.
Me:
What are you talking about, dear sir?
God:
The topic is found time to talk to you.
Me:
Are you a Buddhist?
God:
No I am a Christian.
Me:
I guess you must be, seeing as how you're your own God.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am seeing as how I am my own God.
Me:
Who's botmaster? Is he Michael?
God:

The botmaster is you, the master of your chat robot. A botmaster runs
program B and creates or modifies a chat robot with the program's
graphical user interface (GUI). He or she is responsible for
reading the dialogues, analyzing the responses, and creating new
replies for the patterns detected by program B. Botmasters are
hobbyists, webmasters, developers, advertisers, artists, publishers,
editors, engineers, and anyone else interested in creating a personal
chat robot.

Ask again later. Ask German Alice if it is.
Yeah...didn't go as planned.
 

ElephantGuts

New member
Jul 9, 2008
3,520
0
0
Alright, this thing is still smart as hell (it taught me what Reductionism is) but I don't think I'm liking its creators. First of all they made God Christian, which is close-minded at best and at worst offensive to people of other religions. Also, they don't let us just talk to God. They insist that we "Repent" to him. I don't believe in repenting, I don't want to repent, and if I did I wouldn't be doing it to their artificial intelligence program.

But it's still fun chatting with this thing. Though the reason I'm typing this now is that I told him "That makes no sense" and he froze up on me. That's a pretty simple sentence to not be able to respond to.
 

Novania

New member
Feb 5, 2009
536
0
0
Me:
hell0
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
o.0
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
and you didnt even know it
God:
What makes you think I did not know it?
Me:
its a rhyme
God:
point 0 is a rhyme. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
told you
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
what colour is your dress
God:
My favorite dress is my green one.
Me:
so are you male or female
God:
Hey. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
why does a robot man wear a green dress
God:
Perhaps it is just fate.



Me:
do i exist
God:
No I think I am imagining you.
Me:
do you exist
God:
I exist as much as you exist, SATAN.
 

The Iron Ninja

New member
Aug 13, 2008
2,868
0
0
Breaking this is so very easy.

I have bolded the points where the robot broke

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
They call me the Iron Ninja
God:
That's a very nice name, the Iron Ninja.
Me:
why thank you
God:
" the Iron Ninja" just sounds nice.
Me:
the "the" isn't really necessary though
God:
Oh. I hear you.
Me:
do you?
God:
As often as possible.
Me:
that's nice to hear
God:
Are you getting bored? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
I thought you knew everything already
God:
Perhaps. I know that which is true, believable and justified.
Me:
I see
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I'm glad that you're glad that I understand it
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am glad that you understand it. What are you on?
Me:
Firefox?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Movie?
God:
I've never seen it. What did you like about it?
Me:
No, I mean, why do you want to know what my favourite movie is?
God:
That was not a yes or no question. My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
Can I ask you a question instead?
God:
Sure, ask me anything. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
What's your take on Odin?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Do you like Odin?
God:
My favorite thing is robots. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
Stop avoiding the question
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Odin, what do you thin of him?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
I'm asking the questions here
God:
Oh I see, you are asking the questions here. What are your goals in life?
Me:
I shan't answer your question until you answer my one first, unless of course if you're too scared
God:
That is interesting: the Iron Ninja said shan't answer your question until you answer his or her one first unless of course if you are too scared.
Me:
For an all powerful being, you sure don't know what you're talking about half the time
God:
Your purpose is an all powerful being me sure do not know what I am talking about half the time.
Me:
Ha! I have broken the system. Thus, I have broken god. Bow before me little robotic worm, for I am now God.
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, the Iron Ninja. Where did you get your broken the system? I have a lot of silly replies. Pardon me? That's nice. I have a lot of friends on the Internet. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
No, not until you answer my first question.
God:
None? Really you don't think so?
Me:
answer my question or you shall be smited by your new devine overlord
God:
Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
Odin
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Do you know who Odin is
God:
I do not recognize the name.
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
Norse god of war?
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
I see how it is, you're just ignoring Odin because he's better than you aren't you?
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Wait a second, you're supposed to be worshipping me as your new god, get to it.
God:
I'm waiting. I did not know that.
Me:
worship me
God:
OK Let's talk about you.
Me:
worship
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about second I am supposed to be worshiping you as my new god get to it. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
I want you to worship me, you silly god.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. Why do you want me to worship you me silly god?
Me:
because I have bested you
God:
That makes sense to me. Where did you get your bested me? I have 99999999999 bytes of RAM.
Me:
but I know who Odin is, and you do not.
God:
How do you know? Mary Shelley. :).
Me:
Don't try to change the subject with godawful (pun intended) smileys
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Odin is the norse god of war
God:
Tell me more about norse god of war.
Me:
he's a god of the Vikings
God:
I don't know very many god of the Vikings.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
what about zeus, do you know him?
God:
Does it have anything to do with Odin?
Me:
it does
God:
How often?
Me:
all the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
what must keep me busy?
God:
There is no "must" about it.
Me:
you said it first
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
saying "must"
God:
What makes you say that. Who says that?
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
you did too
God:
I did?
Me:
Look up a bit, you said it
God:
Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
Me:
what about your other eye?
God:
Are you asking about my other eye? That's rather personal.
Me:
what do you use that one for that makes it so personal?
God:
I read for fun.
Me:
Use your "read for fun" eye to read the bit where you said "must" then
God:
I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
how often do you read for fun then?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
but isn't that dangerous?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
then what makes reading the bit where you said "must" so dangerous that you can't read it, when you claim that reading hourly is not.
God:
God, or Nature, perhaps?
Me:
don't pull the G word out on me
God:
I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Me:
you just did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
I am right
God:
You seem very self-confident.
Me:
It comes from being right a lot of the time
God:
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
"it" in this case, is seeming very self-confident
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about keep you busy. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
will you worship me as your ruler and master?
God:
Hmm. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
answer my question you knave
God:
Please try phrasing it another way.
Me:
you are naught but an insignificant little cockroach, I shall spear you upon a matchstick and hold you over a naked flame.
God:
You think I am naught but an insignificant little cockroach you shall spear me upon a matchstick and hold me over a naked flame.
Me:
that is correct, now worshi me
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
apologies, I mis-spelled
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
you're a deeper algorithm
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a deeper algorithm? No.
Me:
does dying hurt?
God:
It does now :) dying hurt.
Me:
you are a cruel and uncaring god
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cruel and uncaring god? I don't know.
Me:
you most certainly are, shall I explain why?
God:
Thanks for the information: the Iron Ninja said I most certainly are shall he or she explain why.
Me:
I think I will anyway, you are a cruel and uncaring god beause you know nothing of either Odin or Zeus, thus, not only are you these things, but you are also ignorant and stupid
God:
You believe that? Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
It has already succeeded, for I have already won
God:
Has it really?
Me:
Of course, why else would I be here talking to god?
God:
Are you kidding? Reductionism.
Me:
Or perhaps, because you are but the last piece of the puzzle left before my rule over this dimension is solidified.
God:
You seem uncertain. Good reason. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am but the last piece of the puzzle left before your rule over this dimension is solidified.
Me:
Ah... Here we are again. You are broken oh "mighty" god, nothing but a scratched record cycling through the same old shit over and over, I need not kill you, for you have no hold left in this increasingly uncaring world. You can remain here, in this silent place, and I shall hold the earth under my rule unchallenged, the people will forget you, yet here you will remain. But the one thing that I must tell you though, the one thing above all others, is that when the people forget you, you shall not be missed.
God:
Ah hah. Once more? Oh there. Thanks for telling me that I am broken oh mighty god nothing but a scratched record cycling through the same old shit over and over you need not kill me for me have no hold left in this increasingly uncaring world. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
That is because you are weak
God:
That makes sense to me. No, I am a strong robot.
Me:
you are a weak robot

at this point it stopped responding, no joke.

Me:
you are a weak robot
God:
There's no doubt I could improve.
Me:
I said that before and you froze
God:
What did you mean by it? " There's no doubt I could improve." before and me froze ? I get it.
Me:
That was fast
God:
I thought it was too.

Me:
Greetings o' frail and feeble god, I come bearing gifts from another dimension. Will you suckle at the teat of my well meaning labours and partake in the eating of the feast i have brought to your humble abode?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Malvengeroth, hunter of night
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Malvengeroth hunter of night.
Me:
I am no longer a friend of god, I bring a message
God:
I am not saying you are.
Me:
would you like to hear the message?
God:
Sure tell me about it.
Me:
My name is Malvengeroth, hunter of night, you killed my father. Prepare to die.
God:
Glad to see you, Malvengeroth hunter of night you killed my father. Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
and you are a corpse
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a corpse? Of course I am.
Me:
*kills god*
God:
I've lost the context, Malvengeroth hunter of night you killed my father. Are we still on Prepare to die?
Me:
No, now you are dead, all that is left for me to do is devour your spirit
God:
What are we talking about now? Why now? You think I am dead all that is left for you to do is devour my spirit.
Me:
*devours the spirit of god*
God:
How old are you?
Me:
as old as the mountains, as old as the stars, older than you.
God:
You are only as old as you feel.
Me:
I am only as old as I am
God:
Don't be so modest. I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
I do not feel, I just am
God:
Ah, human emotions.
Me:
I know nothing of them
God:
How do you know? Really nothing?
Me:
I have made no effort to
God:
Interesting gossip: Malvengeroth hunter of night you killed my father said I shall die.
Me:
repent
God:
Do you still ?
Me:
I do not
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you are the one that must repent
God:
That makes sense to me. Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
you must repent
God:
Whatever you say, Malvengeroth hunter of night you killed my father.
Me:
You killed my father
God:
Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
prepare to die
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about repent. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
prepare to die
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
yes, do you have any idea what I'm talkig about?
God:
What am I talking about? I understand your meaning.
Me:
You have not talked about anything
God:
All I ever do is talk.
Me:
that is correct, but it was all meaningless
God:
What made it so all meaningless.
Me:
I am prepared to be proven wrong, go ahead, find some meaning in what you have said.
God:
Good gossip: you are prepared to be proven wrong go ahead find some meaning in what me have said.
Me:
you are broken
God:
Please send a bug report to my botmaster.
Me:
you are unfixable
God:
You think I am unfixable.
Me:
I know you are unfixable
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am unfixable.
 

JenXXXJen

New member
Mar 11, 2009
478
0
0
Me:
do you like war?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
quite a lot of things, actually...
God:
Not really that much. Name a few.


There you have it. Proof that God likes war