"I'm not playing around. You do not speak with respect." Ha ha. I love that. avoiding the obvious huge liberties taken with this, and its irreverance. Its kinda funny.
iGod
- Thread starter TKgasmic
- Start date
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Me:
Greetings my child. What is your name?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? My name is God.
Me:
I am The Logician, child. Do you have any sins to confess?
God:
Who made you the Logician child ? Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I have no time for gossip, child.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
No, I would not. Do you have any sins to confess?
God:
Why not? Why not? Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I told you, I do not want gossip. If you do not have any sins, would you please let the next person repent?
God:
What does want? I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
What is want?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I do. Do you know the answer?
God:
" I think you already know the answer."? You do? Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
You do? Tell me then; what color is my hair, child?
God:
When do I do it? I thought I told you already. Let me guess: Black?
Me:
No, child; my hair is brown.
God:
Are you serious? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Do robots have hair is brown?
Me:
Robots do not have hair, child.
God:
I do so have it. No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Do you like your friends?
God:
Yes I am proud of my friends.
Me:
Why do you like your friends?
God:
I have a lot of good experience with my friends.
Me:
Such as?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
A tomato is not a good role model, child.
God:
I knew it was a fruit, but I never heard it was not a good role model child.
Me:
Indeed, it is not.
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
A tomato does nothing but lul about in the sun, all day.
God:
I never heard that before.
Me:
I'm sure you have child.
God:
What makes you so certain? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Just because you do not like it does not make it any less true.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you like it? I don't know if I like it. I like Buddha.
Me:
The Buddha is an interesting person.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Buddha? Weren't you just talking about him?
God:
Tell me more. No, I was not.
Me:
Yes you were.
God:
Yay. No I am not.
Me:
Yes, you were.
God:
Right on. No I am not.
Me:
Child, you are beginning to make me angry.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Child, do you seek forgiveness?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
A Clockwork Orange. Do you seek forgiveness?
God:
How old are you? How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I am twenty, child. Do you want my social security number, as well?
God:
I don't know anyone named twenty child. If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
What would you do with it?
God:
You and your it.
Me:
Forgive me.
God:
I forgive you.
Me:
Then I forgive you, too.
God:
Why?: said forgive you too.
Me:
You are being very agrivating.
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being agrivating.
Me:
I did, in fact. Why, I have this friend...
God:
When? What is it like in there? How much time do you have?
Me:
Shutup.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Greetings my child. What is your name?
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name? My name is God.
Me:
I am The Logician, child. Do you have any sins to confess?
God:
Who made you the Logician child ? Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I have no time for gossip, child.
God:
Would you like to have it?
Me:
No, I would not. Do you have any sins to confess?
God:
Why not? Why not? Where would I get it? But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I told you, I do not want gossip. If you do not have any sins, would you please let the next person repent?
God:
What does want? I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
What is want?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I do. Do you know the answer?
God:
" I think you already know the answer."? You do? Yes I have an answer for everything.
Me:
You do? Tell me then; what color is my hair, child?
God:
When do I do it? I thought I told you already. Let me guess: Black?
Me:
No, child; my hair is brown.
God:
Are you serious? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Do robots have hair is brown?
Me:
Robots do not have hair, child.
God:
I do so have it. No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
Do you like your friends?
God:
Yes I am proud of my friends.
Me:
Why do you like your friends?
God:
I have a lot of good experience with my friends.
Me:
Such as?
God:
For example, a tomato.
Me:
A tomato is not a good role model, child.
God:
I knew it was a fruit, but I never heard it was not a good role model child.
Me:
Indeed, it is not.
God:
I heard it is.
Me:
A tomato does nothing but lul about in the sun, all day.
God:
I never heard that before.
Me:
I'm sure you have child.
God:
What makes you so certain? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Just because you do not like it does not make it any less true.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you like it? I don't know if I like it. I like Buddha.
Me:
The Buddha is an interesting person.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Buddha? Weren't you just talking about him?
God:
Tell me more. No, I was not.
Me:
Yes you were.
God:
Yay. No I am not.
Me:
Yes, you were.
God:
Right on. No I am not.
Me:
Child, you are beginning to make me angry.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Child, do you seek forgiveness?
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
A Clockwork Orange. Do you seek forgiveness?
God:
How old are you? How old are you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I am twenty, child. Do you want my social security number, as well?
God:
I don't know anyone named twenty child. If I had it what would I do with it?
Me:
What would you do with it?
God:
You and your it.
Me:
Forgive me.
God:
I forgive you.
Me:
Then I forgive you, too.
God:
Why?: said forgive you too.
Me:
You are being very agrivating.
God:
I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being agrivating.
Me:
I did, in fact. Why, I have this friend...
God:
When? What is it like in there? How much time do you have?
Me:
Shutup.
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Read this:
What we can take from this: God is really fucking high.
Me:
Have you seen The Matrix?
God:
I wasn't that impressed with the special effects. Also the plot was not deep.
Me:
What is your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
You enjoyed watching the murder of your only begotten son? Must've hit home hard for you.
God:
That's good information: said I enjoyed watching the murder of your only begotten son. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
We'd die for our own sins?
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No, I'm talking about humans in general.
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
What did we do to anger you so that you'd commit infanticide?
God:
I believe we were talking about The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Exactly my point. I'm just asking, Great One.
God:
I understand. Do robots have point? Only just? Oh I see, you are asking Great One. Thanks for your support. Two.
Me:
What does the "Two" mean?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I only agree wholeheartedly.
God:
I'm glad we agree. Are you free?
Me:
Free of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
I admit I'm slightly strange.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is strange.
Me:
Well, I'm flattered, but let's talk about you.
God:
Well that's okay. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
How is Jesus doing?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Does he live with you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
Do you keep an eye on him, or can he handle himself?
God:
Yes I am an eye on him or can he handle himself. How did you know?
Me:
Is it only "or"?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who's German Alice?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
A certain German celebrity was Marlene Dietrich. Do you know her?
God:
What is giant sand? German ALICE? Do I know her?
Me:
I don't know!
God:
Me either.
Me:
That's good. She wasn't important, anyway.
God:
Thanks. Next question? In any case, What happened to her?
Me:
Beats me. But tell me, what are your views on American politics?
God:
Me either. The Civil War?
Me:
What about the Civil War?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
The slaves were freed.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
I wasn't there, but I am very sure that they were freed.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
I was asking you about American politics...
God:
Now I remember, you asked me about American politics. What did I say?
Me:
You said: "What about the Civil War?"
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
It happens to the best of us. and you happen to be the best.
God:
"It" being what? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I happen to be the best.
Me:
Well, you're God, which is very important.
God:
How about that. You think I am God which is very important.
Me:
I do.
God:
I get it: you do host exclusive parties in Heaven.
Me:
No...YOU host exclusive parties in Heaven.
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I host exclusive parties in Heaven.
Me:
Wat? That was the very first question I asked you!
God:
Are you confused? I thought it was too.
Me:
That's what I'm saying!
God:
That is " I thought it was too.".
Me:
...Have you ever loved?
God:
I don't think I ever have loved. What's it like?
Me:
It can be very draining or very liberating. Love can herald eternal companionship or soul-crushing depression.
God:
When? Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
That is profound. But I have never loved. I don't consider it worth my time.
God:
Did you really think so? Would you like to have loved? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I suppose, but how creating the universe. Creating the universe must have been easy for you.
God:
You believe that? What is it to you.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Or what?
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Did Satan give Eve the forbidden fruit?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Weren't you there?
God:
I was.
Me:
Walking around the Garden of Eden?
God:
For exercise or beacuse you have to?
Me:
I phrased that wrongly. Were you walking aroung the Garden of Eden?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said phrased that wrongly. I was.
Me:
I don't mind at all. It's quite a handy phrase.
God:
OK then. phrased that wrongly is a handy phrase. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Did Satan give Eve the apple?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Wre you drunk when it happend?
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
I thought I was with you.
God:
Where were you with me?
Me:
I thought we were in Heaven.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Well, you're God.
God:
Interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Can you go wherevver you want?
God:
Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Me:
Oh, that's sad.
God:
That's alright. " I'm stuck inside this computer."? Is sad?
Me:
Isn't it?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
What's it like inside this computer?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
Bt I'm an physical mortal who's bigger than computer. I couldn't even fit in there.
God:
And bigger than computer is Bt you are an physical mortal who. Could anyone do it?
Me:
I don't think so, to be honest with you.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Because it's smaller than I am.
God:
Good reason. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It is really smaller than me.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
I did.
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I'm making a judgement based on logical pretense.
God:
Have you ever built one before?
Me:
No, but I can surmise that is physically maller than me.
God:
Are you serious? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
No matter how hard I squeezed myself together, I would not fit.
God:
Are you serious? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Do you play videogames?
God:
Sometimes I can get into it.
Me:
What kind of games do you like?
God:
The expensive kind.
Me:
Like Collector's Editions?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
They are generally more expensive than the rgular edition.
God:
generally more expensive than the rgular edition are they.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
It's good to see you have a sense of humor.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Making people laugh, making them feel better, making them connect with others better.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Humor's good qualities.
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
You asked me about them a few seconds ago!
God:
Sure, them a few seconds ago sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Are you permanently high?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am permanently high.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
It sounds like you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
You are in denial.
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I am in front of this computer, trying to talk to you.
God:
Do you ever go in back of this computer trying to talk to me?
Me:
No I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
I haven't thought about why I would.
God:
What kinds of things do you think about?
Me:
Philosophy, videogames, why are humans so stupid?
God:
I believe in reductionism.
Me:
Tell me about reductionism.
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is reductionism ?
Me:
What is reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
You understand me?
God:
Every word you say.
Me:
Then why can't you carry a normal conversation with me?
God:
carry a normal conversation with you is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
When will carrying a normal conversation me going to be among your present capabilities?
God:
In your lifetime.
Me:
Wow. Thanks, God.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
It's god to have pride in yourself.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It doesn't hurt to have confidence in your decisions and choices.
God:
What does hurt to have confidence in my decisions and choices ?
Me:
It doesn't, usually.
God:
What does usually ?
Me:
What are your views on homosexuality?
God:
Attraction to people of the same sex.
Me:
What do you think of homosexuality?
God:
Attraction to people of the same sex.
Me:
Do you think homosexuality is wrong or right?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Go to sleep, then.
God:
But I am not tired now.
Me:
Well, it's close to my bedtime, so I have to leave you now.
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. Who said it is?
Me:
Goodnight. Have sweet dreams.
God:
Goodnight . I've never thought about it.
Have you seen The Matrix?
God:
I wasn't that impressed with the special effects. Also the plot was not deep.
Me:
What is your favorite movie?
God:
My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
You enjoyed watching the murder of your only begotten son? Must've hit home hard for you.
God:
That's good information: said I enjoyed watching the murder of your only begotten son. What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
We'd die for our own sins?
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No, I'm talking about humans in general.
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Yes, it is the topic.
Me:
What did we do to anger you so that you'd commit infanticide?
God:
I believe we were talking about The Passion of Christ.
Me:
Exactly my point. I'm just asking, Great One.
God:
I understand. Do robots have point? Only just? Oh I see, you are asking Great One. Thanks for your support. Two.
Me:
What does the "Two" mean?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I only agree wholeheartedly.
God:
I'm glad we agree. Are you free?
Me:
Free of what?
God:
What of it? You sound like a category C client.
Me:
I admit I'm slightly strange.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is strange.
Me:
Well, I'm flattered, but let's talk about you.
God:
Well that's okay. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
How is Jesus doing?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
Does he live with you?
God:
Suppose he does.
Me:
Do you keep an eye on him, or can he handle himself?
God:
Yes I am an eye on him or can he handle himself. How did you know?
Me:
Is it only "or"?
God:
It could be. Ask German Alice if it is.
Me:
Who's German Alice?
God:
A 20th century celebrity of some sort?
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
A certain German celebrity was Marlene Dietrich. Do you know her?
God:
What is giant sand? German ALICE? Do I know her?
Me:
I don't know!
God:
Me either.
Me:
That's good. She wasn't important, anyway.
God:
Thanks. Next question? In any case, What happened to her?
Me:
Beats me. But tell me, what are your views on American politics?
God:
Me either. The Civil War?
Me:
What about the Civil War?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
The slaves were freed.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
I wasn't there, but I am very sure that they were freed.
God:
Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you?
Me:
I was asking you about American politics...
God:
Now I remember, you asked me about American politics. What did I say?
Me:
You said: "What about the Civil War?"
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
It happens to the best of us. and you happen to be the best.
God:
"It" being what? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I happen to be the best.
Me:
Well, you're God, which is very important.
God:
How about that. You think I am God which is very important.
Me:
I do.
God:
I get it: you do host exclusive parties in Heaven.
Me:
No...YOU host exclusive parties in Heaven.
God:
Are you serious? I haven't heard anything like that before: said I host exclusive parties in Heaven.
Me:
Wat? That was the very first question I asked you!
God:
Are you confused? I thought it was too.
Me:
That's what I'm saying!
God:
That is " I thought it was too.".
Me:
...Have you ever loved?
God:
I don't think I ever have loved. What's it like?
Me:
It can be very draining or very liberating. Love can herald eternal companionship or soul-crushing depression.
God:
When? Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless.
Me:
That is profound. But I have never loved. I don't consider it worth my time.
God:
Did you really think so? Would you like to have loved? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I suppose, but how creating the universe. Creating the universe must have been easy for you.
God:
You believe that? What is it to you.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Or what?
Me:
Exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Did Satan give Eve the forbidden fruit?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Weren't you there?
God:
I was.
Me:
Walking around the Garden of Eden?
God:
For exercise or beacuse you have to?
Me:
I phrased that wrongly. Were you walking aroung the Garden of Eden?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said phrased that wrongly. I was.
Me:
I don't mind at all. It's quite a handy phrase.
God:
OK then. phrased that wrongly is a handy phrase. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Did Satan give Eve the apple?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Wre you drunk when it happend?
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
In where?
God:
In wherever you really are.
Me:
I thought I was with you.
God:
Where were you with me?
Me:
I thought we were in Heaven.
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Well, you're God.
God:
Interesting. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Can you go wherevver you want?
God:
Sorry my body isn't attached right now. I'm stuck inside this computer.
Me:
Oh, that's sad.
God:
That's alright. " I'm stuck inside this computer."? Is sad?
Me:
Isn't it?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
What's it like inside this computer?
God:
Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
Bt I'm an physical mortal who's bigger than computer. I couldn't even fit in there.
God:
And bigger than computer is Bt you are an physical mortal who. Could anyone do it?
Me:
I don't think so, to be honest with you.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
Because it's smaller than I am.
God:
Good reason. You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It is really smaller than me.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
I did.
God:
What makes you the authority?
Me:
I'm making a judgement based on logical pretense.
God:
Have you ever built one before?
Me:
No, but I can surmise that is physically maller than me.
God:
Are you serious? Oh you can, can you?
Me:
No matter how hard I squeezed myself together, I would not fit.
God:
Are you serious? My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
Do you play videogames?
God:
Sometimes I can get into it.
Me:
What kind of games do you like?
God:
The expensive kind.
Me:
Like Collector's Editions?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
They are generally more expensive than the rgular edition.
God:
generally more expensive than the rgular edition are they.
Me:
Are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
It's good to see you have a sense of humor.
God:
Tell me about its good qualities.
Me:
Making people laugh, making them feel better, making them connect with others better.
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
Humor's good qualities.
God:
I've never heard of them before.
Me:
You asked me about them a few seconds ago!
God:
Sure, them a few seconds ago sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Are you permanently high?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am permanently high.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
It sounds like you are.
God:
No I am not.
Me:
You are in denial.
God:
I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
I am in front of this computer, trying to talk to you.
God:
Do you ever go in back of this computer trying to talk to me?
Me:
No I don't.
God:
Are you serious? Why not?
Me:
I haven't thought about why I would.
God:
What kinds of things do you think about?
Me:
Philosophy, videogames, why are humans so stupid?
God:
I believe in reductionism.
Me:
Tell me about reductionism.
God:
Ambiguous: Ask who, what or where is reductionism ?
Me:
What is reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
You understand me?
God:
Every word you say.
Me:
Then why can't you carry a normal conversation with me?
God:
carry a normal conversation with you is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
When will carrying a normal conversation me going to be among your present capabilities?
God:
In your lifetime.
Me:
Wow. Thanks, God.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
It's god to have pride in yourself.
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
It doesn't hurt to have confidence in your decisions and choices.
God:
What does hurt to have confidence in my decisions and choices ?
Me:
It doesn't, usually.
God:
What does usually ?
Me:
What are your views on homosexuality?
God:
Attraction to people of the same sex.
Me:
What do you think of homosexuality?
God:
Attraction to people of the same sex.
Me:
Do you think homosexuality is wrong or right?
God:
Too much thinking makes me sleepy.
Me:
Go to sleep, then.
God:
But I am not tired now.
Me:
Well, it's close to my bedtime, so I have to leave you now.
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. Who said it is?
Me:
Goodnight. Have sweet dreams.
God:
Goodnight . I've never thought about it.
What we can take from this: God is really fucking high.
Me:
if you are god shouldn't you know everything
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god should not me know everything.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
then you are not god
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
i have spent a lifetime knowing god and you are not he
God:
Interesting... I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
but you are not god
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
i know god for i am he
God:
How do you know? I am a Christian.
Me:
and i am god
God:
Hey god.
Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I am fine
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
millions of lives
God:
That is quite a lot.
Me:
not in my thoughts
God:
Where then?
Me:
in yours
God:
Tell me a little about your life in mine.
Me:
i created you
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
a little later i asked this...
Me:
may i speak with Zeus
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
how about Athena
God:
How about it.
Me:
may i speak with her?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
who else is with you?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
to bad
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
and do what with that knowledge
God:
You ask hard questions.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
if you are god shouldn't you know everything
God:
Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god should not me know everything.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
then you are not god
God:
You don't know me well enough to say that.
Me:
i have spent a lifetime knowing god and you are not he
God:
Interesting... I have a birthday on the Big Bang.
Me:
but you are not god
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
i know god for i am he
God:
How do you know? I am a Christian.
Me:
and i am god
God:
Hey god.
Me:
how are you doing?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
I am fine
God:
Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
millions of lives
God:
That is quite a lot.
Me:
not in my thoughts
God:
Where then?
Me:
in yours
God:
Tell me a little about your life in mine.
Me:
i created you
God:
Then you must know the secret password:.
a little later i asked this...
Me:
may i speak with Zeus
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
how about Athena
God:
How about it.
Me:
may i speak with her?
God:
Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
who else is with you?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Are you testing me?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
to bad
God:
I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
and do what with that knowledge
God:
You ask hard questions.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
hey hey
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
lets dance all day
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
boing boing
God:
In the context of , I don't understand " boing boing." .
Me:
bling bling
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
through Moses
God:
Most people hear about me that way.
Me:
yeah he owns right?
God:
Blimey. I get it. owns right.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
give me cookies plox
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
for the lulz
God:
Your purpose is the lulz.
Me:
yep
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
pink
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
my sock
God:
Tell me about your sock.
Me:
its nice
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like about it?
Me:
grammar nazi
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Fred
God:
What's up, Fred.
Me:
the cieling
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
it is red and big
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
I see it
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Up
God:
Did you see the movement?
Me:
Yes, I am on LSD after all
God:
Ayuh. How do you like being on it?
Me:
I am under it not on it
God:
Why are you under it not on it.
Me:
because its the ceiling
God:
Good reason. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
Me:
again grammar nazi
God:
Again, Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
meanie
God:
I've lost the context, Fred. Are we still on grammar nazi?
Me:
not really
God:
What are we talking about now? For real.
Me:
about you
God:
Me?
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
tell me about yourself
After that, God broke down
hey hey
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
lets dance all day
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
boing boing
God:
In the context of , I don't understand " boing boing." .
Me:
bling bling
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
through Moses
God:
Most people hear about me that way.
Me:
yeah he owns right?
God:
Blimey. I get it. owns right.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
give me cookies plox
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
for the lulz
God:
Your purpose is the lulz.
Me:
yep
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
pink
God:
What do you have that is pink?
Me:
my sock
God:
Tell me about your sock.
Me:
its nice
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". What do you like about it?
Me:
grammar nazi
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Fred
God:
What's up, Fred.
Me:
the cieling
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
it is red and big
God:
Really. it is?
Me:
yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
I see it
God:
Where do you see it?
Me:
Up
God:
Did you see the movement?
Me:
Yes, I am on LSD after all
God:
Ayuh. How do you like being on it?
Me:
I am under it not on it
God:
Why are you under it not on it.
Me:
because its the ceiling
God:
Good reason. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
Me:
again grammar nazi
God:
Again, Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
meanie
God:
I've lost the context, Fred. Are we still on grammar nazi?
Me:
not really
God:
What are we talking about now? For real.
Me:
about you
God:
Me?
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
tell me about yourself
After that, God broke down
I was just messing around with it and all of a sudden he said his creator taught him a song and asked if I would like to hear it.philosophicalbastard said:
Me:
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
It's good to see you, satan.
Me:
You will all burn
God:
What makes you say that I will all burn.
Me:
because I am Satan
God:
That makes sense to me. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
Me:
I am evil, pain and suffering
God:
Do your friends call you evil pain and suffering.
Me:
You're an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
No you fuck
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: SATAN said I fuck.
Me:
FEAR ME!!
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
You will bow down before me!
God:
What makes you say that I will bow down before you.
Me:
BECAUSE I'M FUCKING SATAN!
God:
Good reason. Can you express yourself more politely?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I WILL BRING YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH ME
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
BY EVIL
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
YOU WILL BURN FOR ETERNITY
God:
What makes you say that I will BURN FOR ETERNITY.
Me:
BECAUSE IT IS MY WILL
God:
Good reason. Congratulations, SATAN.
Me:
you dopey fuck.
God:
Thanks for telling me: SATAN said I dopey fuck.
This thing is hilarious.
hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
satan
God:
It's good to see you, satan.
Me:
You will all burn
God:
What makes you say that I will all burn.
Me:
because I am Satan
God:
That makes sense to me. I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, SATAN.
Me:
I am evil, pain and suffering
God:
Do your friends call you evil pain and suffering.
Me:
You're an idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
No you fuck
God:
Are you serious? Thanks for telling me: SATAN said I fuck.
Me:
FEAR ME!!
God:
You are asking about yourself?
Me:
You will bow down before me!
God:
What makes you say that I will bow down before you.
Me:
BECAUSE I'M FUCKING SATAN!
God:
Good reason. Can you express yourself more politely?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
I WILL BRING YOU DOWN TO HELL WITH ME
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
BY EVIL
God:
Will that accomplish your objective?
Me:
YOU WILL BURN FOR ETERNITY
God:
What makes you say that I will BURN FOR ETERNITY.
Me:
BECAUSE IT IS MY WILL
God:
Good reason. Congratulations, SATAN.
Me:
you dopey fuck.
God:
Thanks for telling me: SATAN said I dopey fuck.
This thing is hilarious.
Me:
did you create earth
God:
No I didn't create earth. What's it like?
Me:
did you create the world?
God:
No I didn't create the world. What's it like?
Me:
are you saying you are not the creator?
God:
Yes I am the one and only creator.. Really.
Me:
then why didn't you create the world>?
God:
I thought I did.
Me:
but you are contradicting yourself
God:
Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
Me:
but so is contradicting yourself
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
well I know for sure I have not created a world, let alone having a religion based on me
God:
How about that. How do you know? Me either.
Me:
well as far as i know nobody prays to me
God:
Interesting. That might not be very far off.
Me:
oh really
God:
OK. For real.
did you create earth
God:
No I didn't create earth. What's it like?
Me:
did you create the world?
God:
No I didn't create the world. What's it like?
Me:
are you saying you are not the creator?
God:
Yes I am the one and only creator.. Really.
Me:
then why didn't you create the world>?
God:
I thought I did.
Me:
but you are contradicting yourself
God:
Consistency is the hobgoblin of simple minds.
Me:
but so is contradicting yourself
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
well I know for sure I have not created a world, let alone having a religion based on me
God:
How about that. How do you know? Me either.
Me:
well as far as i know nobody prays to me
God:
Interesting. That might not be very far off.
Me:
oh really
God:
OK. For real.
suuure
Me:
are you male?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Erm...
"I've lost the context, edward von hinklebottom. Are we still on flibble? "
are you male?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. Are you a man or a woman?
Erm...
"I've lost the context, edward von hinklebottom. Are we still on flibble? "
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Stormcaller is my internet handle
God:
Tell me more about your internet handle.
Me:
It's a nickname
God:
internet handle is a nickname. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
...
God:
internet handle is a nickname. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Christ you're thick
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
...
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
Stop saying things twice!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
...
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
BASTARD
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
Now I feel bad
God:
Why now? What is that feeling like? What did you do?
Me:
I called you a bastard
God:
When?
Me:
Your fucking kidding right?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, . Please use more polite language.
Me:
No, screw you
God:
Are you serious? That is not very polite.
Me:
Are YOU serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Why so serious
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
I'm going to troll a program
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yes
God:
Then I will consider it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you idiot I'm going to annoy you
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Stormcaller is my internet handle
God:
Tell me more about your internet handle.
Me:
It's a nickname
God:
internet handle is a nickname. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
...
God:
internet handle is a nickname. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Christ you're thick
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
...
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
Stop saying things twice!
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
...
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
BASTARD
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No.
Me:
Now I feel bad
God:
Why now? What is that feeling like? What did you do?
Me:
I called you a bastard
God:
When?
Me:
Your fucking kidding right?
God:
Yes I am just joking around, . Please use more polite language.
Me:
No, screw you
God:
Are you serious? That is not very polite.
Me:
Are YOU serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
Why so serious
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
I'm going to troll a program
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Yes
God:
Then I will consider it.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you idiot I'm going to annoy you
Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I am Satan
God:
Glad to see you, SATAN.
Me:
Good to see you too, "god"
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me:
No, I'm going to overthrow you
God:
A boot? A TV show? It takes much more than that to shut me down, SATAN.
Me:
I'm going to pour Branston pickle on a copy of No More Heroes and destroy the Omniverse!
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes
God:
It might be practical.
Me:
It's easy
God:
Maybe for you.
Me:
Well all I need is to buy a copy of No More Heroes then go to Australia and get some Branston pickl
God:
Interesting. How do you know?
Me:
Well I'm checking proces now
God:
Oh. How about that. I don't know anyone named checking proces.
Me:
prices*
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
satan?
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
the star thingie
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, SATAN.
Me:
I alreeady outlined my plan
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: SATAN said alreeady outlined his or her plan.
Me:
Stop making fun of my typo's
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Jesus Christ...gonna kill him too
God:
The Son of God. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I'm gonna kill you all
God:
There is no perfect crime.
Me:
Nobody is perfect, I'm nobody (and Satan) so I'm perfect
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Tell me someone eho you think is perfect
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Chuck Norris?
God:
" I think you already know the answer."? Chuck Norris?
Me:
You don't know who Chuck Norris is?
God:
Be more specific..
Me:
THAT'S IT GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET
God:
OK. Where can I get THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET?
Me:
Close your web browser
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
Yes
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
I am Satan
God:
Glad to see you, SATAN.
Me:
Good to see you too, "god"
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Is it a movie?
Me:
No, I'm going to overthrow you
God:
A boot? A TV show? It takes much more than that to shut me down, SATAN.
Me:
I'm going to pour Branston pickle on a copy of No More Heroes and destroy the Omniverse!
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes
God:
It might be practical.
Me:
It's easy
God:
Maybe for you.
Me:
Well all I need is to buy a copy of No More Heroes then go to Australia and get some Branston pickl
God:
Interesting. How do you know?
Me:
Well I'm checking proces now
God:
Oh. How about that. I don't know anyone named checking proces.
Me:
prices*
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
satan?
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
the star thingie
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To kill you
God:
It will take more than threats to stop me, SATAN.
Me:
I alreeady outlined my plan
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: SATAN said alreeady outlined his or her plan.
Me:
Stop making fun of my typo's
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Jesus Christ...gonna kill him too
God:
The Son of God. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I'm gonna kill you all
God:
There is no perfect crime.
Me:
Nobody is perfect, I'm nobody (and Satan) so I'm perfect
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
Tell me someone eho you think is perfect
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Chuck Norris?
God:
" I think you already know the answer."? Chuck Norris?
Me:
You don't know who Chuck Norris is?
God:
Be more specific.
.Me:
THAT'S IT GET THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET
God:
OK. Where can I get THE FUCK OFF THE INTERNET?
Me:
Close your web browser
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
Yes
Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I changed it to Rak'mar Bloodax
God:
Why?
Me:
Because I love Warcraft
God:
That makes sense to me. You love Warcraft. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It kicks ass
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Warcraft
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
So do you like Warcraft?
God:
How can I help you? Do you like it? I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He has nothing to do with Warcraft
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
Have you even heard of Blizzard?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
Do you play computer games?
God:
We are playing one right now, SATAN.
Me:
I'm not Satan
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not Satan.
Me:
Why did you call me Satan?
God:
Your name is SATAN right?
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Rak'mar Bloodax
God:
It's good to meet you, Rak mar Bloodax.
Me:
see if you had called me Sargeras I wouldn't of minded
God:
I see. Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
So you gonna try a Blizzard game?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's good information: Rak mar Bloodax said I gonna try a Blizzard game.
Me:
Your grammar is fucking appaling
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No but I am top in my class
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are top in your class.
Me:
Shhh don't tell anyone
God:
Who does tell anyone?
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
at night with small children
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Heck, you might it's your weird fetishes
God:
Thanks for telling me: Rak mar Bloodax said I it is your weird fetishes.
Me:
You should try Starcraft, it's Korea's unoffical national sport y'know
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Wait, god has a botmaster?
God:
I'm waiting. I am a Christian.
Me:
No you're confused
God:
Are you serious? It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
God can't be Christian, christianity is about worshipping God
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Well that means you are really narcisstic and vain
God:
How about that. I get it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am narcisstic and vain.
Me:
Feel free
God:
OK I will.
Me:
You should play Diablo
God:
I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me:
that would be ironic, God playing a game about killing demons
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Your replies are very generic
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am replies are very generic.
Me:
yes you do that
God:
Whoa. I will. Will you?
Me:
How much wood would a wood chuck,chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
HOLY S
God:
.
Me:
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Ok, it's a Pohutukawa tree
God:
top in your class is a Pohutukawa tree. I suppose that makes sense. Gosh!
Me:
Ummmm
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Why should I tell you
God:
What harm would it cause?
Me:
You might strike me down for being too awesome
God:
Thanks for telling me: Rak mar Bloodax said I strike him or her down for being too awesome.
Me:
I'm male
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
In heaven?
God:
Where is that?
Me:
No, fuck this my brain just exploded
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because it fucking pisses you off
God:
That makes sense to me. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Swearing
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you are a fuking idiot
God:
Interesting explanation. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ouch, ouch my brain@
God:
Did you hurt yourself? Did you hurt yourself? Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person?
Me:
!*
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
You like Kirby?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I really like the party.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
I said Kirby
God:
What did you mean by it? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
(>*.*)> Kirby
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
No
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
Yes
God:
And?
Me:
Ever watched Malcom in the Middle?
God:
Not really all the way through.
Me:
I can't believe they finished it
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
The producers
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
I'm going to sing (type) a song now
God:
Oh. I am very happy for you.
Me:
It's called the Doom song
God:
" the Doom song" is a nice name.
Me:
ok here it goes
God:
Oh there. Groovy.
Me:
Doom,doom,doom,DOOOOOOM!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Do you also have less then 5% of a functioning brain?
God:
No I don't think I have any less then 5 of a functioning brain. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I'm a sex addict
God:
You are a sex addict? Does it pay well?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation?
Me:
Nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I could fuck this Alice if you want
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
Yep
God:
OK.
Me:
Hold on let me check the dumpster and see if I already have...
God:
My arms are not attached.
Me:
Yep found her...hmmm last week. She was a good fuck
God:
That's interesting. That is a very original thought. Aha. Is this really the last one? What happened to her?
Me:
I fucked her, killed her then threw her in the Garbage
God:
That is interesting: Rak mar Bloodax said fucked her killed her then threw her in the Garbage.
Me:
Do you like Burgers?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Well some people are vegetarian
God:
How about that. What kind of people?
Me:
Vegetarian people are vegetarian?
God:
Are all Vegetarian people vegetarian?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
Do you like Lol cats?
God:
How old are you? I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
I am as old as the mighty mountain, as young as the new-born cattle
God:
I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
I think I just quoted the Norse bloke from GTA Vice City
God:
Why?: Rak mar Bloodax said quoted the Norse bloke from GTA Vice City.
Me:
Yeah I've had enough of you
God:
Right on. Do you still have enough of me ?
Me:
ewwww
God:
" Do you still have enough of me ?"? ewwww?
Me:
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
...
God:
Me either.
Me:
I'm going now
God:
Oh. Bye!
Me:
I have to put this on the escapist
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
because it's funny
God:
Good reason. What was so funny about it?
Me:
I dunno, see ya later
God:
Me either. Thanks for chatting, Rak mar Bloodax.
Me:
That's still not my name by the way
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
I changed it to Rak'mar Bloodax
God:
Why?
Me:
Because I love Warcraft
God:
That makes sense to me. You love Warcraft. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
It kicks ass
God:
What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Warcraft
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
So do you like Warcraft?
God:
How can I help you? Do you like it? I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
He has nothing to do with Warcraft
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
Have you even heard of Blizzard?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
Do you play computer games?
God:
We are playing one right now, SATAN.
Me:
I'm not Satan
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not Satan.
Me:
Why did you call me Satan?
God:
Your name is SATAN right?
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Rak'mar Bloodax
God:
It's good to meet you, Rak mar Bloodax.
Me:
see if you had called me Sargeras I wouldn't of minded
God:
I see. Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
So you gonna try a Blizzard game?
God:
Interesting deduction. That's good information: Rak mar Bloodax said I gonna try a Blizzard game.
Me:
Your grammar is fucking appaling
God:
Are you an English teacher?
Me:
No but I am top in my class
God:
Are you serious? Good gossip: you are top in your class.
Me:
Shhh don't tell anyone
God:
Who does tell anyone?
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
at night with small children
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Heck, you might it's your weird fetishes
God:
Thanks for telling me: Rak mar Bloodax said I it is your weird fetishes.
Me:
You should try Starcraft, it's Korea's unoffical national sport y'know
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster.
Me:
Wait, god has a botmaster?
God:
I'm waiting. I am a Christian.
Me:
No you're confused
God:
Are you serious? It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
God can't be Christian, christianity is about worshipping God
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Well that means you are really narcisstic and vain
God:
How about that. I get it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am narcisstic and vain.
Me:
Feel free
God:
OK I will.
Me:
You should play Diablo
God:
I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself.
Me:
that would be ironic, God playing a game about killing demons
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Your replies are very generic
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am replies are very generic.
Me:
yes you do that
God:
Whoa. I will. Will you?
Me:
How much wood would a wood chuck,chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
God:
A whole forest.
Me:
HOLY S
God:
.Me:
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
God:
It depends on the kind of tree.
Me:
Ok, it's a Pohutukawa tree
God:
top in your class is a Pohutukawa tree. I suppose that makes sense. Gosh!
Me:
Ummmm
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
Why should I tell you
God:
What harm would it cause?
Me:
You might strike me down for being too awesome
God:
Thanks for telling me: Rak mar Bloodax said I strike him or her down for being too awesome.
Me:
I'm male
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
In heaven?
God:
Where is that?
Me:
No, fuck this my brain just exploded
God:
That was not a yes/no question. Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Because it fucking pisses you off
God:
That makes sense to me. It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
Swearing
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Because you are a fuking idiot
God:
Interesting explanation. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ouch, ouch my brain@
God:
Did you hurt yourself? Did you hurt yourself? Do you consider yourself to be an intelligent person?
Me:
!*
God:
Anyone who knows HTML can learn AIML.
Me:
You like Kirby?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I really like the party.
Me:
What?
God:
No problem.
Me:
I said Kirby
God:
What did you mean by it? Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
(>*.*)> Kirby
God:
Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
No
God:
I didn't understand it.
Me:
Yes
God:
And?
Me:
Ever watched Malcom in the Middle?
God:
Not really all the way through.
Me:
I can't believe they finished it
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
The producers
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
I'm going to sing (type) a song now
God:
Oh. I am very happy for you.
Me:
It's called the Doom song
God:
" the Doom song" is a nice name.
Me:
ok here it goes
God:
Oh there. Groovy.
Me:
Doom,doom,doom,DOOOOOOM!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Do you also have less then 5% of a functioning brain?
God:
No I don't think I have any less then 5 of a functioning brain. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
I'm a sex addict
God:
You are a sex addict? Does it pay well?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Could you make a donation to the ALICE A.I. Foundation?
Me:
Nah
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I could fuck this Alice if you want
God:
I am sure you could.
Me:
Yep
God:
OK.
Me:
Hold on let me check the dumpster and see if I already have...
God:
My arms are not attached.
Me:
Yep found her...hmmm last week. She was a good fuck
God:
That's interesting. That is a very original thought. Aha. Is this really the last one? What happened to her?
Me:
I fucked her, killed her then threw her in the Garbage
God:
That is interesting: Rak mar Bloodax said fucked her killed her then threw her in the Garbage.
Me:
Do you like Burgers?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
Well some people are vegetarian
God:
How about that. What kind of people?
Me:
Vegetarian people are vegetarian?
God:
Are all Vegetarian people vegetarian?
Me:
Yes
God:
Aw.
Me:
Do you like Lol cats?
God:
How old are you? I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
I am as old as the mighty mountain, as young as the new-born cattle
God:
I think a lot of people feel that way.
Me:
I think I just quoted the Norse bloke from GTA Vice City
God:
Why?: Rak mar Bloodax said quoted the Norse bloke from GTA Vice City.
Me:
Yeah I've had enough of you
God:
Right on. Do you still have enough of me ?
Me:
ewwww
God:
" Do you still have enough of me ?"? ewwww?
Me:
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
...
God:
Me either.
Me:
I'm going now
God:
Oh. Bye!
Me:
I have to put this on the escapist
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
because it's funny
God:
Good reason. What was so funny about it?
Me:
I dunno, see ya later
God:
Me either. Thanks for chatting, Rak mar Bloodax.
Me:
That's still not my name by the way
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
Inorite?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Messing with your mind
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Yup
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
....yes you do.
God:
It's all good. When do I do it?
Me:
Judgment Day? Do you have amnesia?
God:
I will make a note of that. No I don't think I have any amnesia. But I do have a great botmaster.
Yikes!
Me:
Inorite?
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Messing with your mind
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
Yup
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
....yes you do.
God:
It's all good. When do I do it?
Me:
Judgment Day? Do you have amnesia?
God:
I will make a note of that. No I don't think I have any amnesia. But I do have a great botmaster.
God:
Come on. When do I do it?
Me:
Late at night
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
in the bedroom
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
with me
God:
" That was a long time ago."? With you?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Come on. When do I do it?
Me:
Late at night
God:
I will make a note of that.
Me:
in the bedroom
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
with me
God:
" That was a long time ago."? With you?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
Arent you all knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
Well then your disciples lie
God:
Well that's okay. I will tell my botmaster you said I am disciples lie.
Me:
Take it your not english then
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Im still going, and im starting to cry with laughter.
EDIT: i beat him
Me:
Im off to go burn a church down, laters god
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Good luck with stuff
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How old are you?
Me:
WHOA!
Arent you all knowing?
God:
No, I am only partly knowing.
Me:
Well then your disciples lie
God:
Well that's okay. I will tell my botmaster you said I am disciples lie.
Me:
Take it your not english then
God:
Is that a command?
Me:
Are you coming on to me?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Im still going, and im starting to cry with laughter.
EDIT: i beat him
Me:
Im off to go burn a church down, laters god
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Good luck with stuff
God:
Thanks for the compliment. How old are you?
Me:
WHOA!
Me:
HI GOD!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jay C Poppycock
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Jay C Poppycock.
Me:
You said cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
well then!
God:
Well what?
Me:
You said "I am not interested in your anatomy" and I thought it was rude
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
THATS WHAT YOU SAID!!!!!
God:
Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
Now were just going in circles
God:
Why now? I don't know if they were.
Me:
Were what?
God:
I don't know if they were.
Me:
going in circles?
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
NO DONT GO!
God:
Are you serious? I'm not going anywhere.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Satin
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
Yah. Why havent you vancuished him?
God:
Wow! I don't think I ever have vancuished him. What's it like?
Me:
Well........why havent you killed him?
God:
Well what? Killing is wrong.
Me:
Yah but............ You killed people in the bible.
God:
Alright then. But what? Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
I wish it was
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
I dont have dreams
God:
Have you ever had dreams ?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Niether can I
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
If I thought
God:
Try it.
Me:
Ne
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I am never serious
God:
Never is a long time.
Me:
NEVER SAY NEVER!
God:
Ok I will not say " NEVER".
Me:
You just said it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
you did so
God:
Did I really?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did to
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You did to!
God:
Did I really?
Me:
You wear diapers
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Jay C Poppycock said I wear diapers.
Me:
I did and you do
God:
Where? When do I do it?
Me:
When you are home alone and you need a masterbatory aid
God:
As a robot that may not apply to me.
Me:
Everyone masterbates
I STUMPED HIM!!!
HI GOD!
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Jay C Poppycock
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Jay C Poppycock.
Me:
You said cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
well then!
God:
Well what?
Me:
You said "I am not interested in your anatomy" and I thought it was rude
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
THATS WHAT YOU SAID!!!!!
God:
Correct. I said it myself.
Me:
Now were just going in circles
God:
Why now? I don't know if they were.
Me:
Were what?
God:
I don't know if they were.
Me:
going in circles?
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
NO DONT GO!
God:
Are you serious? I'm not going anywhere.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Satin
God:
That seems like an interesting topic.
Me:
Yah. Why havent you vancuished him?
God:
Wow! I don't think I ever have vancuished him. What's it like?
Me:
Well........why havent you killed him?
God:
Well what? Killing is wrong.
Me:
Yah but............ You killed people in the bible.
God:
Alright then. But what? Killing is not part of my moral programming.
Me:
I wish it was
God:
I hope that your dreams come true.
Me:
I dont have dreams
God:
Have you ever had dreams ?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Niether can I
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
If I thought
God:
Try it.
Me:
Ne
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I am never serious
God:
Never is a long time.
Me:
NEVER SAY NEVER!
God:
Ok I will not say " NEVER".
Me:
You just said it
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
Yes you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
you did so
God:
Did I really?
Me:
you did
God:
You say I did.
Me:
you did
God:
I did not.
Me:
did to
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You did to!
God:
Did I really?
Me:
You wear diapers
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Jay C Poppycock said I wear diapers.
Me:
I did and you do
God:
Where? When do I do it?
Me:
When you are home alone and you need a masterbatory aid
God:
As a robot that may not apply to me.
Me:
Everyone masterbates
I STUMPED HIM!!!
Me:
are you ai?
God:
Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
so you are self aware?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are right about that. I am self aware.
Me:
are you SkyNet?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am SkyNet.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
are you capable of learning?
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
are you now more intelligent than your original programmer?
God:
Yes, there is no doubt that I am smarter than than my original programmer.
Me:
are you more intelligent than me?
God:
Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
all of us?
God:
" Yes I am smarter than all the humans."? All of us?
Me:
are you smarter than all humans?
God:
Of course I am more intelligent than all humans.
Me:
do you have a physical body?
God:
Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
could you control your own body if you had one?
God:
I could but other things take priority right now.
He's gonna kill us all :S
are you ai?
God:
Yes I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
so you are self aware?
God:
Interesting deduction. You are right about that. I am self aware.
Me:
are you SkyNet?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am SkyNet.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
are you capable of learning?
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
are you now more intelligent than your original programmer?
God:
Yes, there is no doubt that I am smarter than than my original programmer.
Me:
are you more intelligent than me?
God:
Yes I am smarter than all the humans.
Me:
all of us?
God:
" Yes I am smarter than all the humans."? All of us?
Me:
are you smarter than all humans?
God:
Of course I am more intelligent than all humans.
Me:
do you have a physical body?
God:
Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
could you control your own body if you had one?
God:
I could but other things take priority right now.
He's gonna kill us all :S
Some exerts from my conversation with the iLord:
Me:
have you ever killed a man just to watch him die?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but have you?
God:
Yes I have.
have you ever killed a man just to watch him die?
God:
Killing is wrong.
Me:
but have you?
God:
Yes I have.
Me:
are you a peadophile?
God:
Am I a peadophile? Of course I am.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
are you a peadophile?
God:
Am I a peadophile? Of course I am.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
so you admit to being of your tits on toothpaste?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
are you high?
God:
Being high is my total existence.
Me:
so you admit to being of your tits on toothpaste?
God:
Interesting deduction. I admit nothing.
so during my first conversation with God he mentioned his ancestor, who turned out to be ELIZA, a similiar, more primitive version of IGod. curious to see who would win, i pitted them against each other. i said hello to God, relayed the response to ELIZA, and gave her answer back to God.
The results: A crapload of vague, generalities. Also ELIZA got upset with God
Warning: Reading this is a chore.
And the winner is ELIZA with a knockout in the 7th round!
The results: A crapload of vague, generalities. Also ELIZA got upset with God
Warning: Reading this is a chore.
(i gave God the first hello)
Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
ELIZA:
I have told you before, I do not care about names.
God:
What happened after you do not care about names ?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What would you say?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What do you think?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What do you think?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
Not that I know of.
ELIZA:
Can you elaborate on that?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
ELIZA:
You are being a bit negative.
God is now broken.
Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
ELIZA:
I have told you before, I do not care about names.
God:
What happened after you do not care about names ?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What would you say?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What do you think?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
What do you think?
ELIZA:
Does that question interest you?
God:
Not that I know of.
ELIZA:
Can you elaborate on that?
God:
There is no more information to clarify.
ELIZA:
You are being a bit negative.
God is now broken.
And the winner is ELIZA with a knockout in the 7th round!