Im 22 and still not laid (starting to get anxious)

[Stormanne]

Confidence is the way to go, mate. Quit worrying about when it will happen and just have a good time. Don't be bashful. And, for fucks sake, get away from the games and computer for a while, you'd be surprised how much of a turn off that is for most women...

 

[lazy_bum]

Ok just to clear this up.

Someone said "go meet people and stop visiting this forum so much". lol just for the record amego I visit this forum every two weeks or so and I spend at the most 20 minutes here.

Im quite social at my job and I do hit on the ocassional female. Shows im trying but they somehow can sense fake confidence I suppose because they make me feel as if im begging for attention. Which im not or I try not to.

And yeah I really didnt want to post this but I figured Id get an outsiders perspective from people on the World Wide Web. I knew some of the responses were going to be "loser, meet people, get a life, go to amsterdam, hire a prostitute, etc"
That is expected from something like this. Somehow though there usually are people who give out pretty good advice.

Still a small part of me thinks this wasnt such a hot idea or maybe Im just going insane. Its a toss up.

while i did lose mine at 17 i had a similair situation to you for years. due to the particular dynamics of my persoanl social group i was pretty much the last virgin amongst us. somethings i found out was that.
1. if your loud enough and rough enough then everyone think you're confident.
2. Most groups have at least one girl (mine had several) that will want to shag you solely on the fact that you're a virgin.
3. not to overstate or understate it, just sort of 'let it be known.'
4. losing it isnt anything special for a guy at the end of the day.

 

[UltraParanoia]

but there should be a few things that are like "Do this, it'll work 90% of the time" and "Don't do this, it won't work 90% of the time" that I can learn from a prostitute.

Hookers are liars. Much like porn, most of the stuff that "works" for them doesn't work in normal sex.

 

[Macgyvercas]

I've had plenty of both types of sex (fucked and sober) and am yet to regret any of it... Baby Tea is full of shit - 'giving all of myself to her' pffffffft. Every time you come up with a witty comment or joke and tell someone it you are giving them a part of yourself. What, should you not share with anyone until you decide to settle down monogamously?

No, I'm not full of shit.
And yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying.

You know, I didn't regret my premarital sex either, until I fell in love with my wife. I wanted (And still want) to give her everything, but I gave part of myself away to other people. I realized what I wasted, and what I couldn't get back. I'm not moping around sad about it, but it's certainly how I feel.

That's right, you tell him, Tea! I stand by what I said before. Listen to this guy, he is a genius

 

[profit0004]

Death without ever having sex.. Meh.... it's fun, but so is Dwarf Fortress...

Death without ever having loved... Now that would be a tragedy.

 

[Brad Shepard]

Well not starting, Im past anxious.

Yeah 22, I know, what a loser. In all honesty Im not sure anymore if its by choice or by chance anymore because I wanted it to be something special but at the same time I dont know if its because of the life ive led. Let me elaborate for a moment.

I am officially the youngest in my family. My parents were in there mid thrties as I recall when they had me. So to put it shortly I was born late. Now I cant help but think that thats kind of a factor because they were raised in the 50's and 60's. My father was never taught anything about sex so he learned by watching Farm animals mind you have sex. So basically all I learned was the basics. To be honest that does now bother me being a free thinking adult. Though some people might say back to me (on here or newgrounds) "your not an adult until you have sex".

Losing virginity never bothered me really it started to call to my attention when I was in high school. There were moments where people could instantly tell that I was one and It started to kind of mess with me in a way. I would wonder to myself "how the hell could they even tell". Then it really hit me in the face when I went to community college. I met this girl while attending who I fell in love with. Were talking head over heels here. She was also a virgin whereas she walked around proud of it. Soon after I adopted this attitiude and at some point every person I was around threw it right in my face. "Dude your still a fucking virgin are you kidding me? How is that possible? When the hell are you going to be ready". It just escalated from there. Luckly the women I was in love with (who BTW had no feelings back for me and wanted to play the friendship card to the fullest) did in fact encourage me that there was nothing wrong with it and kind of admired it. Until one day where she finally had enough of it due to our wonderful group of friends (same people who gave me the shitstorm) god laid. She treated it like it was a full blown compitition two weeks before it happened. Come to think of it another friend of mine did the exact same thing. I am now at a point where I am very much fed up.

And now that I think about it that last line in the paragraph made me feel like a guy whos begging for sex lol. Moving on...

I am at a point in my life where I have no idea what to think about this however I am taking the inniative to make an effort to lift it off of me. The saving it for merrage idea sounded good at one point but im not mormon or even that religious in the first place. Every relationship Ive had in the past was (oh this is going to come across really emo) for the lack of a better word "pathetic". I have made out with girls but just never went all the way. My pattern went like this; the girls I had an interest in had nothing back whatsoever and the girls that were interested in me I had absolutly nothing back yet I still gave them a chance.

Im just at a total stump right now in my life I still get crap for this and I have been outspoken about this to my family members. Lets put it this way my father offered to get me a prostitute but I said I would think about it. My best friend hears about this, who by the way now gives me the most shit about being a virgin, says no way to that idea.

I have more to say but this is a good start
could be confidence but ill get to that in my second post. (yes there is more)

Ok dude, look, this is the only thing i can say, if you find someone that you are willing to lose your virginity to, the good for you, but dont fuck some idiot, look for the right girl and then your golden, i was 19 before i lost mine, so dont worry about it man, let them tease you, it just proves there idiots.

Love and Lust are different, find someone you love and then think about it.

 

[The_Bearded_One]

heres an idea
ASK you're parents and not the innuendo filled 11 year old that is the internet

Just saying

 

[teutonicman]

Maybe you're playing for the wrong team?

 

[MrBirdy]

Go to Amsterdam.

PROBLEM SOLVED

lol i have to admire that idea as i have just got back from amsterdam and was completely...shocked to say the least at what its like over there.

Why where you shocked? There's nothing that special there you know... ( yes I live 30 minutes from Amsterdam...)

 

[Slashergirl]

Who cares if your a virgin? Be proud of it.

 

[Abengoshis]

Why do you even need to have sex, can't you control your urges? I HOPE I never have sex.

 

[Abengoshis]

In fact, does it even matter if you don't have sex. What's the point in having sex with a prostitute JUST because you haven't had sex yet? Why don't you save it for someone you will probably be with for the rest of your life.

Don't succumb to peer pressure. I laugh when people point out that I am still a virgin, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way - besides, Nikola Tesla managed.

 

[Stabby Joe]

I've seen this type of question asked many times on the internet and nearly everyone responding is acting like a frat boy...

I actually think this whole situation is rather sad considering your friend is just ripping on you and your dad wants to shrug it off with a hooker!?

 

[Abengoshis]

Knew about 100 girls who were like that. They changed as soon as they hit college or were a bit older. It's an excuse for being scared or not ready. (Which are fine reasons on their own and don't need an excuse)

No, it's not an excuse, it's a mindset. I, for example, am not scared of sex and are completely ready - if I wanted to, I could easily have sex (well, if I had a partner that is). I just don't like anyone enough; I don't want it to get in the way of more important things such as studies.

I'm not homosexual, I'm heterosexual, but I'm also asexual - I don't want to have sex and don't like the idea of relationships (especially the irrationality one acquires during relationships) but I am still attracted to females...which is annoying.

 

[Arcadia2000]

snip!

Welcome to the Escapist!

Yeah 22, I know, what a loser.

Wait, what?
Why does that make you a loser?

Trust me when I say that society and media place way too much importance on sex. I know since you've never had it that you think it's this end-all-be-all of experiences, but it's not. Don't get me wrong: I enjoy sex (I'm happily married), but it's not a something to belittle yourself over, that's for sure. The people who care about the age of when you have sex are the people whose opinion you should hold in the lowest regard.

And please read this:

I know they're probably joking, but you should lose your virginity because you love that person, not because you want to get laid.
Being a virgin does not make you a loser. I wish I lost mine to my current boyfriend, but I was stupid and reckless and now I can't get it back.

This is very true.
I always saw sex as a gift. When you have sex with someone, you give a part of yourself to that person, and they to you. The more it's given to different people, the cheaper the gift gets. I wish I had waited until I married my wife, because I want to give her every part of me. But now I can't, because I squandered that gift on selfish lust.

Think about it.

This. All of it. I was just going to quote EE up there, but Baby Tea has added pretty much what I was going to tell you. Being a virgin does not make you a loser. My husband was a virgin when we first met. I wasn't, and the only reason we had sex before we got married was because he was in the military and going to Afghanistan and didn't want to go off to war and possibly get killed before experiencing sex. We were engaged by that point though.

This is a little more on the practical side vs. the emotional gift point (which is completely meaningful and in many ways a more important reason). People say you don't know what you're missing, and you should consider that not a curse, but a great gift.

I tried to tell my husband-to-be at the time that having sex for the first time right before you go off to war is a bad idea, because sex changes your life. You can't go back to a time before you knew what it was like once you've done it. And once you've done it you will want it again. And again. And again, and again, and again. If you start out with a one-night stand or without a meaningful relationship backing up the act to give you the possibility of more, you will regret having done it. My husband did in fact regret doing the deed before we had time to fully explore the possibilities that sex opens up in a relationship. He was stuck overseas for a year and during some of the phone calls he told me that I was right and he should have kept waiting.

I also regretted not having waited to give my virginity to my husband. It was nice to have some experience, true, but I feel that point does not outweigh the feeling of ... loss... of not being able to share the same gift with my husband that he gave to me.

You don't have to be a social butterfly to get a chick. The best advice I've heard for searching is to go to a college town. Don't go to have sex though. Go to meet someone with matching interests that you can talk to. Make girl friends, not girlfriends. You don't have to be charming, or smooth, or the life of the party. Be sincere. Be friendly. Be nice. Don't be negative, or an asshole. If things go well, don't be afraid to ask for a number, and be cool if you get turned down. Shrug and go on.

When you're 42 and still a virgin, get anxious then, because that means you've failed at relationships and probably need some counseling.

 

[RoboPenguin]

Ok, from a woman's point of view: Ewww. You're on a game forum proclaiming to be desperate. No offense, but at this point go with the prostitute because I know of very few women who'd be attracted to that.

First. Make up your mind who you are. Don't let people who clearly don't respect you for who you are, right now at this moment, decide who you should be and what you should do. You want to get laid? Then find out why and base your decisions on that. Don't be a pathetic push over or point the finger in any other direction than yourself. In other words, be a man.

Second. Stop worrying. It's a turn off and you won't get any girls "naturally" that way. Sex isn't the end-all-be-all. If you make it your goal in life you'll be disappointed.


Another thing, stop whining. There are plenty of people out there who are older than you and have never had sex and are HAPPY. You're letting this consume you it seems and because of the opinion of "friends" not because of your own opinion or ideals.

Sorry if that sounded harsh. I'm not trying to demean you, just saying what I'd say to any of my friends if they were in this situation. I'm from the tough love school of thought.

 

[xDarc]

Why don't you save it for someone you will probably be with for the rest of your life.

Because there's nothing special or sacred about it. It's all bullshit people made up. It's reproduction and evolution has encouraged it by making it feel very good. Believe whatever ya want, but the fact is you are wasting the best years of your natural life pursuing experiences that are much more artificial and not nearly as memorable.

 

[AnonymouZero]

I guess sex after marriage is dead?

it died on the 70's

 

[You_have_a_name]

just go to a night club and fuck a drunk slut, problem solved